Quench that itch
Posted: April 21, 2018 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: 93.7 the Fan, expressions, humor, Josh Miller, language, malaphor, malaphors, quench that thirst, scratch an itch, words Leave a commentThere is a local sports radio station here in Pittsburgh called “93.7 The Fan”. One of the commentators is Josh Miller, a former punter for the Pittsburgh Steelers. Josh was talking about how football players have trouble finding the excitement of the game after they retire or quit, and that it’s hard for them to “quench that itch”. This is a mashup of “quench that thirst” (to stop being thirsty) and “scratch an itch” (satisfy a need or desire). It’s possible that the speaker was thinking of “quashing” (repressing) something instead of quenching, but maybe dousing the itch with water does stop or repress it. By the way, Josh also uttered one of my favorite malaphors of all time, “he’s open game”, a mix of “open season” and “fair game”. https://malaphors.com/2017/08/05/hes-open-game-2/ Josh is unfortunately leaving 93.7 The Fan but we wish him the best and hope for more malaphors. Kudos to John Kooser for hearing this one and punting it in.
Want to quench that itch for more malaphors? Check out my book, “He Smokes Like a Fish and other Malaphors”, available for a cheap 6.99 on Amazon!
We’re going to have to pull the bullet
Posted: April 19, 2018 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: bite the bullet, expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, pull the plug, words Leave a commentMy running partner uttered this one today. He was talking about having to complete something that was needed to be done for a long time. It is a mashup of “bite the bullet” (to do or accept something unpleasant) and probably “pull the plug” (to force something to end). “Pulling teeth” (to do something that is very difficult) also may be in play as the speaker may have conjured up “teeth” when he thought of “bite”. “Pull some strings” (to use the power or influence over others) might also have been in the speaker’s mind. Finally, malaphor follower Sally Adler suggested “pull the trigger” (make a decision). This certainly is a possibility given “bullet” in the other idiom. In fact, I believe this is the mashup as in context the speaker was talking about having to make a decision. Bravo Sally! Or perhaps he was thinking literally of a bullet puller, a device to safely remove a bullet from a gun. A big thank you to Dan Geier for unintentionally saying this one, recognizing it as a malaphor, and letting me post it.
We’re just shooting ourselves in the dark!
Posted: April 18, 2018 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, shoot yourself in the foot, shot in the dark, words Leave a commentWhen discussing a problem that they had been trying to troubleshoot for a rather long time, the submitter’s coworker exclaimed “At this point we’re just shooting ourselves in the dark!” This is a mashup of “shooting yourself in the foot” (to damage or impede’s one’s own plans) and “a shot in the dark” (a guess or estimate). The words “shoot” and “shot” are the culprits here. As the submitter, Ian, says, “Perhaps a bit darker than either taking shots in the dark or shooting ourselves in the feet, but it certainly got her point across.” This one reminds me of one of my favorite malaphors posted on this site, “It’s a crap in the dark.” https://malaphors.com/2012/12/26/its-a-crap-in-the-dark/. Now that’s dark!
A big thanks to Ian for sharing this one.
Trump will do anything to avoid that rock being peeled back
Posted: April 16, 2018 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Donny Deutsch, expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, Michael Cohen, Morning Joe, onion peeled back, Trump, turn over every stone, words 1 CommentThis gem was uttered by Donny Deutsch, American ad executive and television personality, on “Morning Joe”. He was referring to potential documents by Trump’s personal lawyer that could reveal past business dealings. It is a congruent conflation of “rock being turned over” and “onion being peeled back”, both meaning to uncover something that is concealed. This was uttered around Easter, so perhaps Mr. Deutsch had the resurrection image in his mind. Certainly the similar phrases “peeling back” and turning over” added to the confusion. A big thanks to Mike Kovacs for hearing this and sending it in.
Take no quarter
Posted: April 13, 2018 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Deadline: White House, expressions, give no quarter, Harry Litman, humor, malaphor, malaphors, Michael Cohen, MSNBC, take no prisoners, Trump, words 2 CommentsThis nice, subtle malaphor was uttered by Harry Litman, former US Attorney, on the MSNBC show Deadline: White House. Mr. Litman was talking about the Southern District of New York and its toughness on criminal activity, specifically referring to Michael Cohen’s possible involvement in criminal actions. It is a congruent conflation of “take no prisoners” and “give no quarter”, both meaning to show no mercy or compromise in pursuing one’s objectives. “Taking” and “giving” often get mixed up, it seems, as it is difficult sometimes to understand why one word is used and not the other. For example, the expression “I need to take a piss (or dump)” makes no sense to me as one is really “giving a piss (or dump)”, right? Conversely, the phrase “I don’t give a hoot (shit)” about something makes more sense if you “don’t take a hoot (shit)”. Word rant of the day. A big thanks to “my ol’ pal” Beatrice Zablocki for giving a hoot about malaphors and spotting this one.
