Everybody takes it as whole cloth

This was uttered by President Trump’s press secretary, Sean Spicer, at the May 9, 2017 press conference.  He was responding to a question about James Clapper’s testimony in front of the Senate Intelligence Committee involving Russian interference in the last US Presidential election.  Here is what he said:

MR. SPICER:  Sure, I mean, in the sense that I’m not going to question.  But I think the interesting thing is on all the other issues that he testifies about everybody takes it as whole cloth, that if he says anything he must — he was the DNI.  So when you guys want him to speak for the entire 17 agencies, you sort of assume that that’s what he’s doing.

https://www.whitehouse.gov/the-press-office/2017/05/09/daily-press-briefing-press-secretary-sean-spicer-46

Considering the context, this is a mash up of “cut out of whole cloth”, meaning completely fictional or utterly false, and “takes (something) as gospel”, meaning believing something that is undeniably true.  Mr. Spicer switched these, and thought I guess that “whole cloth” means it’s true.  I wonder how he would describe some of the President’s tweets?  Interestingly, the phrase “cut out of whole cloth” is a reference to tailors who would falsely advertise garments being “cut out of whole cloth,” when in reality, they were pieced together from different cuts.  A big thanks to that Malaphor Man on the Street Mike Kovacs!


The cat’s out of the barn

Philip Mudd,  the former Deputy Director of the CIA National Counterterrorism Center, and current CNN counterterrorism analyst, was speaking on the HBO show Real Time with Bill Maher (the May 5, 2017 episode).  About 42 minutes into the show, the panel discusses how Donald Trump should just be “quarantined” from taking actions by himself.  Mr. Mudd then said you can’t “quarantine” Trump when it comes to foreign affairs and he cited several examples of Trump’s unilateral actions.  He than blurted out the above malaphor, followed quickly by “or whatever that expression is”.  What I love about his reaction is that this is precicsely what happens when a malaphor is uttered unintentionally.  The speaker realizes that the expression is wrong, but is not sure why and how to correct it.  The panel’s reaction was also classic, as they smirked but didn’t quite know why.

“The cat’s out of the barn” is a nice mash up of “the cat’s out of the bag” (the secret has been made known) and, because of the context, “lock the barn door after the horse has bolted” or “the horse is out of the barn”, both meaning an action that is useless as it is too late, which is what the speaker was describing. Certainly cats do live in barns to keep the mice population in check, so conflating cats with barns creates the malaphor.   The words bag and barn also have similar sounds, adding to the confusion.

Amazingly, three malaphor hunters heard this one and sent it in on the same day.  Three cheers to Mike Kovacs, Karl Robins, and Vasuki Narayan for hearing this one.  They all have ears like a hawk.

Well, the cat is certainly out of the barn about my book on malaphors, “He Smokes Like a Fish and other Malaphors”, available on Amazon.  The phones have been ringing off the wall!  Get one today!  http://www.amazon.com/dp/0692652205


The speech played a factor

This is a very subtle mashup.  Rachel Maddow (again) was referring to Dean Acheson’s speech and said it might have “played a factor” in leading to the Korean War.  This is a congruent conflation of “played a role (or part)”  and “is a factor in (or factored in)”, both meaning to have a specific involvement or participation in something.  Based on google hits, this is a very common malaphor.  Thanks again to Frank King for hearing this one and dropping me a line.

Talk shows (particularly political talk shows) are full of malaphors.  You can read more of them in my book, “He Smokes Like a Fish and other Malaphors”, available on Amazon.  Makes a great addition to any bathroom library!


They’re going to have to set the screws straight

This was overheard on a sports radio talk show, referring to a baseball team and the need to get better this year.  It is a mashup of “tighten the screws” (pressure someone or something) and “set the record straight” (to put right or correct a mistake or misunderstanding).  Putting a screw in straight may have bubbled up to the speaker’s mind and mouth, creating the malaphor.  A big thanks to Jack Chandler for hearing this one and passing it on.  By the way, you can hear Jack wail with his quartet at Luna’s Cafe in Sacramento when he’s not spotting malaphors.  https://www.facebook.com/events/475836506139834/

 


She called me every name under the book

This was uttered by Rebecca on the TLC t.v. show “Return to Amish”.   It is a nice congruent conflation of “every name under the sun”  and “every name in the book”, both meaning calling someone almost every name you can imagine.   A tip of the hat to Vicki Kovacs for hearing this one.  Mike, her husband, asked if this was the first Amish malaphor posted and I believe it is.  Congrats Mike!

