I’m cursing like a race horse

This is a mash up of “cursing like a sailor” (swearing a lot) and “pissing like a race horse” (no definition required).   Not sure how the speaker could confuse cursing and pissing, although cursing does sound like coursing.  Of course, many of us have cursed AT race horses before, so that could be part of the mix-up.  Many thanks to Lisa O’Donnell, who heard this gem from a neighbor’s lips.

That’s a horse of a different story

This is a blend of “a horse of a different color” (an entirely different matter) and “that’s another (or different) story” (an explanation to give at some other time).   A big thanks to Robyn Pietrucha who heard this malaphor spoken in the 1934 comedy short, “The Chases of Pimple Street”, starring Charley Chase.   The movie is a spoof of the 1934 classic, “The Barretts of Wimpole Street”.



Stooge020 charle.jpg

We have a few dark sheep in the family

The Sopranos title screen.

The Sopranos title screen. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This is a mash up of “black sheep” (disreputable member of a group) and “dark horse” (something or someone who is little known and rises to prominence).  It was uttered in The Legend of Tennessee Moltisanti the eighth episode of the first season of The Sopranos.:

Dr. Reis: You know, on my mother’s side, we have a few dark sheep.
Louis “Lepke” Buchalter, you know, Murder Incorporated. My mother’s
uncle was Lepke’s wheel man, his driver.

Not to beat a broken record, but….

This is a conflation of “beat a dead horse” and “sound like a broken record’, both meaning to do or say the same thing over and over again.  The best malaphors are the ones mixing similar meaning phrases, and this is a good example.  Kudos to Kevin Hatfield for uttering this unintentional masterpiece, and to Justin Taylor for recognizing it.

Hold your jets!

This malaphor was spoken by a dad who was telling his son to stop messing with the car radio.   After blurting it out he immediately knew to contact the Malaphor King.  This is a mash up of “hold your horses” and “cool your jets”, both meaning to slow down or control one’s excitement.

I don’t want to reinvent the horse

This malaphor is a mash up of “reinvent the wheel” (make unnecessary preparations) and  “beat a dead horse” (waste time trying to do something that will not succeed), both involving wasted time.   A big shout out to Cecily for providing this beauty.