He’s going to fold like a cheap deck of cards
Posted: April 10, 2018 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, fall like a house of cards, fold like a cheap suitcase, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, Michael Avenatti, Michael Cohen, MSNBC, Stormy Daniels, Trump, words 2 CommentsI had to put this one at the head of the line. This gem was uttered by Michael Avenetti, Stormy Daniels’ lawyer, on MSNBC’s “The Beat”. He was referring to Michael Cohen, Donald Trump’s personal lawyer. Here is the context:
“I think when push comes to shove he’s going to fold like a cheap deck of cards, I really do,” Daniels’ lawyer, Michael Avenatti, told MSNBC’s “The Beat” on Monday night. https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/donald-trump/trump-s-attorney-michael-cohen-will-fold-cheap-deck-cards-n864241
This is a congruent conflation of “fold like a cheap suitcase” and “fall like a house of cards”, both meaning to collapse easily or a plan that is destined to fail. Regarding the “cheap suitcase” idiom, the Free Dictionary explains: “expensive luggage was made from well-constructed leather or fabric. Cheap ones used to be made of cardboard with little or no structural reinforcement, not very sturdy especially when manhandled by baggage handlers or hotel porters. You also hear “fold like a cheap suit”, but since fabric folds easily, whether it’s cashmere or polyester, “suitcase” presents a better connotation of a losing proposition.”
Mr. Avenatti’s is particularly sweet, as he combines the image of a cheap deck of cards with folding. A poker player with a losing hand would certainly fold but “like a cheap suitcase”, although I suppose there are cheap enough cards out there that bend easily. Casinos would not use them.
I think the mashup was also caused by the word “suit” in the proper idiom, with the speaker associating “suit” with “cards”. A big thanks to Jim Kozlowski for spotting this one first and sending it in. I had many people send it in as well, but Jim was the first so he gets the malaphor kudo.
In case you can’t quite pin the nail on the head
Posted: April 7, 2018 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, hit the nail on the head, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, pin it down, words Leave a commentThis is from a video about a person describing a mental health condition to his doctor. The speaker said, “It’s helpful to get a recording in case you can’t quite pin the nail on the head.” This is a mashup of “pin it down” (to establish or determine something concretely) and “hit the nail on the head” (to do exactly the right thing). As the submitter said, certainly the game “pin the tail on the donkey” was probably on the speaker’s mind. A big thanks to Jake A. Phillips for sending this one in!
Michael Cohen is in hot soup
Posted: April 5, 2018 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, humor, in hot water, in the soup, language, malaphor, malaphors, Michael Cohen, Slate, words Leave a commentThis subtle malaphor was found at Slate.com. Here is the full quote: “That might seem like a pretty shaky defense, even if Cohen really used his home equity line to get the funds as he claims, but it turns out to be no defense at all. Cohen should be in hot soup either way.” https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2018/03/if-michael-cohen-is-telling-the-truth-about-his-stormy-daniels-payment-he-can-be-disbarred.html
“In hot soup” is a congruent conflation of “in hot water” and “in the soup”, both meaning to be in trouble. Perhaps this conflation means the person in question is REALLY in trouble. The mix stems from the liquids “water” and “soup”. Soup can be served hot or cold, but in this case it is scorching hot. A tip of the hat to Barry Eigen for spotting this gem.
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It’s tough when there’s bone in the matter
Posted: April 3, 2018 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: bone to pick, expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, truth of the matter, words Leave a commentThis was a response to someone who was griping about a situation she didn’t like, even as she recognized the pettiness of her complaint. It is a mash of “bone to pick” (grounds for a complaint or dispute) and “truth in (of) the matter” (used when you want to show you are being honest). Perhaps the speaker was thinking about the marrow in the bone, the “matter” inside the bone. A big thanks to curioussteph for uttering this one, realizing it was a malaphor, and sending it in.
If you want to get to the matter of malaphors, look no further than my book “He Smokes Like a Fish and other Malaphors”, available on Amazon at https://www.amazon.com/dp/0692652205. No bones to pick there!
So many horses are throwing their hats into the ring right now
Posted: March 30, 2018 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, golf.com, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, no horse in this race, throw his hat in the ring, words Leave a commentInteresting visual. This malaphor was seen on Golf.com. It is a mix of “throw one’s hat in the ring” (indicate one is going to be a candidate) and I think “no horse in this race” (not invested or affected in the outcome of something). This is a true incongruent conflation, as the idioms have opposite meanings. “Workhorse” (a person who works tirelessly) may also have been in the mix as the writer was talking about professional golfers who are true workhorses. The writer may also have been thinking of horses in a circus going around a ring. A shout out to Larry Mason who spotted this one and sent it in.
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