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Hang your heads high

This one jumped to the front of the queue, as it is very timely.  The speaker was discussing a recent NCAA mens’ basketball tournament game, and uttered this beauty about the Old Dominion University’s basketball game where they lost to Purdue in the first round.  The speaker tweeted:

Hang your heads high @ODUMensHoops. You all made us proud this season.  #MonarchMadness.  https://twitter.com/Brackintology/status/1108947588697317377

This is a nice incongruent conflation of “hang (one’s) head” (express shame or contrition) and “hold (one’s) head (up) high” (to display confidence and pride).  Perhaps the team is proud and ashame at the same time?  The mixup originates with the two similar sounding words, “hang” and “hold”.  A big thanks to Tom Justice who saw this one and sent it here to Malaphor Central.

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He’s crazy as a bat

You can guess who the speaker was referring to.  This is a nice congruent conflation of “crazy as a bedbug (or loon)” and “batshit crazy”, both describing someone who is insane.  “Bats in the belfry” also come to mind, although that is an old-fashioned phrase.  “Crazy like a fox” (clever) might have been in the mix, but I doubt it based on the person the speaker was referring to.  Hint:  he denigrates war heroes, and even when they’re dead.


He’s like a kid in a china shop

I heard this one from a neighbor.  She was talking about her husband’s love of gadgets, and that he recently received a new tool that he was crazy about.  This is an incongruent conflation of “like a kid in a candy shop” (so excited about something that they behave in a child-like way) and “like a bull in a china shop” (clumsily destructive).  The mixup derives from the similar sounding words “china” and “candy”, the word “shop” used in both phrases, and that the two phrases are equal in words and structure (“like a blank in a blank shop”).

 


That is a mixed sword

This unintended utterance is a nice congruent conflation of “mixed bag” and “double edged sword”, both referring to something that has benefits and problems.  Or maybe a Minecraft weapon?  A big thanks to Craig Ormson for uttering and sharing this one!


Right out of the get-go

This was heard on a podcast.  It is a nice congruent conflation of “from the get-go” and “right out of the gate” (immediately, right from the start).  Lots of alliteration in this one, contibuting to the mashup.  This is not a malaphor in Pittsburgh, however.  It means “just finished getting gas”.  A big thanks to Vicki Ameel-Kovacs for hearing this one!


It landed with a dud

This one was overheard at a meeting.  Someone was describing a failed product launch.  It is a congruent conflation of “landed with a thud” and “a dud”, both meaning something that did not work as intended, or was ineffective.  Of course dud and thud rhyme and sound alike, likely the source of the malaphor.  A big thanks to Peter Hopkins who heard this one and sent it in.


It’s a collusion witch hoax

This one is self-evident – spoken by Trump to the press on March 8 after the Manafort sentencing.  This is a conflation of “witch hunt” (an attempt to blame and punish people who hold unpopular views and opinions, often under the guise of some other investigation) and “hoax” (to trick into believing as genuine something false).  Maybe it was used intentionally as shorthand talk, like “Tim Apple”.  A big thanks to Frank King for spotting this timely one.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/video/politics/trump-its-a-collusion-witch-hoax/2019/03/08/973e41b1-cd99-45f0-b9ce-1246390c8248_video.html?utm_term=.8bd8aa0a86f9