This malaphor came from the television world.  An entire chapter of my book “He Smokes Like a Fish and other Malaphors” is devoted to malaphors found in television.  The book is available on Amazon for an inexpensive $6.99!  Cheap thrills indeed.


I haven’t heard hide nor hair of that guy

Hearing and seeing are two different things.  But in the malaphor world, they are the same.  This alliterative mixup was heard on the Rachel Maddow Show.  She was discussing the Michael Flynn affair, and about an FSB agent who was charged with treason but very little news since the charge.  The transcript of the show can be found here: http://www.msnbc.com/transcripts/rachel-maddow-show/2017-03-03

This is a mashup of “not seen hide nor hair of someone” (haven’t seen someone or something in a long time) and “have not heard a peep” (haven’t heard anything).  Personally, the only time I hear hair is when it is squeaky clean.  A shout out to comedian Frank King for hearing this one and passing it on.


She will probably saute down about 10 o’clock

This was said when a couple thought they would see another colleague.  At first I thought it was a malaprop and not a malaphor, as the speaker was replacing sashay with saute.  But since the word “down” was used, which is commonly coupled with ‘saunter”, I am convinced it is a word blend of “sashay” (walk in an ostentatious yet casual manner) and “saunter” (walk in a slow, relaxed manner), although saute is an actual word and word blends are more like portmanteaus – see explanation of the difference between a portmanteau and a single word malaphor – https://malaphors.com/2013/02/02/portmanteaus-and-single-word-malaphors/.  A big thanks to Kevin Ross for hearing this one and passing it on!


You may want to take your foot off the throat a little bit

A faculty member was cautioning a student who was putting together a very aggressive class schedule and uttered this malaphor, although it might be a malaprop.  I think it is a congruent conflation of  “put your foot on the gas”  and “going full throttle”, both meaning to move very quickly.  “Throat” is perhaps a malaprop of “throttle” in this instance.  “Ram something down someone’s throat” (to force something upon someone) might be in the mix considering it was spoken in the academic world.  “Put (one’s) foot in (one’s) mouth” (to say something foolish or embarrassing) might also be in play, as the throat is certainly in the mouth.  A big thanks to Lou Pugliese who heard this one and passed it  on!


He wasn’t the brightest bulb in the basket

This is another in the collection of what I call “Idiom Overloads”.  It is a mashup of “not the brightest bulb in the pack (or chandelier)” (slow-witted or dull person) and I think “don’t put all your eggs in one basket” (don’t focus all your attention on one thing).  The speaker was probably imagining a bulb in his mind but eggs also look a little like bulbs.  Since many of the idioms describing dull or stupid people have an “in the (blank)” part of the phrase he then added “in the basket.”  “Basket case” (emotionally unstable person) also may be in the mix.

The various sayings describing a dimwit are similar sounding and involve something in a unit or package that is unique, hence the confusion.   I call this phenomenon “idiom overload”.  I have posted other variations on this theme – see https://malaphors.com/2015/12/07/youre-not-the-brightest-toolbox-in-the-shed/ and https://malaphors.com/2013/06/24/not-the-brightest-tool-in-the-shed/.

Also see https://malaphors.com/2016/03/04/hes-not-the-sharpest-light-bulb-in-the-pack/

Another example of idiom overload is describing the obvious: “is the Pope Catholic?”. “Does a bear shit in the woods?” etc.  These get mixed up regularly.   A tip of the hat to Josh Berry for hearing this one and sending it on!

 


He’s really ahead of the eight ball

This was found in Baltimore’s newspaper, the Baltimore Sun.  A player at the Univ. of Maryland said of his teammate, “For someone so young, he’s really ahead of the eight ball.”  This is a nice mashup of “ahead of the curve” (at the forefront of leading something) and “behind the eight ball” (in trouble or in a weak or losing position).  “Behind” and “ahead” are certainly part of the problem here, but also the speaker may have been thinking of a curve ball in baseball.   And of course, in eight ball, you certainly want to be ahead of it when making your shots.  A big thanks to Larry Mason who spotted this beauty.