If you hear or see a malaphor, please let me know by dropping a comment on the website.  Please include who said it and/or where you heard/saw it.

435 Comments on “Contact”

  1. Charlesmed says:

    Sanders, who famously called Denver “wide receiver heaven” when he arrived as part of Elway’s splashy free agency class last spring, said this was the kind of year he envisioned.
    “These guys are just more experienced, these guys are quicker, so you’ve got to be able to play up to their level,” he said. “It’s not like in college, where you’re setting the level, it’s an easy job. Every day you’re going up against a guy who’s fighting for a paycheck just like you are.”
    While some questioned whether Gore might be running out of steam, the Colts didn’t. Instead, after Gore initially agreed to sign with Philadelphia, Indy welcomed his change of mind.
    Cornerback Alan Ball suffered a groin injury and missed the last two games, but veteran free agent acquisition Tracy Porter has stood out in his place after overcoming a preseason hamstring injury of his own.
    “Thought we were ready to get over the hump, but we’re not quite there yet,” Tampa Bay coach Lovie Smith said, lamenting dropped passes, untimely penalties and other mistakes that undermined his team.

  2. Rex W Last says:

    Just come across your book/website. Book has similar title to mine, based on an actual individual who mangled the language on this side of the pond for many years. All profits from the book go to the Perth (Scotland) branch of Guide Dogs.

    Look forward to reading yours

    Rex Last

    • Rex W Last says:

      PS I can send you a PDF copy if you like – what address should I use for the email?

      Rex Last

      • davemalaphor says:

        Would love to get a copy of your book. My email is I have been collecting malaphors for years. My book focuses only on malaphors, and not other word errors (e.g., malaprops, spoonerisms). On this side of the pond, I too knew someone (a work colleague) who mangled the language and he was my inspiration for collecting malaphors. Look forward to hearing from you. Dave

  3. Ruth Dilts says:

    Hi Dave. Just saw this on CNN. “You put your finger on the nail.” Christiane Amanpour, CNN

  4. Barry Eigen says:

    Happy New Year. I saw this one today: “throwing risk to the wind.” Here’s the whole sentence: “Actually, one of the dangers is that people could be throwing risk to the wind and this thing could be a runaway.” And here’s the source: A mashup of “throwing caution to the wind” and take your pick of risk phrases; e.g., taking a risk.

  5. Barry Eigen says:

    I saw a good one in today’s Daily 202: “He’s tooting that horn all the way to the bank,” a mashup of “tooting his own horn” and “laughing [or crying] all the way to the bank.” Here’s the whole quote for context: “This is going to be Biden’s last stand because he thinks that black people are going to support him just because of Barack Obama,” said Connie Breeden, an attorney in Columbia who is African American. “He’s tooting that horn all the way to the bank. But people are savvier than that.”

  6. Robert J. Smith says:

    I just heard a reporter (Helene Cooper?) on Meet the Press say, in speaking about Senator Biden, “All the stacks are in his favor.”.
    I think it’s a mixing of “The odds are in his favor” And “The cards are stacked (for or against) him.”

  7. Barry Eigen says:

    My doctor has been sending daily emails with COVID-19 updates. Today’s contained the malaphor, “the chips are falling apart,” a mashup of “things are falling apart” and “let the chips fall where they may.” Here’s the whole paragraph: “It’s happening. Antivirals, old drugs, and new drugs, monoclonal antibodies, filters, passive use of recovered patient serum. When the chips are falling apart, that is when we find the strength to rebuild. That is who we are.” Interestingly (or not), in 2016 chip credit cards were falling apart.

  8. Barry Eigen says:

    To add to your “wrench” malaphor collection, from today’s Washington Post: “The covid-19 thing has really thrown a wrench in us sideways.” Several choices to my ear. “Throw a wrench (or monkey wrench)” in the works.” “Knocked us sideways.” Maybe “thrown us for a loop”? I’m sure you’ll figure it out.

  9. Barry Eigen says:

    I’m not positive, but pretty sure this is one. From today’s headlines: “Fauci warns states rushing to reopen: ‘You’re making a really significant risk.” A mashup of “making a mistake” and “taking a risk,” no?

  10. verbatim says:

    Heard two people talking about upcoming 2020 presidential debates between Trump and Joe Biden. One person said of Trump:

    “Trump’s going to eat him apart….”

    This is combination of “eat him alive” and “tear him apart”

  11. Steve Rose says:

    Felipe Coronel, aka Immortal Technique, interviewed on Latino USA, when asked about COVID-19 he said it “threw a monkey in the wrench”.

    • davemalaphor says:

      Hi Steve! This is a great mixup, but not sure it’s a malaphor but rather a mangling of the phrase, “throw a monkey wrench in the works”. Is there another idiom scrambled there I’m not seeing?

