The President calls the ball

Posted: August 13, 2018 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments
This delightful malaphor was uttered by Secretary of State Pompeo during a Senate hearing.  He was responding to a number of comments regarding the President’s rhetoric being inconsistent with what his subordinates are actually doing.  Here is the context:
“You basically have two different foreign policies in the United States, you have the foreign policy of the Trump administration and you have the foreign policy of President Trump himself,” historian Max Boot told CNN’s Brooke Baldwin on Thursday.
“What the President says and does is ultimately more important that what people underneath him are doing,” he continued. “They are not getting a unity of purpose and they are not getting a consistent message out because the President is completely at odds with his own government.”
Administration officials dismiss such commentary, either denying there is a gap between the President and his subordinates or insisting that he alone sets administration policy.
Pompeo faced repeated variations of this question during a fiery Senate Foreign Relations Committee hearing last month.
“The President calls the ball. His statements are in fact policy,” Pompeo said. “This President runs this government. His statements are in fact US policy.”  https://www.cnn.com/2018/08/03/politics/russia-election-interference-white-house-response-trump/index.html
This is a congruent conflation of “calls the shots” and “has the ball”, both meaning to be in command to make decisions.  “Calls the play” might also be in the mix.  My guess is that the speaker was also thinking of the idiom “calls the strikes and balls”, again meaning to make the decisions (like an umpire in baseball).  A shout out to Vicki Ameel-Kovacs for hearing this one on MSNBC and sharing it.

Trump held Michael Cohen at arm’s distance

Posted: July 23, 2018 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

This ditty was uttered on July 20 by Stephanie Ruhle on MSNBC’s “Velshi and Ruhle”.  It is a nice congruent conflation of “at arm’s length” and “keep at a distance”, both meaning to keep someone from becoming too close.  Perhaps a “distance” is farther than an “arm”?  I imagine that fits in this context.  A big thanks to Frank King, the Mental Health Comedian, for hearing this one and sending it in.

They really had to think on their toes

Posted: July 21, 2018 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , | 4 Comments

This malaphor comes courtesy of a local Birmingham Alabama news story about firemen rescuing people caught in a flash flood.  A fireman said:  “ The firefighters really had to think on their toes due to the changing conditions. “  This is an excellent example of a congruent conflation, mixing “think on (one’s) feet” and “be on your toes”, both meaning to be alert and react quickly.  Obviously the mix here is “toes” and “feet”.  A big thanks to David Stephens who was on his toes for this one.

He’s turning over a new lease on life

Posted: July 20, 2018 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

This perfectly formed malaphor is a mashup of “turning over a new leaf” (to change one’s behavior, usually in a positive way) and “a new lease on life” (a new chance for happiness, usually after a hardship).   “New” is common to both idioms, and the words “lease” and “leaf” are similar sounding.  Both I think contributed to the mental mix up.  A big thanks to Martin Pietrucha for sharing this one with the malaphor world.

If you liked this malaphor you’ll love my book on the subject, “He Smokes Like a Fish and other Malaphors”, available on Amazon for a cheap $6.99.  A must for every bathroom library.

He pulls those hat tricks out of the bag

Posted: July 10, 2018 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments
This awesome conflation was uttered by Lane Johnson, Philadelphia Eagles right tackle, talking about his quarterback Carson Wentz.  A lot is going on in this malaphor.  “A bag of tricks” (skills one is able to use) and “pull a trick (on someone)” (to carry out a trick) are both in the mix, as well as “pull a rabbit out of the hat” (to do something that is seemingly impossible), the latter which is probably what the speaker was looking for.  The beauty of this one is that he adds “hat trick” (same player scores three goals in a hockey game), applying a hockey term to football.  Here is the link to this mash up:
https://theeagleswire.usatoday.com/2018/06/25/eagles-qb-carson-wentz-ranked-no-3-on-nfl-networks-top-100/

A big thanks to Jim Kozlowski for spotting this one and sending it in.  A classic for sure.

They are not putting all their marbles in one basket

Posted: July 3, 2018 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

This one is from the ESPN show “Pardon the Interruption” (PTI).  There was a discussion about the Lakers and LeBron James’ free agency. Michael Wilbon reported that Magic Johnson [the Lakers’ director of basketball operations] stated that they are not putting all their marbles in one basket. Even Tony Kornheiser then pointed out to Michael that it should have been eggs, not marbles.  This is a nice conflation of “for all the marbles” (all the winnings, spoils, or rewards) and “put all your eggs in one basket” (to invest all of one’s energy in a single venture).  Marbles resemble eggs and vice versa so this is probably the reason for the mix up.  A big thanks to Gerry Abbott for hearing this one and sending it in.

If you liked this malaphor, check out THE book on malaphors, “He Smokes Like a Fish and other Malaphors”, available on Amazon at https://www.amazon.com/dp/0692652205.   Buying it is like putting all your malaphors in one basket.

He was drunk out of his ass

Posted: June 28, 2018 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I love this one.  This was overheard outside a bar.  It is a mashup of “drunk off his ass” (very intoxicated) and “out of his mind” (crazy).  Crazy drunk?  Upside down?  A big thanks to Anthony Kovacs for hearing this one and sending it in!

I need to catch my bearings

Posted: June 25, 2018 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A person was getting overwhelmed trying to do too many things at once.  He then blurted out that “I need to stop and catch my bearings.”  This is a mashup of “get my bearings” (figure out one’s position relative to one’s surroundings) and “catch my breath” (relax, take a break).  “Bearings” and “breath” start with a “b”, causing the malaphor.  Also, both phrases indicate someone pausing before proceeding.  A big thanks to John Kooser for hearing this one and passing it on.

If you enjoyed deconstructing this mixup you will love my book on malaphors, “He Smokes Like a Fish and other Malaphors”, available on Amazon.  Catch your bearings and then head to your computer to order it for a cheap 6.99.

Will it pay fruit?

Posted: June 23, 2018 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

“The Master of Malaphors” Chris Matthews said this beauty on his show on June 13, talking about Cohen possibly flipping on Trump.  It is a congruent conflation of “pay off”, “pay dividends”, and “bear fruit”, all meaning to yield positive benefits or results. Let the flipping begin, and see the many bananas and apples appear.

By the way, loyal followers might cry foul on this one as I posted this malaphor last November.  https://malaphors.com/2017/11/22/our-hard-work-is-finally-starting-to-pay-fruit/  True, but when “The Master” speaks, I must post.  A big thanks to “Hawkear” Frank King for hearing this one.

Shudder in its tracks

Posted: June 20, 2018 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

This was found in the Ars Technica website, a site covering news and opinions in technology, science, and politics.  Here is the full quote:

“That ruthlessly efficient system helped bubonic plague kill nearly 25 million people and made the ancient world shudder in its tracks during the Justinian plague of 541–542.”  https://arstechnica.com/science/2018/06/4000-year-old-genomes-point-to-origins-of-bubonic-plague/

It is a conflation of “shudder to think” (afraid to think about something as it may be unpleasant) and “stop/freeze/halt (someone or something)(dead) in its tracks” (suddenly stop because something has frightened or surprised you).  Considering the context, the author might have been thinking about death and the word “dead” may have been floating around in the head, spewing out “in its tracks”.  A big thanks to Barry Eigen for spotting this one.  Barry said the malaphor also reminded him of the expression “shaking (shivering) in their boots”.  Me too!

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