Right out of the bat
Posted: March 5, 2020 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Cal Perry, humor, language, malaphor, off the bat, out of the gate Leave a commentHe’s tooting that horn all the way to the bank
Posted: March 2, 2020 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Biden, expressions, humor, language, laughing all the way to the bank, malaphor, tooting one's own horn, Trump, words Leave a commentThis one comes from the Washington Post’s Daily 202 Connie Breeden, an attorney who is African American, said “This is going to be Biden’s last stand because he thinks that black people are going to support him just because of Barack Obama. He’s tooting that horn all the way to the bank. But people are savvier than that.” This is a mashup of “tooting his own horn” (to boast or brag about one’s abilities) and “laughing all the way to the bank” (to profit from something that others regard as stupid or frivolous). Here’s the link to the malaphor
Perhaps the speaker was thinking of thieves dressed as clowns robbing a bank. That is certainly in several movies, including Quick Change. A big thank you to Barry Eigen for spotting this one and sending it in.
He has his hands in a lot of pies
Posted: February 22, 2020 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: a finger in every pie, expressions, hand in something, humor, language, malaphor, words Leave a commentThe contributor of this malaphor was also the speaker, and blurted out this beauty by accident. It is almost a congruent conflation, as both “a hand in something” and “a finger in every pie” mean to have an interest in or involvement in a matter, but in the case of finger in every pie, it is involvment in everything. “Fingers” and “hands” seem to be the culprit here, and I suspect, knowing the speaker, that his mind might have been on some pie-fighting scenes in a few 3 Stooges shorts. A shout out to Martin Pietrucha for sending this one in!
I have a job underneath the books
Posted: February 4, 2020 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, off the books, under the table, words Leave a commentThis was heard at an administrative hearing. The speaker was talking about work that he was currently performing. It is a congruent conflation of “off the books” and “under the table”, both meaning to do something in secret so that taxes won’t be paid. Then again, maybe the speaker works in the basement of a library. A follow up question hopefully was made. A big thanks to John Costello for hearing this one.
If you liked this one, check out my book on malaphors, “He Smokes Like a Fish and other Malaphors”, available underneath on Amazon. https://www.amazon.com/dp/0692652205
A little bit of a tightrope that the Democrats have to run
Posted: February 1, 2020 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Frank Thorp V, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, MSNBC, run the gauntlet, Trump, walk a tightrope, words Leave a commentWe’ve never sought to depose every witness under the face of the sun
Posted: January 31, 2020 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Adam Schiff, everything under the sun, expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, on the face of the earth, Trump, words Leave a commentAdam Schiff, House Manager in the Trump Impeachment Trial, uttered this in response to the President’s counsel’s comment that witnesses would be endless and that the trial could drag on until the next election. Here is the context and the quote:
Taking up additional witnesses “could be done very quickly, effectively, we’ve never sought to depose every witness under the face of the sun,” Schiff later added, noting that a select four witnesses have been specified by House managers as “particularly appropriate and relevant” to their case.
This is a terrific congruent conflation of ” everything under the sun” and “on the face of the earth”, both meaning all things in existence, or everything one can reasonably imagine. The speaker apparently was thinking of the earth and the sun at the same time. A big thanks to Bruce Ryan for hearing this one and sending it in. Bruce has the ears of a hawk.
It was a lock cinch
Posted: January 29, 2020 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: a lock, Brian Williams, cinch, expressions, humor, language, lead-pipe cinch, malaphor, Trump, words Leave a commentHe was taken to the carpet
Posted: January 27, 2020 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: called on the carpet, expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, Meet the Press, Mike Braun, taken to the cleaners, Trump, words Leave a commentSenator Mike Braun, Republican from Indiana, uttered this one on Meet the Press yesterday. He was talking about Trump and the effect impeachment will have on him. It is a mashup of “called on the carpet” (to reprimand someone) and “taken to the cleaners” (to swindle someone or to soundly defeat someone). My guess is that the Senator was thinking of carpet cleaning. He also may have been thinking of the idiom “taken to the mat”(to confront or argue with someone), given mats and carpets are both floor coverings. A big thanks to Elaine Hatfield and Mike Kovacs who heard this one and sent it in.
I’m not the sharpest tack in the drawer
Posted: January 20, 2020 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, humor, language, malaphor, not the sharpest knife in the drawer, sharp as a tack, words Leave a commentThe speaker was not feeling well and mentioned to someone about her mental acuity for the day. This is an incongruent conflation (opposite meanings) of “not the sharpest knife in the drawer” (not very smart) and “sharp as a tack” (intelligent and quick thinking). As everyone knows, there are many expressions out there describing the dull witted individual, and these expressions are often mixed up. I have posted several of these mashups, including “not the brightest tool in the shed”, https://malaphors.com/2013/06/24/not-the-brightest-tool-in-the-shed/, “not the sharpest bulb in the shed”, https://malaphors.com/2017/08/03/not-the-sharpest-bulb-in-the-shed/, and “not the brightest knife in the drawer”, https://malaphors.com/2018/02/14/hes-not-the-brightest-knife-in-the-drawer/, to name just a few. A big thanks to Yvonne Stam for admitting she uttered this one and realizing it was a malaphor.
Giuliani blew his lid on that
Posted: January 19, 2020 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: blew his stack, expressions, flipped his lid, humor, language, Lev Parnas, malaphor, Rachel Maddow, Trump, words Leave a commentThis one was uttered by Lev Parnas, Rudy Giuliani’s assistant in the Rachel Maddow interview. Here it is:
Lev was describing Giuliani’s reaction to hearing Ukranian President Zelensky’s decision not to announce an investifation specifically mentioning Joe Biden’s name. It is a nice congruent conflation of ” “flipped his lid” and “blew his top/stack”, both meaning to become extremely angry or mad. A huge thanks to Mike Kovacs for hearing this one and sending it in.






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