By the nick of their teeth
Posted: February 17, 2018 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: by the skin of my teeth, expressions, humor, in the nick of time, language, malaphor, malaphors, words 1 CommentThis is a nice congruent conflation of “in the nick of time” and “by the skin of their teeth” (just barely). “Skin” and “nick” are both four letter words with a “k” and an “n”. Kudos to Curioussteph for uttering this one unintentionally and sending it in.
He’s not the brightest knife in the drawer
Posted: February 14, 2018 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, not the brightest bulb, not the sharpest knife in the drawer, words Leave a commentThis was spoken by a radio host describing a politician. It is a congruent conflation of “not the sharpest knife in the drawer” and “not the brightest bulb in the chandelier”, both describing someone who is not very intelligent. Other similar idioms include “he’s one fry short of a Happy Meal”, “the elevator doesn’t go to the top floor”, and my personal favorite, “somewhere there’s a village missing its idiot”.
This malaphor is similar to several other postings on the same theme including “not the brightest tool in the shed”. https://malaphors.com/2013/06/24/not-the-brightest-tool-in-the-shed/, and “not the sharpest bulb in the shed”, https://malaphors.com/2017/08/03/not-the-sharpest-bulb-in-the-shed/. Thanks to Verbatim for sending this one in!
Keep your eyes in your pants
Posted: February 3, 2018 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, humor, keep your hands to yourself, keep your pecker in your pants, language, malaphor, malaphors, words 1 CommentThis advice was offered by one gym rat warning another about spending too much time looking at the women in the gym. It’s a conflation of “keep your hands (or eyes) to yourself” and “keep your p**ker (d**k) in your pants”, both meaning to refrain from touching or gawking at another. This malaphor seems timely in light of the #metoo movement. Perhaps a new slogan? A big thanks to Verbatim for sharing this one.
They are talking through a complete hole in their head
Posted: February 1, 2018 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, need it like a hole in the head, off the top of my head, Scotch, Wall Street Journal, words Leave a commentThis one comes from a Wall Street Journal article about Scotch Whisky: “Whoever is saying that is talking through a complete hole in their head.” https://www.wsj.com/articles/if-youre-a-purist-about-scotch-whisky-you-might-find-this-hard-to-swallow-1516728633?mod=e2tw. This is a mashup of “needing something like a hole in the head” (to have absolutely no need for something) and probably “talking through (one’s) hat” (saying foolish things, or bluffing, boasting). “Off the top of (one’s) head” (from memory; without much careful consideration) might be in the mix, but since the word “through” is used I would bet on the former. Another thanks to frequent malaphor contributor Barry Eigen for spotting this one!
They are trying to rattle his tree
Posted: January 30, 2018 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, MSNBC, rattle his cage, Robert Torricelli, shake his tree, Stephanie Ruhle, Trump, words Leave a comment
We don’t want you breathing down our back
Posted: January 27, 2018 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: breathing down our necks, expressions, get off my back, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, New York times, words Leave a commentThis mashup was found in an article in the January 21, New York Times magazine section, titled “They want to destroy us”. It is a conflation of “breathing down (one’s) neck” (monitor closely, usually in an overbearing way) and “get off my back” (stop harassing me). Invading one’s space is the common denominator in the two idioms and probably was the cause of the confusion. A big thanks to Barry Eigen who spotted this one, and commented that “it’s certainly hard to picture this happening unless the recipient of the breathing has no shirt on.” Agree.
They are kicking the can down the table
Posted: January 22, 2018 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Chuck Schumer, cnn, come to the table, expressions, humor, kick the can down the road, language, malaphor, malaphors, Trump, words Leave a commentSimilar to the last post, this is another “kick the can down the road” malaphor. Chuck Schumer, Senate Minority Leader, said this one on CNN. He was explaining why he did not want to pass a CR. This is a mashup of “kick the can down the road” (to postpone or defer an action) and I think “come to the table”(to meet to negotiate a particular issue or situation). My guess is that Schumer combined these two thoughts as he is currently negotiating a deal to stop the government shutdown. New Yorkers talk faster than their thoughts. A big thanks to Beatrice Zablocki for hearing this one.
That issue always seems to get kicked down the can
Posted: January 20, 2018 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, Harris Faulkner, humor, kick at the can, kick the can down the road, language, malaphor, malaphors, words 1 Comment
You are lemmings to the slaughter
Posted: January 19, 2018 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, humor, lambs to slaughter, language, like lemmings, malaphor, malaphors, words Leave a commentSometimes comments on Facebook produce great malaphors. This one is no exception. It was uttered by an anti-vaxxer accusing everyone of not knowing or wanting to know the “truth”. It is a mashup of “lambs (or pigs) to the slaughter” (innocently and helplessly, without realizing the danger) and “like lemmings” (doing things without fear or thought). Both idioms concern large numbers usually, and both refer to people who really aren’t thinking but merely following. I suppose when lemmings jump over the cliff they are going to their “slaughter”. A big thanks to Cassandra Anne who spotted this one on her facebook feed.
Now Sloppy Steve has been dumped like a dog
Posted: January 10, 2018 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Donald Trump, dropped like a hot potato, dumped, expressions, Fire and Fury, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, Michael Wolff, Steve Bannon, whipped like a dog, words Leave a comment#3 in the “Fire and Fury” malaphor series. This one comes courtesy of the President of the U.S. Donald Trump, in one of his twitters responding to the book, “Fire and Fury”. He says:
“Michael Wolff is a total loser who made up stories in order to sell this really boring and untruthful book. He used Sloppy Steve Bannon, who cried when he got fired and begged for his job. Now Sloppy Steve has been dumped like a dog by almost everyone. Too bad!” https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/949498795074736129
“Dumped like a dog” is a conflation of “dropped like a hot potato” (to abandon someone or something suddenly), “dumped” (to reject), and “like a whipped dog” (ashamed because you have been defeated). The latter seems particularly appropriate given the context. Of course, dogs do take “dumps” which may have been in the speaker’s mind. A big thanks to David Barnes for sniffing this one out.
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