The contributor of this malaphor was also the speaker, and blurted out this beauty by accident. It is almost a congruent conflation, as both “a hand in something” and “a finger in every pie” mean to have an interest in or involvement in a matter, but in the case of finger in every pie, it is involvment in everything. “Fingers” and “hands” seem to be the culprit here, and I suspect, knowing the speaker, that his mind might have been on some pie-fighting scenes in a few 3 Stooges shorts. A shout out to Martin Pietrucha for sending this one in!
Discussing the unfairness of the Iowa Caucuses, former RNC Chairman, Michael Steele on MSNBC uttered this malaphor. It is a mashup of “the whole enchilada” (everything) and “lay (one’s) cards on the table” (to be very candid about one’s position). My guess is that the speaker was hungry. A big thanks to Ron MacDonald for hearing this one and sending it in.
This malaphor was tweeted by former NFL player Brian Dawkins (safety for the Philadelphia Eagles):
This was heard at an administrative hearing. The speaker was talking about work that he was currently performing. It is a congruent conflation of “off the books” and “under the table”, both meaning to do something in secret so that taxes won’t be paid. Then again, maybe the speaker works in the basement of a library. A follow up question hopefully was made. A big thanks to John Costello for hearing this one.
If you liked this one, check out my book on malaphors, “He Smokes Like a Fish and other Malaphors”, available underneath on Amazon. https://www.amazon.com/dp/0692652205
This one was overheard in a conversation between a lawyer and the judge in a court proceeding. This is a nice congruent conflation of “a second bite of the apple” and “cracks at the bat”, both meaning additional opportunities. “Take a crack at (something)” (an attempt) is probably also in the mix. Perhaps the speaker was thinking of William Tell or maybe a pinata party. Kudos to Matin Pietrucha who heard this one and sent it in.
Adam Schiff, House Manager in the Trump Impeachment Trial, uttered this in response to the President’s counsel’s comment that witnesses would be endless and that the trial could drag on until the next election. Here is the context and the quote:
Taking up additional witnesses “could be done very quickly, effectively, we’ve never sought to depose every witness under the face of the sun,” Schiff later added, noting that a select four witnesses have been specified by House managers as “particularly appropriate and relevant” to their case.
This is a terrific congruent conflation of ” everything under the sun” and “on the face of the earth”, both meaning all things in existence, or everything one can reasonably imagine. The speaker apparently was thinking of the earth and the sun at the same time. A big thanks to Bruce Ryan for hearing this one and sending it in. Bruce has the ears of a hawk.