JFK was a duck in a barrel

Picture of President Kennedy in the limousine ...

Picture of President Kennedy in the limousine in Dallas, Texas, on Main Street, minutes before the assassination. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This phrase mixes “sitting duck” (someone vulnerable to an attack)  and “shooting fish in a barrel” (ridiculously easy).  A big thanks to Michael Ameel for hearing this one on a radio program recently about the Kennedy assassination.  An expert on the show indicated that JFK was an easy target, and blurted out this malaphor.   It is similar to the 1/16/13 entry, “It’s like shooting ducks in a barrel”.


I’ve got nothing to hide but the truth

Perhaps this malaphor should be categorized as a “freudian slip malaphor”, as it was uttered by a person under oath.   It combines the phrase “I have nothing to hide” and the end of the witness oath in which one swears to tell the truth, the whole truth and “nothing but the truth.”  It might also apply to politicians these days.  Thanks to John Costello for sending this beauty in!


The company’s stock price is through the moon

In the conclusion to a report today regarding the Tesla Motor Car Corp. CNN news host Erin Burnett described the company’s stock price for the year as being “…through the moon…”  This wonderful malaphor is a mash up of the phrases “through the roof” (prices very high) and “over the moon” (extremely pleased).   Jackie Gleason’s famous line, “to the moon, Alice!” might also have been on Ms. Burnett’s mind.  Many thanks to David Spain for sending this one in and attaching the video with concluding malaphor below:

http://www.cnn.com/video/data/2.0/video/us/2013/11/19/erin-tell-tesla-car-under-federal-investigation.cnn.html?iref=allsearch


I think it’s time he laid down the torch

English: Dick Lebeau with Mr. and Mrs. John Mi...

English: Dick Lebeau with Mr. and Mrs. John Mitchell (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This was uttered near the end of the first half of the Steelers/Lions game, and was directed at Dick LeBeau, the Steelers’ defensive coach.  Considering the context (Steelers blowing a lead and the defense not playing well), I believe this is a mash up of “lay down the law” (to scold someone)  and “carry the torch” (to lead or participate).  “Throw down the gauntlet” (to challenge someone) might also be in the mix.  Thanks to Kevin Hatfield for hearing this one and sending it in!


He dug himself into a corner

This congruent conflation mixes the phrases “paint oneself in a corner” and “dig yourself into a hole”, both meaning an action that puts a person in a difficult situation.  Kudos to Eric Marsh for sending this one in.  He could not recall where he heard this one, but it could be referring to either the Republicans strategy of shutting down the government or President Obama’s statement that people can keep their existing health care coverage.  Take your pick.


He’s a wet fish

This great malaphor is a blend of”wet blanket” and “cold fish”, both reflecting rather sour personalities, the former a depressing person who spoils others’ enjoyment, and the latter a person who does not seem very friendly and shows little emotion.  Fish of course are always wet (unless grilled I suppose) which may have been in the speaker’s mind as well.  For some reason a dead fish handshake also seems in play here.  I personally am going to start using this expression as there are people out there who fit both categories.  John Costello gets the kudos for this one, as he unintentionally uttered this malaphor when he was describing a person who is kind of a dour drip.  I hope it wasn’t me!


He was able to pick himself up and scrape himself off

Another from the sports world.  Molly Shafer heard this one on her local sports cast referring to a Buffalo Bills injury – “Could it be serious? It could be, but he was able to pick himself up and scrape himself off.”   This is a nice blend of “pick yourself up” and “dust yourself off”, both meaning to prepare yourself to continue doing something that you unexpectedly stopped doing.  “Scrape someone or something off the pavement” may also be in the mix. Thanks for sharing Molly!


Just a wild stab

Malaphors appear everywhere, and this one appeared as a response to one of my malaphor postings.  When I posted “I will not yield to a monkey court”,  my good friend and avid malaphor follower Laszlo Veres responded, “was he talking to his fellow Dems? (just a wild stab… wait…wow, I just invented a malaphor!”).   Wild stab is a mash up of “wild guess” and “take (or make) a stab”.   The unintentional malaphor response to a malaphor makes this one a particular favorite of mine!


Count your losses

fried green tomatoes

fried green tomatoes (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This beauty comes from Sarah Hodges:  “My husband and I were discussing the coming frost and my still-green
tomatoes
. He told me to “count my losses” and just pick them green.”    This is a mash up of “cut your losses” (do something to stop further losses) and I believe “count your blessings” (grateful for any small benefit, particularly in a difficult situation).  Hey, a green tomato is better than no tomato, right?


Elephant poaching is over the roof

African Elephant (Loxodonta africana) in Pitts...

African Elephant (Loxodonta africana) in Pittsburgh Zoo (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This malaphor combines two expressions concerning high numbers –  “through the roof” (increasing very quickly) and “over the top”.  Barbara Baker, President and CEO of the Pittsburgh Zoo, made this comment in reference to the increase in elephant poaching.  Many thanks to Sam Edelmann who heard this on the radio last week.