We need to hit the sock off the ball

This one was heard on a conference call from someone expressing the need for the group to do a really good job. This is a congruent conflation of “knock the socks off (someone or something)” and “knock the cover off the ball”, both meaning to thoroughly impress or excite someone. A sock is a cover, so this mental image might have confused the speaker. “Hit (something) out of the park” is also in the mix, as it means to do something extraordinarily well, which fits the context. A big thanks to Yvonne Stam, who knocked the sock out of the park with this entry.


I’m groping for words

This might be my new tag on my website. This beauty was heard on HGTV by a woman expressing her feelings when seeing for the first time her home renovations. This is a mashup of “at a loss for words” (not able to say anything) and “groping in the dark” (to seek in a blind, aimless manner). “Grasping at straws” (make a desperate attempt at a bad situation) might also have been in the speaker’s mind with “grasp” and grope” mixed up. Then again, this might not be a malaphor but just a messed up outburst. A big thanks to Mike Kovacs for hearing this one and sending it in.


We are off the walls!

A couple was very excited about good news they received and posted that they were “off the walls”. Given the context, I believe that this is a mashup of “bouncing off the walls” (nervous excitement) and “off the charts” (a lot better than expected). “Off the rails” (crazy, mentally unhinged) could also be in the mix as they may have been crazy with excitement? Kudos to Buzz McClain for spotting this one and sending it in.


Putting a flag in the sand

There was a discussion about a technical issue on a conference call. Two people had different views, and one was so determined about his position that he uttered this malaphor. It appears he was trying to say “put a stake in the ground” (making a firm decision or determination) but instead he mixed “line in the sand” (a figurative boundary where no further compromise can be made) and “plant a flag” (making a firm decision). A hat tip to Mike Kovacs for hearing this one.


Nothing is locked in stone

A hospital nurse was talking to a relative of the patient about the patient’s condition and outlook for improvement. This is a congruent conflation of “set/carved in stone” and “locked in”, both meaning firmly committed or decided. A big thanks to Anthony Kovacs for hearing this one and sending it in.


You hit the nail on the button

Two friends were talking. One correctly guesses the answer to some question they are contemplating. The other one says, “you hit the nail on the button.” This is a congruent conflation of “hit the nail on the head” and “on the button”, both meaning to be precisely correct or accurate. There are lots of malaphors emanating from “hitting the nail”. Check out my website and type in “nail” or “head”. You will come across some beauties such as “you put your finger on the nail” and “you hit the nail on the coffin”.

A big thanks to Verbatim for hearing this one and sending it in!


Lightning never strikes twice in a bottle

This one is similar to the last malaphor posted, “looking to strike some lightning in a bottle”. Seems like there is some confusion here. Some people were discussing whether Trump could get reelected in 2024. One person said history repeats itself and another uttered this malaphor. It is a conflation of “lightning never strikes (the same place) twice” (the same unlikely thing never happens again to the same person) and “catch lightning in a bottle” (achieve at something that is incredibly difficult). A big thanks to major malaphor contributor John Kooser for hearing this one and sending it in.


Looking to strike some lightning in a bottle

This malaphor was found on a website discussing the New York Yankees, pinstripealley.com. The author was talking about the Yankees signing Shelby Miller. It’s a conflation of “strike gold” (become rich or successful by finding or doing something) and “catch lightning in a bottle” (achieve at something that is incredibly difficult). Both phrases involve an achievement. Also, there are “lightning strikes” so the author may have been a little dyslexic here. The website page link is here:

https://www.pinstripealley.com/2022/3/28/22999114/yankees-mlb-news-shelby-miller-signed-gerrit-cole-foreign-substances-cashman-roster-peraza-demoted?fbclid=IwAR1pUFhTLL6BwIbyUhbrHd3r71vS-dExlsnRmALvtjIUCsl4tSxJdSig9pI

A big thank you to Ron MacDonald for spotting this one and sending it in.


I had to shake the waters

A salesman was upset about a company not performing their duties timely, and so he needed to prompt them to act. He then uttered this incongruent conflation of “muddy the waters” (introduce something to an issue that will make it less clear) and “shake (one’s) tree” (to compel someone to take action). “Test the waters” (to experiment) might also be in the mix. Props to Mike Kovacs for hearing this one and sending it in.


Pieczenik goes on to hit the ball out of the fences every single time

This one was found in a Daily Beast article about Ginni Thomas’s (wife of Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas) election fraud claims. It was uttered by comedian Jordan Holmes:

it is a conflation of “swing for the fences” (to act or perform with great energy and effort) and “hit it out of the park” (perform something extraordinarily well). Both are idioms related to baseball, which no doubt caused the mental mixup. A big thank you to John Kooser for spotting this one.