She called me every name under the book
Posted: May 3, 2017 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: called her every name in the book, called her every name under the sun, expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, Rebecca, Return to Amish, TLC, words Leave a commentThis was uttered by Rebecca on the TLC t.v. show “Return to Amish”. It is a nice congruent conflation of “every name under the sun” and “every name in the book”, both meaning calling someone almost every name you can imagine. A tip of the hat to Vicki Kovacs for hearing this one. Mike, her husband, asked if this was the first Amish malaphor posted and I believe it is. Congrats Mike!
This malaphor came from the television world. An entire chapter of my book “He Smokes Like a Fish and other Malaphors” is devoted to malaphors found in television. The book is available on Amazon for an inexpensive $6.99! Cheap thrills indeed.
She will probably saute down about 10 o’clock
Posted: April 28, 2017 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, sashay, saunter, saute, words 1 CommentThis was said when a couple thought they would see another colleague. At first I thought it was a malaprop and not a malaphor, as the speaker was replacing sashay with saute. But since the word “down” was used, which is commonly coupled with ‘saunter”, I am convinced it is a word blend of “sashay” (walk in an ostentatious yet casual manner) and “saunter” (walk in a slow, relaxed manner), although saute is an actual word and word blends are more like portmanteaus – see explanation of the difference between a portmanteau and a single word malaphor – https://malaphors.com/2013/02/02/portmanteaus-and-single-word-malaphors/. A big thanks to Kevin Ross for hearing this one and passing it on!
You may want to take your foot off the throat a little bit
Posted: April 27, 2017 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, full throttle, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, put your foot on the gas, words Leave a commentA faculty member was cautioning a student who was putting together a very aggressive class schedule and uttered this malaphor, although it might be a malaprop. I think it is a congruent conflation of “put your foot on the gas” and “going full throttle”, both meaning to move very quickly. “Throat” is perhaps a malaprop of “throttle” in this instance. “Ram something down someone’s throat” (to force something upon someone) might be in the mix considering it was spoken in the academic world. “Put (one’s) foot in (one’s) mouth” (to say something foolish or embarrassing) might also be in play, as the throat is certainly in the mouth. A big thanks to Lou Pugliese who heard this one and passed it on!
He wasn’t the brightest bulb in the basket
Posted: April 25, 2017 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: don't put all your eggs in one basket, expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, not the brightest bulb, words Leave a commentThis is another in the collection of what I call “Idiom Overloads”. It is a mashup of “not the brightest bulb in the pack (or chandelier)” (slow-witted or dull person) and I think “don’t put all your eggs in one basket” (don’t focus all your attention on one thing). The speaker was probably imagining a bulb in his mind but eggs also look a little like bulbs. Since many of the idioms describing dull or stupid people have an “in the (blank)” part of the phrase he then added “in the basket.” “Basket case” (emotionally unstable person) also may be in the mix.
The various sayings describing a dimwit are similar sounding and involve something in a unit or package that is unique, hence the confusion. I call this phenomenon “idiom overload”. I have posted other variations on this theme – see https://malaphors.com/2015/12/07/youre-not-the-brightest-toolbox-in-the-shed/ and https://malaphors.com/2013/06/24/not-the-brightest-tool-in-the-shed/.
Also see https://malaphors.com/2016/03/04/hes-not-the-sharpest-light-bulb-in-the-pack/
Another example of idiom overload is describing the obvious: “is the Pope Catholic?”. “Does a bear shit in the woods?” etc. These get mixed up regularly. A tip of the hat to Josh Berry for hearing this one and sending it on!
He’s really ahead of the eight ball
Posted: April 24, 2017 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: ahead of the curve, Baltimore Sun, behind the eight ball, expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, words 2 CommentsThis was found in Baltimore’s newspaper, the Baltimore Sun. A player at the Univ. of Maryland said of his teammate, “For someone so young, he’s really ahead of the eight ball.” This is a nice mashup of “ahead of the curve” (at the forefront of leading something) and “behind the eight ball” (in trouble or in a weak or losing position). “Behind” and “ahead” are certainly part of the problem here, but also the speaker may have been thinking of a curve ball in baseball. And of course, in eight ball, you certainly want to be ahead of it when making your shots. A big thanks to Larry Mason who spotted this beauty.
You’re gunning your wheels
Posted: April 22, 2017 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, gunning an engine, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, spinning your wheels, words Leave a commentThis was uttered by the submitter’s wife. It is a mashup of “spinning your wheels” (use a lot of effort but not getting anything done) and “gunning your engine” (to race an engine). My guess is that the speaker was thinking of spinning wheels which led to cars which led to gunning an engine. Many thanks to Sam Edelmann who heard this and passed it along!
I would not trust that with a barge pole
Posted: April 21, 2017 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Dave and Phil, expressions, Golf with Friends, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, words, would not touch him with a barge pole, would not trust him if I could throw him Leave a commentThis malaphor was uttered in the You Tube video “Two Sandy Balls”. You can hear the mixed idiom at about 14:05 in the video. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xIKPD0l7HYA
It is a nice mashup of “wouldn’t touch that with a barge pole” (do not want to become involved with something or someone in any way) and “would not trust him as far as I could throw him” (don’t trust someone at all). “Trust” and “touch” are similar sounds and are the source of the confusion here, I think. Interestingly, the idiom “would not touch someone with a barge pole” is an idiom heard in the U.K. or in Australia. In the U.S, that expression is “wouldn’t touch him with a ten foot pole”. Barge poles were used to push barges, and were ordinarily about ten feet long. A big thanks to Albie Winter for hearing this one and passing it along!
If you liked this malaphor you will LOVE the book, “He Smokes Like a Fish and other Malaphors”, available on Amazon (UK and Australia as well!).
It’s better than a kick in the eye with a stick
Posted: April 19, 2017 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick, expressions, humor, kick in the pants, kick up the ass, language, malaphor, malaphors, words Leave a commentThis tortured saying scrambles “a kick in the pants (or kick up the ass/arse)” (to do or say something to motivate someone who is lazy) and “better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick” (better than nothing). Kick and stick rhyme, creating the confusion. Also poke and kick are similar assaults on the body. A big thanks to Ezz for hearing this from a colleague who apparently utters unintentional idiom blends on a frequent basis. Keep ’em coming, Ezz!
He may have sealed his death warrant
Posted: April 17, 2017 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, Roman Reigns, sealed his fate, signed his own death warrant, The Undertaker, words, WWE Raw Leave a commentThis classic was heard on WWE Raw the other night. Roman Reigns speared the Undertaker. The announcer, sensing that the ‘Taker was mad, said Reigns may have “sealed his death warrant.” This is a mashup of “sealed his fate” (determining finally the fate of someone) and “signed his own death warrant” (to cause one’s own destruction). I suppose death warrants are signed, sealed, and delivered, and maybe the speaker had that on his mind. A big thanks to John Kooser for hearing this one and sending it on!
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