I’m not the sharpest tack in the drawer

The speaker was not feeling well and mentioned to someone about her mental acuity for the day.  This is an incongruent conflation (opposite meanings) of “not the sharpest knife in the drawer” (not very smart) and “sharp as a tack” (intelligent and quick thinking).  As everyone knows, there are many expressions out there describing the dull witted individual, and these expressions are often mixed up.  I have posted several of these mashups, including “not the brightest tool in the shed”,  https://malaphors.com/2013/06/24/not-the-brightest-tool-in-the-shed/,  “not the sharpest bulb in the shed”, https://malaphors.com/2017/08/03/not-the-sharpest-bulb-in-the-shed/, and “not the brightest knife in the drawer”, https://malaphors.com/2018/02/14/hes-not-the-brightest-knife-in-the-drawer/,  to name just a few.  A big thanks to Yvonne Stam for admitting she uttered this one and realizing it was a malaphor.


He’s not the brightest knife in the drawer

This was spoken by a radio host describing a politician.  It is a congruent conflation of “not the sharpest knife in the drawer” and “not the brightest bulb in the chandelier”, both describing someone who is not very intelligent.  Other similar idioms include “he’s one fry short of a Happy Meal”, “the elevator doesn’t go to the top floor”, and my personal favorite, “somewhere there’s a village missing its idiot”.

This malaphor is similar to several other postings on the same theme including “not the brightest tool in the shed”.  https://malaphors.com/2013/06/24/not-the-brightest-tool-in-the-shed/, and “not the sharpest bulb in the shed”, https://malaphors.com/2017/08/03/not-the-sharpest-bulb-in-the-shed/.   Thanks to Verbatim for sending this one in!


You’re not the brightest toolbox in the shed

While talking to his cat (everyone does that, right?), malaphor follower Ian told him “You’re not the brightest toolbox in the shed.”  As usual, I’m sure Ian’s cat looked at him like HE was the idiot.   This is a triple congruent conflation of “not the sharpest tool in the shed”, “not the sharpest (or brightest) crayon in the box”, and “not the brightest bulb in the chandelier (or “not the brightest”), all meaning someone who is not very intelligent.  Other similar idioms include “not the sharpest knife in the drawer”, “he’s one fry short of a Happy Meal”, “the elevator doesn’t go to the top floor”, and my personal favorite, “somewhere there’s a village missing its idiot”.

Finally, this malaphor is similar to my June 24, 2013 posting, “not the brightest tool in the shed”.  https://malaphors.com/2013/06/24/not-the-brightest-tool-in-the-shed/  Thanks to Ian for sending this one in!

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