She raked his name over the coals

My wife interrupted one of my rants the other night to point out that I had uttered a malaphor.  Of course I immediately stopped blabbering and wrote it down.  This one is a bit subtle, combining “rake him over the coals” (to scold) and “drag his name through the mud” (disparage someone publicly).  One positive about getting older is that it comes with more malaphors.


I think I have put in my stripes

Subtlety makes the best malaphor.  When spoken, you pause and consider if  the phrase was correct.  It is a passing thought, because you will quickly forget it.  Today’s malaphor fits that bill.  The speaker was explaining why he should retire.  It is a mash up of “earned my stripes” and “put in my time”, both meaning hard work that deserves an award.  Kudos to Ed Brady for sending me this congruent conflation!


He’s three sheets in the bag

Couldn’t wait until next week to post this beauty.  This is another congruent conflation (mixed idioms with the same or similar meaning), combining “three sheets to the wind” and “half in the bag”, both describing someone who is intoxicated.  The confusion might also lie in sheets sometimes being in laundry bags?  Then again, the speaker, Lisa Davies O’Donnell, might have just had a few too many…  Thanks Lisa for contributing to the malaphor library!

foster.png?w=600&h=0&zc=1&s=0&a=t&q=89


I fall asleep at the drop of a dime

This wonderful congruent conflation is a mash up of  “at the drop of a hat” and “stop on a dime”, both meaning an action done instantly.  Drop and stop are four letter words that rhyme, adding to the befuddlement.  This beauty was heard at a court hearing.  Kudos to Sam Edelmann for sending this one into Malaphor central!


I don’t know what kinda gun she’s been smoking

Okay.  Yes, this was actually unintentionally said on the Maury show last week.  Husband was being accused of kissing his wife’s girlfriend and having an affair behind her back.  The husband denied the accusation and said this malaphor about his wife to Maury.  This is a mash up of “smoking gun” (indisputable sign of guilt) and “what have you been smoking?” (rhetorical question implying that the person is acting strange).  There may be a freudian element here, as the husband might be admitting guilt through the use of a malaphor.  Or maybe I am reading into this more than I should.  A big thank you to John Hatfield for hearing this one!


You had to figure out what you were going to do on a dime’s notice

Steve Grieme, one of the best malaphor spotters around, heard a beauty on CNN last week.  A guy was videotaping some of the raging wildfires in Southern California.  In response to a reporter’s question about people fleeing from their homes, he said, “Fight of flight. You had to figure out what you were going to do on a dimes notice”.  This is a congruent conflation of “moment’s notice” and “be prepared to turn on a dime”, both meaning to act quickly.  Thanks Steve!

http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/1405/17/cnr.03.html


And I’ve only jumped through the first one of these hurdles

This malaphor is similar to my posting of August 5, 2013 but bears repeating.  This is a wonderful mix of “jump through hoops” (do everything possible to please or obey someone) and “clear a hurdle” (overcome an obstacle).  The confusion lies with hoops and hurdles, things you jump through and jump over.  It was spoken by Chelsea Manning (formerly Bradley Manning) on announcing her name change.  Here is the context:

“Unfortunately, the trans* community faces three major obstacles to living a normal life in America: identity documentation, gender segregated institutions, and access to healthcare. And I’ve only just jumped through the first one of these hurdles.”

http://www.chelseamanning.org/featured/chelsea-mannings-statement-on-her-legal-name-change

Many thanks to Guy Patterson for spotting this malaphor!

How Chelsea Manning sees herself -portrait by Alicia Neal

 

 

 


She should face the piper

This is a wonderful congruent conflation of “face the music” and “pay the piper”, both meaning to accept the sometimes unpleasant results of an action.   I saw this in a website called “Expertlaw”:

“Our 13 year old was caught stealing a necklace retailing for $4.50. We are so shocked and disappointed by her actions. In addition, we are unsure what to do or what to expect in terms of prosecution, etc. We feel she should face the “piper” but we hope that it is tempered or that the punishment will fit the crime. We have taken personal action but have no idea what we should/could expect from the Michigan courts. Can you provide some idea? Thanks”

http://www.expertlaw.com/forums/showthread.php?t=10572

There also is a quote attributed to the basketball player Tim Hardaway – “I was always taught if you do something, face the piper.  Try to make it right.”    So let’s go do something today and face the piper!


You knew that you struck lightning

This is a nice mash up of “lightning strikes” and “struck gold”, the latter meaning to hit it big.   This gem was heard on the Howard Stern show this morning during an interview with Dan Rather.  Stern asked Rather about the 1968 Democratic Convention where he was physically assaulted on camera.  Rather continued to report on the story despite the assault.  Stern said to Rather, “you knew that you struck lightning.”  Rather then repeated the malaphor as he continued discussing the incident.   A big thanks to Mike Kovacs for spotting this one!

Howard Stern Radio Personality Howard Stern attends an


He really blew the boat

The speaker was referring to someone who had missed a big opportunity.  This is a congruent conflation of “missed the boat” and “blew his chance”, both meaning to miss an opportunity.  For some reason, “flew the coop” also comes to mind because of the rhyming of “flew” and “blew”.  Nothing else comes to mind.  A big shout out to Naomi David for sending this one in!