We were 3 sheets passing in the night

A neighbor’s elderly aunt said this beauty, referring to an inebriated group.  This is a mash up of “three sheets to the wind” (drunk) and “two ships passing in the night” (people who are rarely in the same place at the same time).  The speaker apparently got her numbers mixed up.  She also could have been thinking about the group “passing out” and thus mixed the phrases.  Anyway, sounds kinky.  A big thanks to John Polk, who is also a big fan of wordplay.  You can follow him on Twitter – @ClichesGoneWild.

He’s three sheets in the bag

Couldn’t wait until next week to post this beauty.  This is another congruent conflation (mixed idioms with the same or similar meaning), combining “three sheets to the wind” and “half in the bag”, both describing someone who is intoxicated.  The confusion might also lie in sheets sometimes being in laundry bags?  Then again, the speaker, Lisa Davies O’Donnell, might have just had a few too many…  Thanks Lisa for contributing to the malaphor library!