He really threw a monkey wrench into that fire

My dear friend Cindy W.  said when she said this one, everyone looked at her like she had “four heads”.  This terrific malaphor thus is a 4 head winner.  It is a mash up of “throw a monkey wrench in (something)” (to cause something to fail) and “throw gas (or fuel) on the fire” or “out of the frying pan into the fire” (both meaning make a bad situation worse),  or even “several irons in the fire” (a number of possibilities).

English: Line art drawing of a monkey wrench.

English: Line art drawing of a monkey wrench. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

English: vervet monkey in the Kruger NP

English: vervet monkey in the Kruger NP (Photo credit: Wikipedia)


He is turning around a new leaf

My daughter said this one yesterday and immediately texted me (I have malaphor hunters everywhere).  This is a conflation of  “turning around” and “turn over a new leaf”, both meaning to change.  Here is a great example using the malaphor:

Oprah Winfrey has dropped 25 pounds on her new diet!! After launching her OWN network and a subsequent battle against low ratings Oprah packed on some pounds. This year however the media mogul is turning around a new leaf and hired a new chef.”

http://www.popularcritic.com/2012/06/20/oprah-winfreys-weight-loss-plan-revealed/


When it boils down to it

Martin, a professor at a famous university, saw this in a paper he was reviewing and shared it with me.  It is a mash up of “when it comes right down to it” and “boils down to (something)”.  It also is in a headline in that very popular website, justkateplus8.com:

When it boils down to it,isn’t Kate Gosselin a good-looking woman?

http://justkateplus8.com/when-it-boils-down-to-itisnt-kate-gosselin-a-good-looking-woman/


The kids don’t have to be rocket surgeons

This beauty was said by Tennessee State Senator Stacey Campfield on CNN last week.  In response to Martin Bashir‘s question of why tying welfare benefits to children’s grades wouldn’t hurt the family overall, Sen. Campfield said, “the kids don’t have to be rocket surgeons.”  This is a nice mash up of “brain surgeon” and “rocket scientist”.  Thanks to Sam for finding this one replayed on the Jay Leno show!  The exchange is in the link below:

rocket surgeon


Portmanteaus and single word malaphors

English: Illustration to the poem Jabberwocky....

English: Illustration to the poem Jabberwocky. A work by English illustrator Sir John Tenniel (1820-1914). First published in Carroll, Lewis. 1871. Through the Looking-Glass, and What Alice Found There. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

As you can see from the subject line, I am not delivering a malaphor of the day.  I thought I would sprinkle a few hopefully interesting discussions about malaphors and other wordplay issues on my blog.

Someone asked me if my word blend malaphors are actually portmanteaus. I don’t think so. The main difference is that a portmanteau is an intentional word blend while a malaphor is unintentional.  There are other differences:

A portmanteau is a combination of two (or more) words or morphemes, and their definitions, into one new word. A portmanteau word generally combines both sounds and meanings, as in smog, coined by blending smoke and fog. More generally, it may refer to any term or phrase that combines two or more meanings, for instance, the term “wurly” when describing hair that is both wavy and curly.

The word “portmanteau” was first used in this context by Lewis Carroll in the book Through the Looking-Glass (1871), in which Humpty Dumpty explains to Alice the coinage of the unusual words in Jabberwocky, where “slithy” means “lithe and slimy” and “mimsy” is “flimsy and miserable”. Humpty Dumpty explains the practice of combining words in various ways by telling Alice,

‘You see it’s like a portmanteau—there are two meanings packed up into one word.’

My single word blend malaphors are unconscious blends of words to make an unintentional new word. The word sounds or looks correct at first blush, but then on closer examination is incorrect. Examples so far on my website are “Buckminster Palace” (Buckingham and Westminster, and/or possibly Buckminster Fuller) and “split-minute decision” (split second and last minute).


It caught my mind

I heard this one from Senator Jon Tester of Montana on the Bill Maher show this week.   It is a mash up of “caught my eye” and I think “bring to mind”, both meaning to cause one to think of someone or something.   The words mind and eye sound similar and are both located in the head, perhaps adding to the conflation.  I like this one as it is subtle and still descriptive of the thought.


He is going squirrel crazy

I said this one today, referring to a friend who is in the hospital.  It is a conflation of “stir-crazy” and “squirrelly”, both meaning being restless.   I actually think this congruent malaphor describes a restless person better than the two phrases.  After all, what can be more agitated than a crazy squirrel?


The time is ticking

In the recent confirmation hearings,  Senator John Kerry noted that “the time is ticking” for Syrian President Bashar Assad:

 “History caught up to us. That never happened. And it’s now moot, because he (Assad) has made a set of judgments that are inexcusable, that are reprehensible, and I think is not long for remaining as the head of state in Syria,” the senator said. “I think the time is ticking.”

http://news.yahoo.com/kerry-field-questions-panel-chairs-080523261.html

This is a mash up of “the clock is ticking” and “the time is coming” with maybe the clock on 60 minutes thrown in for good measure.  Thanks to Yvonne for catching this one and passing it on!


Let’s take each one by ear

Alison (check her blog at www.absolutely-write.co.uk ), a follower of this website, was drinking coffee in a neighborhood cafe, trying not to listen to the eager young man in a suit sitting behind her, who was talking loudly into his phone. As he was finishing up his conversation, he said “Yeah, well, let’s take each one by ear”.  She correctly noted that the speaker was probably muddling up “let’s take each one as it comes” and “let’s play it by ear”.   Thank you Alison for submitting this malaphor!


He was telling my ears off

I heard this one at lunch yesterday from a former colleague, Cindy.   We looked at each other and said, “malaphor”!   It is a mash up of “talking my ears off” (excessive talking) and “telling me off” (scold someone).  Telling also sounds like yelling, which I think also was going on.