I slept like a dog last night

Dogs sleep pretty soundly, but this is definitely a malaphor.  It is a mash up of “slept like a log (or baby)” (restful sleep)  and “let sleeping dogs lie” (do not instigate trouble).  Nice mix up as it involves assonance (log, dog, and lie, like) and similar words in the phrases (sleep, dog).  This beauty was uttered by John Costello, one of my roving malaphor reporters!

Beschreibung Sleeping dog 98a.jpg


He was trying to woo her over

This is a mash up of “woo her” (to seek the affection of someone) and “win her over” (to succeed in making someone favorable to something).  Perhaps “pull the wool over her eyes” (to deceive someone) is also in the muddled brain mix.  This is one I uttered a couple of days ago that my wife caught.  As with all good malaphors, they are quickly forgotten, so I wrote it down immediately.


The business side always throws you a loop

Sometimes it’s those nasty little prepositions that cause the mix up.  In this case, backup point guard Andre Miller, talking about his desire to return to the Washington Wizards, said this nice congruent conflation.  See http://bleacherreport.com/articles/2080250-andre-miller-38-says-he-has-a-lot-more-years-left-before-retiring-from-nba  It is a mash up of  “throws you for a loop”  and “throws you a curve,” both meaning something unexpected that upsets or confuses someone.  I also think the imagery of someone tossing a life preserver into the water is in play here.   A big thanks to Mike Browning for spotting this subtle but excellent malaphor!

 

 


I don’t know what kinda gun she’s been smoking

Okay.  Yes, this was actually unintentionally said on the Maury show last week.  Husband was being accused of kissing his wife’s girlfriend and having an affair behind her back.  The husband denied the accusation and said this malaphor about his wife to Maury.  This is a mash up of “smoking gun” (indisputable sign of guilt) and “what have you been smoking?” (rhetorical question implying that the person is acting strange).  There may be a freudian element here, as the husband might be admitting guilt through the use of a malaphor.  Or maybe I am reading into this more than I should.  A big thank you to John Hatfield for hearing this one!


That’s a hot potato issue

Last week Samantha Guthrie from the Today Show, in responding to a controversial topic, uttered this malaphor.  It is a mash up of “hot potato”  (something that is difficult to deal with) and “hot button issue” (an issue that people feel strongly about).  A malaphor salute to Mike Kovacs for spotting this one.


Don’t wake up a sleeping dog

Here is another beaut from the sports world.   Miami Heat center Chris Bosh, commenting on Lance Stephenson of the Pacers trash-talking Lebron James said,  “Don’t wake up a sleeping dog. That’s a lesson I learned a long time ago.”   This is a great mash-up of “let sleeping dogs lie” (leave something alone that may cause trouble) and “don’t wake a sleeping giant”   (something powerful that is not dangerous unless provoked).  Confusion lies in the common word “sleeping” and that some dogs can be dangerous if provoked.   A big shout out to Justin Taylor for catching this one!  Reference is below:
Source here: http://articles.sun-sentinel.com/2014-05-25/sports/fl-miami-heat-main-0526-20140525_1_lebron-james-lance-stephenson-stephenson-and-james

It’s cold as hell outside

This is a jumble of several phrases, including “hot as hell”, “cold as shit”, and “it will be a cold day in hell when…” (unlikely event).  This oxymoron malaphor is fairly common, considering the above expressions and the mixing of temperatures in the brain.  Thanks to Sid Sher for sending this in and admitting he said it!


You had to figure out what you were going to do on a dime’s notice

Steve Grieme, one of the best malaphor spotters around, heard a beauty on CNN last week.  A guy was videotaping some of the raging wildfires in Southern California.  In response to a reporter’s question about people fleeing from their homes, he said, “Fight of flight. You had to figure out what you were going to do on a dimes notice”.  This is a congruent conflation of “moment’s notice” and “be prepared to turn on a dime”, both meaning to act quickly.  Thanks Steve!

http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/1405/17/cnr.03.html


It’s not an air shut case

This wonderful mix up was heard at a training seminar.  The instructor was indicating that discrimination lawsuits are not always straightforward and then proceeded to combine “air-tight case” and “open-and-shut case”, both meaning straightforward situations without complications.  The speaker may also have been thinking of air lock doors that seal out air completely, found in airplane exit doors.  This is a great example of a congruent conflation, mixing two closely defined phrases.  A big shout out to Bill Shaffer for sending this one in to Malaphor HQ!

exit door on an airplane this picture of an emergency exit door ...


Let’s float a carrot

This was heard on a conference call in reference to a price proposal that would be presented to a customer.  It is a mash up of  “float an offer or idea” (present something informally to see if people are interested) and “dangle a carrot” (encourage someone with an incentive).  By the way, carrots do float (I think).   This beauty was heard by my chief roving malaphor reporter Mike Kovacs.  Of course I thank him profusely.