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You need to pull the cord

I unintentionally blurted this one out to someone who was thinking of getting rid of his cable service.  It is a mash up of “pull the plug” (to force something to end) and “cut the cord” (discontinue cable service).  Both expressions involve discontinuing something, hence the mix up.  This one also comes free with a public service message:  always pull the plug, not the cord!  Now do you see how useful and helpful this website is?

 

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Joe Biden needs to get out and shake the flesh

This one conjures up a scary/humorous image.  Former House Rep Joe Crowley (D-NY) (who was unseated by AOC) said this beaut on MSNBC today.  He was asked if he had any advice for the Biden campaign and this was his answer.  It is a congruent conflation of “press the flesh” and “shake hands and kiss babies”, both meaning to go out and meet as many people as possible.  Mike Kovacs, Chief Operating Officer for Malaphor Central, heard this one and sent it in immediately.  Mike noted that there are several cheap jokes embedded in this malaphor.  Crowley lost to AOC, who as many will remember shook the flesh in a great dance video.  Also, Mike queried whether Biden at his age could shake the flesh considering the loss of elasticity, but I believe that actually works to Joe’s advantage.


Baseball trades are like flipping the dice

This is a perfect malaphor, compliments from the sports world.  Jack Zduriencik uttered this one on the Pittsburgh Pirates pre-game show on 93.7 The Fan.  It is a congruent conflation of “flipping a coin” and “rolling the dice”, both meaning to rely on chance or purely at random.  Coins and dice are both used in games of chance, such as craps.  Of course if you flip the dice in a craps game, chances are you’ll be ejected.  A big thanks to John Kooser for hearing this gem.


Pelosi has all these Chairs on a tight rope

This one was found on the website The Daily Kos.  The writer was discussing how Nancy Pelosi controls the various House Subcommittees.  This is a nice blend of “walking a tightrope” (to do something with extreme care and precision) and “on a tight leash” (under someone’s strict control).  Both phrases have the word “tight” in them and “ropes” and “leashes” are similar items.  Also, both phrases entail exactness and control.  Here is the link to the malaphor:  https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2019/6/5/1862845/-NY-Offers-Chairman-Neal-Trump-s-Tax-Returns-Neal-Says-No-Thanks-Unbelievable

A tip of the hat to Barry Eigen who spotted this hidden creature in the word forest.


I was double-stabbed

The speaker was talking about someone at work who had requested something and then was later penalized for the exact thing.  It is a nice congruent conflation of “stabbed in the back” and “double-crossed”, both meaning to be betrayed.  A big thanks to Jamie for sharing this one, and who immediately recognized it was a malaphor!  Glad you shared it immediately, Jamie, as they quickly recede from the memory banks for some reason.


His experience as a POW drove tears into my eyes

This was in response to a picture of me and Hal Kushner on my Facebook page.  Tears for Hal Kushner, the Vietnam hero who is featured in Ken Burns’ Vietnam War series.  It is a congruent conflation of “moved (drove) me to tears” and “brought tears to my eyes”, both meaning to evoke a strong emotion.   If you don’t know about Dr. Kushner and his amazing story, watch the Burns series or check him out on google or YouTube.  A big thanks to my friend Rainer Reichelt for unintentionally writing this nice malaphor and driving tears into my eyes with laughter!

 


Joe Biden can’t count all the chickens before they roost

Zerlina Maxwell said this on MSNBC’s Hardball recently. She was speaking about Biden and that since 21 Dems are running (and counting),  he can’t be sure he will get the nomination.  Ms. Maxwell actually uttered this same malaphor last year when she was talking about Democrats avoiding calls for impeaching Trump.  Here was my post:

Zerlina Maxwell on MSNBC’s “Live with Katie Tur” uttered this beauty when she was talking about Democrats avoiding calls for impeaching Trump.  This is a barnyard mashup of “don’t count your chickens before they hatch” (don’t make future plans before they happen) and “chickens come home to roost” (you have to face the consequences of your mistakes).  “Chickens” of course are the culprit here, contributing to the mental yolk.  These  fowl phrases seem to get mixed up a lot  – see “Never count your eggs before they hatch (July 9, 2012 post) , and “Might the roosters be guarding the henhouse?” (August 2, 2014 post).  I was eggcited when several people laid this one on me.  First was the ubiquitous Mike Kovacs, followed quickly by James Kozlowski and Bob Maxwell (no relation).  Malaphor spotters are everywhere it seems.

https://malaphors.com/2018/08/27/they-dont-want-to-count-their-chickens-before-they-roost/

Zerlina, if you are following, please keep them coming.  We need to egg this process forward.  This is a favorite of mine.  The latest barnyard mashup was brought to you compliments of Beatrice Zablocki (“my ol’ pal”).