I got tired of the gyms getting thrown under the bridge

Gym owner Monty Webb was frustrated by the lockdown and decided to open.  He uttered this nice malaphor, a mashup of “throw (someone) under the bus” (to exploit someone’s trust for one’s own purpose) and “water under the bridge” (something happened in the past and it is not worth worrying about it now).   Here is the quote in context:

Gym co-owner Monty Webb of Plum said he’s had enough.

He and his wife, Linda, own and operate Webb’s World of Fitness in Penn Hills.

And he’s open for business.

“I opened because it’s essential. Your heath is essential,” Webb said. “I got tired of the gyms getting thrown under the bridge. You’re thanking all these essential businesses and essential workers. I’ve been doing this for 32 years. It’s essential.”

https://triblive.com/local/pittsburgh-allegheny/penn-hills-gym-reopens-despite-gov-wolfs-orders/

A big thanks to Mike Ameel for spotting this one and sending it in.


Rolling with the flow

The speaker was remarking that one of the strengths in her workplace was that her fellow workers are always rolling with the flow.  This is a congruent conflation of “rolling with the punches” and “going with the flow”, both expressions meaning to be able to deal with a series of difficult situations.   This malaphor is also the title of a nice Charlie Rich song, “Rollin’ with the Flow”.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hAQ96MAtGn8

A big thanks to Elly Pietrucha for sending this one in!


We’ll be walking a tightrope around coronavirus for some time

Paul Jackson, global head of asset allocation research at Invesco, was discussing investing amid the coronavirus crisis.  “We’ll be walking a tightrope around coronavirus for some time.”  This is a mashup of “walking a tightrope” (being extremely careful and precise) and “tiptoeing around” (avoiding confrontation).  Here is the link:  https://www.cnbc.com/video/2020/05/11/well-be-walking-tightrope-around-coronavirus-for-some-time-investor.html

A tip of the toque to Barry Eigen for spotting this one in the news wilds.  And yes, Barry, I found a circular tightrope (sorta).


Calm your jets

This was uttered by a driver who was being tailgated.  It is a congruent conflation of “calm down” and “cool your jets”, both meaning to tell someone to relax or be less intense.  In researching this one, I found out that “calm your tits” is another expression meaning to relax or be less intense, so perhaps the speaker was thinking of this one as well.  Anyone know if that is an American or British expression?  A big thanks to Martin Pietrucha who said this one and realized he had malaphored.


You’re picking hairs

A father and daughter got into an argument about their calico cat, and whether her markings were splotches or patches.  The daughter said her Dad was being trivial, and then uttered this malaphor.  It is a congruent conflation of “splitting hairs” and “nitpicking” or “picking (something) apart”, all meaning to make small or overfine distinctions.  Hope no one has trichotillomania. A shout out to a familiar name on this website, John Kooser (aka “the Dad”) for sending this one in.


Trump’s going to eat him apart

Two people were overheard talking about upcoming the 2020 presidential debates between Trump and Joe Biden. One person said of Trump: “Trump’s going to eat him apart….”  This is a nice congruent conflation of “eat him alive” and “tear him apart”, both meaning to overwhelm and defeat or dominate another.  “Eat his lunch” might also be in the mix, as it has the same meaning as the conflated idioms.  My guess is that Biden might be a little tough to chew.  A big thank you to Verbatim for sending this one in!


The chips are starting to crumble

This beauty was tweeted by Eric Trump a few days ago.  Here is the link to the tweet and malaphor responses:

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/eric-trump-confuses-cliches-reaction_n_5ebcf01dc5b628279b41e292

It is a mashup of “when the chips are down” (when a situation has become difficult) and “that’s the way the cookie crumbles” (accepting the way things happen even if it’s not what you wanted).  “let the chips fall as they may” (let a situation unfloed without worrying about the consequences) is probably also in the mix.  It’s possible Eric was staring at the end of a bag of potato chips when he tweeted this, where all that’s left is the crumbles.  Of course the best method to dispose of them is to tilt the bag to your mouth as the picture suggests (tip of the day!). Either that or Eric’s digits must have been greasy when typing that tweet.  A big thanks to Dave Wells and Lou Pugliese who sent this one it at the same time.