We’ll burn that bridge when we come to it

This malaphor, popularized by Jimmy Buffett, is a mash up of “we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it” (don’t worry about something that has not happened) and “burn your bridges” (permanently end relationships).

JIMMY BUFFETT
“Burn That Bridge”
 I’m not saying I’m scared of you

But your love is something new
When I hold you we’re swaying in the wind
Of all the bridges I’ve ever crossed
High and lonesome and wild and lost
I feel this time I’ll take it to the end
We don’t care what the people may say
If there’s a price it’s the price we’ll pay

[Chorus:]
And we’ll burn that bridge when we come to it
Burn that bridge when we come to it
Burn that bridge when we come to it
Burn it down
Burn it down

We’ve both done our share of runnin’ around
Now we know enough to know the kind of love
we’ve found
It’s the real thing and we’ve got to see it through
I’m a singer and a sailor on a midnight sea
Oh captain come and take me on your fantasy
If we’re crazy that ain’t nothin’ new
‘Cause we don’t care what the people may say
If there’s a price it’s the price we’ll pay and

[Chorus]

Who knows how it started
Who knows it’s ends
The point of no return is waiting
just around the bend

[Chorus]

Burn That Bridge


It’s like shooting ducks in a barrel

This is a mash up of “shooting fish in a barrel” (easy action with guaranteed success) and “all your ducks in a row” (getting everything in order), submitted by a loyal follower, the TruroTattler.   Given the enormous amount of google hits, this is a common malaphor, as ducks appear to be as easy a target as fish.  Also shooting mechanical ducks in a penny arcade shooting gallery is certainly playing on the mind in this one.


The last book I read was a real page burner

This congruent malaphor is a mash up of “page turner” and “barn burner”, both meaning something very exciting.   I like this one as it seems to stand on its own, describing a book that is so compelling that you seem to “burn” through it.    Then again,  it could mean something totally different for those fascist minded folks out there….


It takes a lot to take the air out of my sails

This was uttered by a guy who was frustrated by a spin class:

Maybe I Signed Up for Karaoke Instead of Spin by Accident?

It takes a lot to take the air out of my sails, but an unimpressive spin class will do that to me right quick. I actually felt bad that I’d made a friend come with me to this class because it was a pretty uninspiring way to spend 45 minutes. I have a limited amount of time to dedicate to my fitness regime: I don’t have time to ef around like this…

http://blog.rateyourburn.com/blog/post/2012/09/24/class-review-the-ride-with-danielle-wettan-crunch.aspx

This is a mash up of “take the wind out of my sails” (feel less confident) and “let the air out of my tires” (make someone depressed).  I think he meant the latter.  See also a previous malaphor – “he took the thunder out of my sails”.


Don’t rock the apple cart

This congruent malaphor mixes the similar meaning phrases “upset the apple cart” and “rock the boat”.    A good example of the use of this malaphor is in a description of an Upper West Side apartment for rent:

“Minimum Age Limit For Renters : If you are coming to NYC for a big party weekend, this is probably not your place. I have fabulous neighbors and there is a great, great staff and take great care to not rock the apple cart.”

http://www.vrbo.com/216973


If the tables were reversed…

I heard this one on the radio last week.  In context, the speaker was clearly wanting to say “if the roles were reversed”, but instead mixed in “tables were turned” (to cause a reversal in one’s plans).  The confusion lies in the similar words reverse and turn.  Also the idioms have similar meanings, but as “my ol’ pal” points out, “tables were turned” means getting even with someone while roles were reversed has a broader connotation.


You’re barking up the wrong alley

This is a conflation of “barking up the wrong tree” (making the wrong choice) and “up a blind alley” (at a dead end).  The confusion seems to lie in the shared word “up”, and that both idioms describe frustration and negativity.  “Right up my alley” may also be in play here, juxtaposing wrong and right.  And lets not forget those dogs that bark incessantly in alleys.


It’s time to swallow the bullet

This is a mix up of “bite the bullet”  and “bitter pill to swallow”, both having similar meanings – reluctantly accepting something unpleasant.  “My ol’ pal” correctly told me not to  forget “swallow your pride”, which also refers to doing something you would rather not do and so is probably on the speaker’s mind as well.   As we approach the fiscal cliff, I think some folks need to swallow the bullet and make those hard choices they were elected to do.


That’s the way the cookie bounces

English: A Pepperidge Farm "Nantucket&quo...

English: A Pepperidge Farm “Nantucket” cookie. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This is a straightforward malaphor, mixing “that’s the way the cookie crumbles” and “that’s the way the ball bounces”, both meaning you can’t control everything that happens to you.   It also could describe the rejects from cookie exchanges this time of year.


He put a burr in her bonnet

This is a confused conflation of “have a burr under his saddle” (irritated by something) and “put a bee in her bonnet” (give someone an idea), contributed by Steve Grieme.  Perhaps the speaker was thinking of an irritating idea?  Or could it possibly be a confusion of burrs and bees?  I remember that song – “Let me tell you ’bout the burrs and the bees, and the flowers and the trees”….