mishmatch

Jason Kelce, ESPN analyst and color commentator, said this single word malaphor during the Steelers/Saints game in Paris when he noted that tight end Pittsburgh Steelers Darnell Washington was much taller and bigger than the guy who was covering him. It is a single word blend of “mishmash” (confused assortment of different things) and “mismatch” (wrongly matched items or people that do not go together well). Word blends are a subset of malaphors. They are unconscious blends of words to make an unintentional new word. The word sounds or looks correct at first blush, but then on closer examination is incorrect. Examples on my website are “Buckminster Palace” (Buckingham and Westminster, and/or possibly Buckminster Fuller) and “split-minute decision” (split second and last minute). Word nerds might say these are portmanteaus, but a portmanteau is a combination of two (or more) words or morphemes, and their definitions, into one new word.

A big thanks to Bruce Ryan for catching this one in the end zone for a malaphor TD!


Many ways to swing a cat

This one came out in a conversation about art and philosophy. It’s an accidental conflation of “more than one way to skin a cat” (multiple ways to achieve a goal or solve a problem) and “not enough room to swing a cat” (describing a place that is small and cramped). As the contributor suggested, perhaps this malaphor could be used in a situation where the possibilities or configurations are endless but the material resources are scarce resulting in an unsatisfying attempt to solve something. Or maybe the speaker was thinking beatnik talk – “That cat really swings!” Anyway, a big thank you to Eleanor for sending this one in.


put your thumb on exactly where it is

This one was heard on the podcast All In with Chris Hayes, in a discussion about Bernie Sanders. It is a mashup of “put your thumb on the scale” (unfairly influence a process or outcome) and “put your finger on it” (identify the exact reason of a situation with precision). Digit confusion. Props to frequent malaphor contributor Frank King for spotting this one.


They’re taking their move

Heard at a volleyball watch party. This is a congruent conflation of “making a move” and “taking a shot”, both meaning to initiate an action. This one is subtle and difficult to hear/spot, but frequent malaphor contributor Sam Edelmann has ears like a hawk. Thanks for sending this one in, Sam!


Barking up the wrong hole

This one was heard on the HBO series A Killer Story. In Episode 2 at 12:58 Jeffrey Sutton utters this nice malaphor. It is a congruent conflation of “barking up the wrong tree” and “down the rabbit hole”, both meaning to pursue a mistaken course of action. Another tip of the hat to Doug Pietrucha for hearing this one and sending it in.


They are itching at the bit

This one was heard on a conference call. It is a congruent conflation of “itching to (do something)” and “champing at the bit”, both meaning to be anxious to do something. I say “champing” and not “chomping” as I thought the latter was unacceptable. I am wrong. The following NPR piece straightens me out:

The listener could have complained that “chomping at the bit” is a cliché, and that it’s one we’ve used at least three times so far this month. But his gripe was more specific — that we should have said “champing at the bit.”

To the dictionary we go:

Webster’s says “champ at the bit” is to “show impatience at restraint; be restless.” It comes from something said about horses when they bite their bits “repeatedly and restlessly.” They “champ.”

That fits with what we were trying to say this week about President Obama and his eagerness to get out on the campaign trail.

The AP says “champ at the bit” is “the original and better form.”

But, Webster’s adds that “chomp at the bit” is a variation.

What’s more, no less an authority than William Safire weighed in 31 years ago, saying that “to spell it champing at the bit when most people would say chomping at the bit is to slavishly follow outdated dictionary preferences.”

The Grammarist blog also comes down on the side of “chomping.” It points out that “champing at the bit can sound funny to people who aren’t familiar with the idiom or the obsolete sense of champ, while most English speakers can infer the meaning of chomping at the bit.”https://078e7128b0654f4ab714f494cb89616f.safeframe.googlesyndication.com/safeframe/1-0-45/html/container.html

We’ve been … itching to issue a note about some picky point of punctuation or grammar. After chewing on this one for a while, we’re not going to insist on “champing.” Feel free to use it. After all, you’ll score points with the lexicographers out there.

But “chomping” is fine. June 9, 2016

Props to Doug Pietrucha for sharing this one.


the box trot

There was a discussion about dancing and someone said that his cousin “is famous for the box trot”. This is a mashup of “fox trot” and “box step”. Or maybe it really is a new dance? I’m chalking it up as a malaphor. Thanks to Chuck Hatsis for sharing this one.


Cool cucumbers

During the New York Mets/San Diego Padres game, Mets announcer Keith Hernandez described two of the Met pitchers as “cool cucumbers.” He promply corrected himself with “cool as a cucumber” but the malaphor was already out of the barn. This is a congruent conflation of “cool customer” and “cool as a cucumber”, both referring to someone who stays calm and composed, particularly in difficult times. A tip of the toque to frequent malaphor contributor Martin Pietrucha for sharing this one.


Keep your eye on the grindstone

The boss at a staff meeting said this one. It is a mashup of “keep your nose to the grindstone” (work hard and diligently) and “keep your eye on the ball” (to stay focused and pay close attention). For some reason various body parts are used with grindstones, creating multiple malaphors. I have posted these gems previously – “he just keeps his head to the grindstone”, “keep an ear to the grindstone”, “put your shoulder to the grindstone”, and “I’m back to the grindstone”. https://malaphors.com/2026/04/06/im-back-to-the-grindstone/ https://malaphors.com/2025/06/16/he-just-keeps-his-head-to-the-grindstone/ https://malaphors.com/2012/12/01/keep-an-ear-to-the-grindstone/ https://malaphors.com/2012/07/20/put-your-shoulder-to-the-grindstone/

A big thanks to Fandango for sharing this one.