  12. Barry Eigen says:

    Saw this in the news today: “We’ll be walking a tightrope around coronavirus for some time.” A mashup of “walking a tightrope” (being extremely careful and precise) and probably “tiptoeing around” (avoiding confrontation). Not especially funny, but a malaphor nonetheless, I think. I thought I might be able to find a picture of a circular tightrope to send you, but couldn’t find one.

  13. Barry Eigen says:

    My dentist said this one this morning as he explained all the new things he has to do: “I’m still getting the ropes.” A mashup of “I’m still getting the hang of it” and “I’m still learning the ropes.”

  14. davemalaphor says:

    Nice. Hope you didnt look a little “down in the tooth”

  15. verbatim says:

    I heard a mom talking to her rambunctious child, who was over-excited and talking too loudly in public: “use your indoor words.”

    She conflated, “use your words” (tell me with words what you want, rather than whining and crying); and “use your indoor voice” (speak more quietly).

  16. Barry Eigen says:

    “Things kind of petered off,” a mashup of “petered out” and “tapered off.” This unfortunately comes from a sad passage in an article about Covid-19 deaths, but it’s a malaphor nonetheless. Here’s the sentence: “And then things kind of petered off a little bit in those areas, and now we’re kind of seeing it getting closer and wondering when we’re gonna have to deal with this. But again, we’re preparing for it as best as we can in the hospitals that I’m working for.” On a lighter note, I thought of finding a picture to illustrate “petered off,” but you’ll be happy to know that I thought better of it.

    Here’s a link. (I’m not sure it’s going to work, because the article is for subscribers. If it does, the malaphor is in the very last paragraph.)

  17. Cecily Franklin says:

    From today’s Wall Street Journal: “The genie is out of the bag”. This is a quote by Devesh Shah, retired from Goldman Sachs, in an article about volatility.

  18. Fred Martin says:

    Just heard on our local news. A Baltimore City DPW official was giving an update on trash/garbage pickup problems because trashmen off work as a result of the coronavirus. He said: “There is a silver lining at the end of the tunnel.”

  19. verbatim says:

    A YouTuber talking about someone in the media:

    “Not the brightest tool in the shed”

    mixing “brightest lightbulb” and “sharpest tool in the shed.”

  20. verbatim says:

    Here’s a subtle one; in a new book from a best selling author:

    on the back of his mind

    combination of “on one’s mind” and “at the back of one’s mind”

  21. davemalaphor says:

    That’s a good one, and very common too. I have not posted it before so will post soon. Do you know who the author is and the context?

    • verbatim says:

      It’s from Harlan Coban’s new book “The Boy From The Woods”. The main character seems to be thinking about his former-girlfriend. It almost seems like a typo in the book, where the main character was thinking that the girlfriend “had been on his mind”.

      But, hey, the actual words written in the book are “on the back of his mind”, so who am I to argue?! Here’s more of the paragraph:

      “But Wilde liked Ava. Part of him didn’t quite want to accept it, but something made him want to see her again. Ava had been on the back of his mind since yesterday at the 7-Eleven, when he’d surprised himself by suggesting they get back together again. Nothing serious.”

      Just based on that, it seems like it should be one or the other, not both, with preference to “on his mind”.

  22. verbatim says:

    On a recent Adam Carolla podcast:

    “People are afraid they might get voted out into the cornfield.”

    Adam Carolla was talking about people’s fear of being ostracized.

    This is a strange conflation of “voted out of office” and “wished out into the cornfield” (from the famous Twilight Zone episode, “It’s A Good Life”)

  23. davemalaphor says:

    This one seems intentional, given the source (a comedian). Don’t you think? Riffing on the Twilight Zone episode and our current political situation. Dave

  24. Fred Martin says:

    Hi David — not sure if a malaphor but Art Laffler on the the FOX Business Channel today at 4:35 PM said “It’s not rocket surgery.” He was talking about eliminating the employment tax.

  25. verbatim says:

    On a podcast about the volatile nature of today’s political environment:

    “It’s like throwing a wrench in china shop.”

    This is a humorous mix of “throw a wrench in the gears of…” (purposefully caused chaos) and “like a bull in a China shop” (wild, unpredictable chaos)

  26. hawraf says:

    Saw a Tumblr screenshot about someone allegedly saying “I picked a whole *** bouquet of whoopsie-daisies”!

    A combination of “oopsie-daisy” and “whoops”.

    Here’s the source image:

    Also, I like making up some malaphors for my “book” (if I ever write it), can I leave a comment about them or should they be found “out in the wild” 😅😂?

    Love your website! And love the concept of malaphors! Your emails about new malaphors always give me a chuckle 😀 🤩🥳

    Thank you for your awesome work!!!!!! 😄

    • davemalaphor says:

      Thank you hawraf! Yes, a bonafide malaphor must be unintentional (otherwise they aren’t that funny, right?). I like to give the context and source when I post one to show that they were not made up. Also, check out my two books on malaphors. You can find them and the links on this website under sub-title “Buy the Books!” Dave

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