I need to clear my chest
Posted: February 23, 2018 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: clear the air, expressions, get it off my chest, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, my 600 lb. life, TLC, words Leave a commentThis one was heard on the TLC t.v. show, “My 600 lb. Life”. In context, it is a congruent conflation of “clear the air” and “get it off my chest”, both meaning to discuss or otherwise confront a troubling situation. Certainly weighing 600 pounds could be a troubling situation. Of course, taken literally, one may want to try a steam shower or an inhaler for really nasty chest congestion. A big thank you to regular malaphor contributor Mike Kovacs!
She needs to pull a trick out of her hat
Posted: February 22, 2018 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: cross country ski, expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, pull a rabbit out of my hat, trick up my sleeve, Winter Olympics, words Leave a commentThis was uttered by the play by play commentator for the women’s cross country skiing race at this year’s Winter Olympics. It is a nice mash up of “trick up her sleeve” (secret advantage) and “pull a rabbit out of her hat” (to do something surprising or seemingly impossible). Both idioms concern the element of surprise, and both involve tricks or magic. A big thanks to Jake Holdcroft for hearing this one and passing it on!
By the nick of their teeth
Posted: February 17, 2018 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: by the skin of my teeth, expressions, humor, in the nick of time, language, malaphor, malaphors, words 1 CommentThis is a nice congruent conflation of “in the nick of time” and “by the skin of their teeth” (just barely). “Skin” and “nick” are both four letter words with a “k” and an “n”. Kudos to Curioussteph for uttering this one unintentionally and sending it in.
I couldn’t pass it down
Posted: February 14, 2018 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: 937TheFan, expressions, humor, Josh Taylor, malaphor, malaphors, pass it up, turn it down, words 1 CommentJosh Taylor, weekend host of @937TheFan, a sports show in Pittsburgh, uttered this gem when discussing an opportunity that he didn’t think he had time for. It is a blend of “pass it up” (skip or ignore) and “turn it down” (to reject something). The directions “up” and “down” in the idioms no doubt caused the confusion. I have a hard time knowing what’s up and what’s down these days myself. A big thanks to John Kooser who spotted this one!
Something you really can’t pass down is my malaphor book, “He Smokes Like a Fish and other Malaphors”, now on Amazon for a cheap 6.99. Here is the link to non-stop hilarity: https://www.amazon.com/dp/0692652205
He’s not the brightest knife in the drawer
Posted: February 14, 2018 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, not the brightest bulb, not the sharpest knife in the drawer, words Leave a commentThis was spoken by a radio host describing a politician. It is a congruent conflation of “not the sharpest knife in the drawer” and “not the brightest bulb in the chandelier”, both describing someone who is not very intelligent. Other similar idioms include “he’s one fry short of a Happy Meal”, “the elevator doesn’t go to the top floor”, and my personal favorite, “somewhere there’s a village missing its idiot”.
This malaphor is similar to several other postings on the same theme including “not the brightest tool in the shed”. https://malaphors.com/2013/06/24/not-the-brightest-tool-in-the-shed/, and “not the sharpest bulb in the shed”, https://malaphors.com/2017/08/03/not-the-sharpest-bulb-in-the-shed/. Thanks to Verbatim for sending this one in!
I’m at my loose ends
Posted: February 4, 2018 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: at loose ends, at my wit's end, expressions, humor, malaphor, malaphors, words 1 CommentThis one is very subtle, as it is a conflation of “at loose ends” (uneasy) and “at my wit’s end” (in a state of distress where patience has been lost). Both idioms are very similar sounding, but only one as the word “my” in it. A big thanks to Lisa Simpson for hearing this one and sending it in to the Malaphors page on Facebook. Join the page today!
Keep your eyes in your pants
Posted: February 3, 2018 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, humor, keep your hands to yourself, keep your pecker in your pants, language, malaphor, malaphors, words 1 CommentThis advice was offered by one gym rat warning another about spending too much time looking at the women in the gym. It’s a conflation of “keep your hands (or eyes) to yourself” and “keep your p**ker (d**k) in your pants”, both meaning to refrain from touching or gawking at another. This malaphor seems timely in light of the #metoo movement. Perhaps a new slogan? A big thanks to Verbatim for sharing this one.
They are talking through a complete hole in their head
Posted: February 1, 2018 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, need it like a hole in the head, off the top of my head, Scotch, Wall Street Journal, words Leave a commentThis one comes from a Wall Street Journal article about Scotch Whisky: “Whoever is saying that is talking through a complete hole in their head.” https://www.wsj.com/articles/if-youre-a-purist-about-scotch-whisky-you-might-find-this-hard-to-swallow-1516728633?mod=e2tw. This is a mashup of “needing something like a hole in the head” (to have absolutely no need for something) and probably “talking through (one’s) hat” (saying foolish things, or bluffing, boasting). “Off the top of (one’s) head” (from memory; without much careful consideration) might be in the mix, but since the word “through” is used I would bet on the former. Another thanks to frequent malaphor contributor Barry Eigen for spotting this one!
They are trying to rattle his tree
Posted: January 30, 2018 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, MSNBC, rattle his cage, Robert Torricelli, shake his tree, Stephanie Ruhle, Trump, words Leave a comment
Let’s couch that until next week
Posted: January 29, 2018 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: couch in, expressions, humor, malaphor, malaphors, table the motion, wordplay, words 1 CommentA topic that was prematurely addressed was mentioned at a staff meeting. The response was the above malaphor. It is a nice mashup of “table that” (postpone the discussion of something at a meeting) and “couch (something) in (something)” (express something in clearly chosen or deceptive words). The speaker was apparently getting his furniture mixed up in his mind. A big thanks to Joel Friend who uttered this one and sent it in.




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