The government pulled the wool over him
Posted: December 21, 2018 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Ali Velshi, expressions, humor, malaphor, Matt Apuzzo, MSNBC, pulled one over on him, pulled the wool over his eyes, Trump, wordplay, words Leave a commentOn the Ali Velshi MSNBC show, Matt Apuzzo was talking about General Flynn and that some believe the government tricked him. He then uttered this nice malaphor, which is a congruent conflation of “pull the wool over (one’s) eyes” and “pull one over on him”, both meaning to trick or deceive. The operative word here is “pull” which appears in each idiom. A big thanks to Hawk-eared Frank King for hearing this gem.
Whatever turns your boat
Posted: December 15, 2018 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: books, humor, language, malaphor, whatever floats your boat, whatever turns you on, wordplay Leave a commentOverheard at a WalMart at midnight: two women were talking about another woman’s unusual outfit and one of them uttered this classic malaphor. It is a congruent conflation of “whatever floats your boat” and “whatever turns you on”, both meaning whatever makes you happy. The phrases both begin with “whatever”, and with boats capsizing, you can see where the confusion arises. A big thanks to John Kooser who heard this one while doing some midnight shopping.
If you enjoyed this one, and are thinking about how to fill that Christmas stocking, why not get the malaphor book, “He Smokes Like a Fish and other Malaphors”? It’s available on Amazon for a cheap 7.99. Makes a great addition to any bathroom.
Beat the iron while it’s hot
Posted: December 12, 2018 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: beat it to the punch, expressions, humor, malaphor, malaphors, strike while the iron is hot, The Ranking Academy, wordplay, words 2 CommentsThis beauty comes from a video tutorial on Getting Google Reviews. It is a nice mashup of “strike while the iron is hot” (to make most of an opportunity or favorable conditions while one has the chance to do so) and “beat (someone) to the punch” (to do something before someone else does). Both idioms involve doing something early. A big thanks to Frank King for seeing this one and passing it on. Shout out to The Ranking Academy for giving us this blooper. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCopSeO4OPWd5M9zzPhA6qpg
He’s a wild cannon
Posted: December 10, 2018 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, humor, loose cannon, malaphor, malaphors, wild card, wordplay, words 2 CommentsWe will be able to put all the dots in a row
Posted: December 6, 2018 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Chris Hayes, connect the dots, expressions, get your ducks in a row, humor, Jackie Speier, malaphor, malaphors, MSNBC, Mueller, Trump, wordplay, words Leave a commentJackie Speier (D-CA) uttered this nice malaphor on the All In with Chris Hayes show on MSNBC (11/28/18). Here is the context: “and I have no doubt in my mind that we will at some point, when the Mueller investigation is over, be able to put all the dots in a row and draw a line through them.” This is a congruent conflation of “get your ducks in a row” (organize your affairs) and “connect the dots” (to understand something by piecing together bits of information). “Dots” and “ducks” sound alike and the idea of connecting dots is similar to a row. A big thanks to Mike Kovacs for hearing this one.
It’s better than a kick in the eye with a sharp stick
Posted: November 7, 2018 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: a kick in the pants, better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick, humor, language, malaphor, wordplay, words Leave a commentThis is a mashup of the phrases “better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick” (better than nothing) and “kick in the pants” (message or gesture that acts as motivation for the recipient). Kicking and poking are confused here. Or maybe the speaker was saying just do something to get motivated? A big thanks to Eric for sending this one in!
It’s on a slippery scale
Posted: November 5, 2018 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, humor, language, malaphors, sliding scale, slippery slope, The View, wordplay, words Leave a commentThis one was uttered on the t.v. show The View. The contributor was sitting in a doctor’s office and heard it on the t.v. that was above her head. This is a nice mashup of “slippery slope” (a behavior or action will lead to a worse form of the same behavior or action) and “sliding scale” (a system in which the rate at which something is paid changes as a result of other condition). “Slopes” and “scales” are six letter words starting with s and sound somewhat similar, which I think is the cause of this malaphor. Both phrases also describe something that changes as a result of another action. A big thanks to Vicki Ameel-Kovacs for hearing this one and passing it on. She has the ears of a hawk!
Tarred with the same feather
Posted: July 1, 2018 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: humor, language, malaphor, tarred and feathered, tarred with the same brush, wordplay, words Leave a commentThis is a super mashup of “tarred and feathered” (to excoriate or criticize someone in a humiliating and public manner) and “tarred (painted) with the same brush” (unfairly judge or categorize as being the same as someone, usually in a negative manner). Both idioms refer to a negative action against another. They also both have the word “tar” in them, which is probably the cause of the mental hiccup. Also, brushes can be composed of hairs, which may have led the mind back to the word “feather”. A big thanks to Michael Boyette for hearing this one and sending it to my Facebook page, Malaphors.
He’s not the brightest fish in the shed
Posted: March 10, 2018 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: humor, idioms, malaphor, malaphors, not the only fish in the sea, wordplay, words Leave a commentIn the continuing series on malaphors describing those who are not very intelligent, I give you this “three way malaphor”. It is a tri-mashup of “not the sharpest tool in the shed” and “not the brightest bulb in the chandelier”, both describing someone who is not very smart, combined with “not the only fish in the sea” (plenty of other suitable persons). I have posted multiple variations of this subject in the past, including “not the brightest knife in the drawer”, “not the brightest bulb in the shed”, and “not the sharpest bulb in the shed”. It just shows that we may want to look in the mirror every once in awhile. A big thanks to Kimberly Gorgichuk for hearing this one and passing it on.
Let’s couch that until next week
Posted: January 29, 2018 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: couch in, expressions, humor, malaphor, malaphors, table the motion, wordplay, words 1 CommentA topic that was prematurely addressed was mentioned at a staff meeting. The response was the above malaphor. It is a nice mashup of “table that” (postpone the discussion of something at a meeting) and “couch (something) in (something)” (express something in clearly chosen or deceptive words). The speaker was apparently getting his furniture mixed up in his mind. A big thanks to Joel Friend who uttered this one and sent it in.
Malaphors 
Recent Comments