That really took the starch out of my sails

This is a conflation of several phrases.  The speaker was talking about his near death experience while cycling, so “it knocked the starch out of me” (to be beat up severely) may be in the mix, but I think the better phrase is “it took the starch out of me” (it made me tired or weak) as he was scared.  The other phrase is probably “it knocked the wind out of my sails” (heavy blow to the body) rather than “taking the wind out of my sails” (challenging someone’s boasting or arrogance).  A big shout out to Tom Justice for sending this one in!


Put the metal on the gas

This is a congruent conflation of “put the pedal to the metal” and “step on the gas”, both meaning to speed up.  I heard this one on a tv sports show uttered by Wally Szczerbiak.  He was discussing at halftime that the team behind needed to step it up.

Wally Szczerbiak - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia


That will bring some skeletons crawling out of the woodwork

This is a delightful mixture of “skeletons in the closet” (secrets) and “crawling out of the woodwork” (secrets coming out in the open).  The confusion lies in the two phrases referring to secrets and exposing them.   I heard this in a conversation but I cannot reveal the source as I was sworn to secrecy.  We can’t have these malaphors crawling out of the woodwork, can we?


We have so many hurdles to cross

This is a mash up of “clear a hurdle” (overcome an obstacle) and I think “rivers to cross” , borrowed from the great Jimmy Cliff song “Many Rivers to Cross”, based on the context of the malaphor.   “Crossed the Rubicon” (taken action with no return) also comes to mind.  “Jumping through hoops” (to do extra things to get what you want) might also be in the mix, confusing hoops and hurdles.  Thanks to Sam Edelmann for spotting this one!

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/02/12/sports/football/for-nfl-prospect-michael-sam-upbringing-was-bigger-challenge-than-coming-out-as-gay.html?_r=3

 

Jimmy Cliff. | reggae singles sleeves


Wake up and smell the roses

This common malaphor (many hits on the internet) is a mixture of “wake up and smell the coffee” (try to pay attention to what is going on), “come up smelling like a rose” (succeeding from a bad situation) and “stop and smell the roses” (enjoy what’s around you).  The latter was a title to a 1974 hit song by Mac Davis.  This malaphor is similar to “please stop and smell the daisies” published on August 30, 2013.  Many thanks to Sam Edelmann for unintentionally uttering this one and passing it along!

Mac Davis - Stop And Smell The Roses Records, CDs and LPs


Throwing red meat on the fire

This great mash up of “adding fuel to the fire” (making matters worse) and “throwing red meat” (appease or excite followers) was just heard on the local NPR station, WESA.   The speaker may have been thinking of old Boy Scout days of dangling meat on a campfire.   Certainly in most cases red meat needs to be cooked, so it makes sense that the two phrases were mixed up in the recesses of the brain.   The mind is like a big cookie jar, and sometimes when you pull a cookie out it breaks, and you are left with halves of two different cookies.  That is what we do with idioms and phrases, on occasion, and the result is a delectable malaphor.  A big thanks to Rob Blackburn for sending this one in!

Red meat


When all the balls are in line

Christopher Dolan, the California lawyer who is representing the McMath family who has a brain dead daughter, said regarding litigation against the hospital,  “What we needed to know is that when all the balls are in line that we could move quickly and not have to then have any impediments.”  This is a mash up of “ducks in a row” and “fall in line”, both meaning to have things properly organized.  “Stars aligned” might also be in the mix as that phrase also means things happen in an organized way and also line rhymes with aligned.   Also “many balls in the air” might be at play since the speaker used the word balls and was referring to many things happening, although not at once.  Thanks to Ron Marks for sending this one in!

http://edition.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/1401/04/ndaysat.01.html


Let’s roll up our hands and all get together

Howard Fineman on the tv show “Hardball” said a few days ago that Congress’s attitude will not be “let’s roll up our hands and let’s all get together” on various issues.  This is an amusing mixture of several thoughts, including “roll up our sleeves” (prepare for hard work), “get your hands dirty” (involve yourself in all parts of a job), and “joining hands” (working together), the latter sort of a “kumbaya” approach to working.  Rolling up one’s hands is similar to the Master’s wonderful malaphor, “Let’s roll up our elbows and get to work!” (see posting dated 7/30/12).  Many thanks to “my ol’ pal” for spotting this one and sending it in!


Gem in a haystack

This is a mash up of “needle in a haystack” (something extremely hard to find) and “hidden gem” (an undiscovered talent or place).  The phrase actually is a great one in context, where a trip advisor reviewer was relating how he had discovered a great restaurant:

http://www.tripadvisor.com/ShowUserReviews-g60805-d396943-r188849786-Matthew_s-Jacksonville_Florida.html

Thanks to Lou Pugliese for sending this one in!


I want to go on the table

The speaker, Trey Compton, was wanting to “go on record” but instead uttered this wonderful malaphor, a mash up of “go on record”  (official statement) and “put your cards on the table” (candid statement).  Then again, knowing Trey, maybe he really wanted to go on a table?  Thanks to Trey Compton for sending this one in!

Trey Compton