I couldn’t pass it down
Posted: February 14, 2018 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: 937TheFan, expressions, humor, Josh Taylor, malaphor, malaphors, pass it up, turn it down, words 1 CommentJosh Taylor, weekend host of @937TheFan, a sports show in Pittsburgh, uttered this gem when discussing an opportunity that he didn’t think he had time for. It is a blend of “pass it up” (skip or ignore) and “turn it down” (to reject something). The directions “up” and “down” in the idioms no doubt caused the confusion. I have a hard time knowing what’s up and what’s down these days myself. A big thanks to John Kooser who spotted this one!
Something you really can’t pass down is my malaphor book, “He Smokes Like a Fish and other Malaphors”, now on Amazon for a cheap 6.99. Here is the link to non-stop hilarity: https://www.amazon.com/dp/0692652205
He’s not the brightest knife in the drawer
Posted: February 14, 2018 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, not the brightest bulb, not the sharpest knife in the drawer, words Leave a commentThis was spoken by a radio host describing a politician. It is a congruent conflation of “not the sharpest knife in the drawer” and “not the brightest bulb in the chandelier”, both describing someone who is not very intelligent. Other similar idioms include “he’s one fry short of a Happy Meal”, “the elevator doesn’t go to the top floor”, and my personal favorite, “somewhere there’s a village missing its idiot”.
This malaphor is similar to several other postings on the same theme including “not the brightest tool in the shed”. https://malaphors.com/2013/06/24/not-the-brightest-tool-in-the-shed/, and “not the sharpest bulb in the shed”, https://malaphors.com/2017/08/03/not-the-sharpest-bulb-in-the-shed/. Thanks to Verbatim for sending this one in!
I’m at my loose ends
Posted: February 4, 2018 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: at loose ends, at my wit's end, expressions, humor, malaphor, malaphors, words 1 CommentThis one is very subtle, as it is a conflation of “at loose ends” (uneasy) and “at my wit’s end” (in a state of distress where patience has been lost). Both idioms are very similar sounding, but only one as the word “my” in it. A big thanks to Lisa Simpson for hearing this one and sending it in to the Malaphors page on Facebook. Join the page today!
Keep your eyes in your pants
Posted: February 3, 2018 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, humor, keep your hands to yourself, keep your pecker in your pants, language, malaphor, malaphors, words 1 CommentThis advice was offered by one gym rat warning another about spending too much time looking at the women in the gym. It’s a conflation of “keep your hands (or eyes) to yourself” and “keep your p**ker (d**k) in your pants”, both meaning to refrain from touching or gawking at another. This malaphor seems timely in light of the #metoo movement. Perhaps a new slogan? A big thanks to Verbatim for sharing this one.
They are talking through a complete hole in their head
Posted: February 1, 2018 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, need it like a hole in the head, off the top of my head, Scotch, Wall Street Journal, words Leave a commentThis one comes from a Wall Street Journal article about Scotch Whisky: “Whoever is saying that is talking through a complete hole in their head.” https://www.wsj.com/articles/if-youre-a-purist-about-scotch-whisky-you-might-find-this-hard-to-swallow-1516728633?mod=e2tw. This is a mashup of “needing something like a hole in the head” (to have absolutely no need for something) and probably “talking through (one’s) hat” (saying foolish things, or bluffing, boasting). “Off the top of (one’s) head” (from memory; without much careful consideration) might be in the mix, but since the word “through” is used I would bet on the former. Another thanks to frequent malaphor contributor Barry Eigen for spotting this one!
They are trying to rattle his tree
Posted: January 30, 2018 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, MSNBC, rattle his cage, Robert Torricelli, shake his tree, Stephanie Ruhle, Trump, words Leave a comment
Let’s couch that until next week
Posted: January 29, 2018 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: couch in, expressions, humor, malaphor, malaphors, table the motion, wordplay, words 1 CommentA topic that was prematurely addressed was mentioned at a staff meeting. The response was the above malaphor. It is a nice mashup of “table that” (postpone the discussion of something at a meeting) and “couch (something) in (something)” (express something in clearly chosen or deceptive words). The speaker was apparently getting his furniture mixed up in his mind. A big thanks to Joel Friend who uttered this one and sent it in.
We don’t want you breathing down our back
Posted: January 27, 2018 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: breathing down our necks, expressions, get off my back, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, New York times, words Leave a commentThis mashup was found in an article in the January 21, New York Times magazine section, titled “They want to destroy us”. It is a conflation of “breathing down (one’s) neck” (monitor closely, usually in an overbearing way) and “get off my back” (stop harassing me). Invading one’s space is the common denominator in the two idioms and probably was the cause of the confusion. A big thanks to Barry Eigen who spotted this one, and commented that “it’s certainly hard to picture this happening unless the recipient of the breathing has no shirt on.” Agree.
We’ve jumped over the last hoop
Posted: January 23, 2018 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: 30 Nights, clear a hurdle, expressions, humor, jump through hoops, malaphor, malaphors, words Leave a commentHoops and hurdles seem to confound folks, given the many malaphors posted involving these words. This one was uttered by a film producer exclaiming that the last legal step was completed in order to distribute a film. It is a nice congruent conflation of “jumping through hoops” and “clearing a hurdle”, both meaning to overcome obstacles to achieve a goal. This one is similar to “we still have a lot of hurdles to jump through (https://malaphors.com/2013/08/05/we-still-have-a-lot-of-hurdles-to-jump-through/) and “we have so many hurdles to cross” (https://malaphors.com/2014/02/15/we-have-so-many-hurdles-to-cross/) And who can forget “he bent over hoops for me” (https://malaphors.com/2016/02/19/he-bent-over-hoops-for-me/). By the way, the speaker was Tom W. Metz III, who is currently producing his first full length picture, 30 Nights! Check it out @30NightsMovie. A big thanks to Lou Pugliese for hearing this one and sharing it.
They are kicking the can down the table
Posted: January 22, 2018 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Chuck Schumer, cnn, come to the table, expressions, humor, kick the can down the road, language, malaphor, malaphors, Trump, words Leave a commentSimilar to the last post, this is another “kick the can down the road” malaphor. Chuck Schumer, Senate Minority Leader, said this one on CNN. He was explaining why he did not want to pass a CR. This is a mashup of “kick the can down the road” (to postpone or defer an action) and I think “come to the table”(to meet to negotiate a particular issue or situation). My guess is that Schumer combined these two thoughts as he is currently negotiating a deal to stop the government shutdown. New Yorkers talk faster than their thoughts. A big thanks to Beatrice Zablocki for hearing this one.
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