I don’t have a dog in this race

Posted: March 17, 2018 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments
This nice, subtle malaphor was heard on Bill Simmons’ sports podcast.  Simmons was talking with another NFL commentator about how every off season different teams/franchises make terrible decisions related to overpaying quarterbacks in free agency (such as Case Keenum, Sam Bradford, Kirk Cousins signing w/the Broncos, Cardinals, Vikings respectively this week).  He’s a Patriots fan, so he concluded by saying he doesn’t “have a dog in this race” (doesn’t care about any of these teams or quarterbacks personally), but just thinks it’s maddening to see teams making the same mistakes year after year.  This is a congruent conflation of “don’t have a dog in the hunt” and “don’t have a horse in this race”, both meaning to not have a vested interest in something.  The speaker might be a fan of dog races, hence the mix up.  In any event, this is a classic malaphor.  Many thanks to Justin Taylor for hearing this one and passing it on.
Any vested interest in seeing more malaphors?  Check out my book, “He Smokes Like a Fish and other Malaphors”, available on Amazon today for a cheap $6.99.   Unless you don’t have a dog in this race…..

I put my motivation on the back seat

Posted: March 8, 2018 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

This jumble was spoken by someone who was relating that she had no been motivated in the past but was now ready to move forward.  It is a mashup of “on the back burner” (postponed or suspended) and “take a back seat” (occupy an inferior position; allow another to be in control).  Both idioms contain the word “back”, causing I suspect the confusion.  Not sure I have left my motivation on the back seat of the car, but certainly my wallet and sunglasses.  A big thanks to Lynn Hannula Johnson for hearing this one and sending it in.

She’s the bread earner

Posted: March 3, 2018 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The speaker was talking about a couple and their finances.  It is a nice congruent conflation of “breadwinner” and “wage earner”, both referring to the person whose earnings are the primary support for his/her dependents.  Of course, “bread” is slang for money, so bread earner makes a lot of sense (cents?) to me.  A big thanks to Elaine Hatfield for sharing this one.

Looking for a mechanic that won’t try to pull the fleece over my head

Posted: March 1, 2018 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

This was posted on a neighborhood site in Baltimore looking for recommendations.  It is a congruent conflation of “fleece” and “pull the wool over my eyes”, both meaning to cheat or deceive.  Lots going on here in the recesses of the brain.  Fleece as a noun is a lightweight jacket, so the idea of pulling it over one’s head makes sense.  A fleece is also the woollen coat of a domestic sheep, so the speaker might have been thinking of wool and fleece at the same time.  Using the word as a noun but thinking of it as a verb makes this a very interesting malaphor.  Also, eyes are part of the head so the mixing of these body parts were clearly in the speaker’s brain.  A big thanks to Larry Mason for spotting this one and sharing it.

This may not be the cross I want to die on

Posted: February 28, 2018 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

There was a discussion about due process errors in a law office, and this was uttered by someone who didn’t think they were worth fighting for.  It is a congruent conflation of the military expressions “not the hill to die on” and “fall on (one’s) sword”, both meaning something so important it must be dealt with.  While the word “sword” does not appear in the malaphor, my guess is that the speaker was thinking of a sword when he said “cross”, as the sword looks like a cross.  Also there might be some Christian symbolism of dying on a cross wrapped up in this one.  A big thanks to Yvonne Stam for hearing this one and passing it on.

I need to clear my chest

Posted: February 23, 2018 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

This one was heard on the TLC t.v. show, “My 600 lb. Life”.  In context, it is a congruent conflation of “clear the air” and “get it off my chest”, both meaning to discuss or otherwise confront a troubling situation.   Certainly weighing 600 pounds could be a troubling situation.  Of course, taken literally, one may want to try a steam shower or an inhaler for really nasty chest congestion.   A big thank you to regular malaphor contributor Mike Kovacs!

She needs to pull a trick out of her hat

Posted: February 22, 2018 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

This was uttered by the play by play commentator for the women’s cross country skiing race at this year’s Winter Olympics. It is a nice mash up of “trick up her sleeve” (secret advantage) and “pull a rabbit out of her hat” (to do something surprising or seemingly impossible).  Both idioms concern the element of surprise, and both involve tricks or magic.  A big thanks to Jake Holdcroft for hearing this one and passing it on!

By the nick of their teeth

Posted: February 17, 2018 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

This is a nice congruent conflation of “in the nick of time” and “by the skin of their teeth” (just barely).  “Skin” and “nick” are both four letter words with a “k” and an “n”.  Kudos to Curioussteph for uttering this one unintentionally and sending it in.

 

He’s not the brightest knife in the drawer

Posted: February 14, 2018 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

This was spoken by a radio host describing a politician.  It is a congruent conflation of “not the sharpest knife in the drawer” and “not the brightest bulb in the chandelier”, both describing someone who is not very intelligent.  Other similar idioms include “he’s one fry short of a Happy Meal”, “the elevator doesn’t go to the top floor”, and my personal favorite, “somewhere there’s a village missing its idiot”.

This malaphor is similar to several other postings on the same theme including “not the brightest tool in the shed”.  https://malaphors.com/2013/06/24/not-the-brightest-tool-in-the-shed/, and “not the sharpest bulb in the shed”, https://malaphors.com/2017/08/03/not-the-sharpest-bulb-in-the-shed/.   Thanks to Verbatim for sending this one in!

Keep your eyes in your pants

Posted: February 3, 2018 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

This advice was offered by one gym rat warning another about spending too much time looking at the women in the gym.  It’s a conflation of “keep your hands (or eyes) to yourself”  and “keep your p**ker (d**k) in your pants”, both meaning to refrain from touching or gawking at another.   This malaphor seems timely in light of the #metoo movement.  Perhaps a new slogan?  A big thanks to Verbatim for sharing this one.

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