I don’t want to be a bandwagon fan

This malaphor is a mash up of “fair-weather fan” (someone who supports a team only when it is winning) and “jump on the bandwagon” (joining something only when it is popular).  It is a congruent conflation as both phrases concern a person who is being supportive of something or someone only because it is the popular thing to do.   This malaphor has evolved into an accepted phrase, apparently, as it can be found in Urban Dictionary and has been used by several people (e.g., Cuba Gooding Jr.).  Thanks to Katie Hatfield for uttering this one unintentionally and then recognizing it as malaphor worthy.



I’m cursing like a race horse

This is a mash up of “cursing like a sailor” (swearing a lot) and “pissing like a race horse” (no definition required).   Not sure how the speaker could confuse cursing and pissing, although cursing does sound like coursing.  Of course, many of us have cursed AT race horses before, so that could be part of the mix-up.  Many thanks to Lisa O’Donnell, who heard this gem from a neighbor’s lips.

You’re being such a team sport

This odd sounding congruent conflation is a mash up of “good sport” and “team player”, both meaning to get along well in a group.  There may be a sprinkle of “taking one for the team” (sacrifice yourself for the good of the group) as it was uttered to someone in high heels trying to keep up with her friends.   A big thanks to Naomi David for saying and sharing this one.  She is quickly becoming the female version of “the master”.

She should face the piper

This is a wonderful congruent conflation of “face the music” and “pay the piper”, both meaning to accept the sometimes unpleasant results of an action.   I saw this in a website called “Expertlaw”:

“Our 13 year old was caught stealing a necklace retailing for $4.50. We are so shocked and disappointed by her actions. In addition, we are unsure what to do or what to expect in terms of prosecution, etc. We feel she should face the “piper” but we hope that it is tempered or that the punishment will fit the crime. We have taken personal action but have no idea what we should/could expect from the Michigan courts. Can you provide some idea? Thanks”

There also is a quote attributed to the basketball player Tim Hardaway – “I was always taught if you do something, face the piper.  Try to make it right.”    So let’s go do something today and face the piper!

She always wants to be in the know-it-all

This is a conflation of “in the know” and “know-it-all”.  Apparently being in the know is not enough for this person.  A big shout out to Mitch Hoyson for spotting this gem!

Jedi mind-meld

For this one, I will leave the ‘splaining to Al Kamen of the Washington Post:

President Obama might be urging cooperation between Democrats and Republicans on the sequester.

But the only things that seems to be mixing at the moment are metaphors.

During his news conference Friday, Obama said some people unfairly expected him to be able to force Republicans to accept his terms. “Even though most people agree… I’m presenting a fair deal, the fact that they don’t take it means that I should somehow do a Jedi mind-meld with these folks and convince them to do what’s right,” he said.

That phrase “Jedi mind meld,”which he uttered during extemporaneous (read: no prompter or script) remarks during the question-and-answer portion of the newser, appears to combine elements from two distinct sci-fi worlds.

A “Jedi mind trick” is a power exercised by Jedi Knights in “Star Wars,” usually accomplished by verbal ma­nipu­la­tion (Famous example: “These aren’t the droids you’re looking for.”)

But “mind meld” is a phenomenon from “Star Trek.” It’s a method of communication used among Vulcans, like Spock.

Obama’s mash-up of the two is certain to provoke outcry among the fervent fans of each franchise. And no matter what happens in Washington, the president might find that bringing together Trekkies and Star Wars aficionados might be tougher than brokering a bipartisan compromise.

Vulcan (Star Trek)

Vulcan (Star Trek) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The kids don’t have to be rocket surgeons

This beauty was said by Tennessee State Senator Stacey Campfield on CNN last week.  In response to Martin Bashir‘s question of why tying welfare benefits to children’s grades wouldn’t hurt the family overall, Sen. Campfield said, “the kids don’t have to be rocket surgeons.”  This is a nice mash up of “brain surgeon” and “rocket scientist”.  Thanks to Sam for finding this one replayed on the Jay Leno show!  The exchange is in the link below:

rocket surgeon