That will bring some skeletons crawling out of the woodwork

This is a delightful mixture of “skeletons in the closet” (secrets) and “crawling out of the woodwork” (secrets coming out in the open).  The confusion lies in the two phrases referring to secrets and exposing them.   I heard this in a conversation but I cannot reveal the source as I was sworn to secrecy.  We can’t have these malaphors crawling out of the woodwork, can we?


He was dressed to the tee (or t)

This is a mash up of two phrases describing perfection – “dressed to the teeth” (dressed very stylishly with nothing overlooked) and “to a tee (or t)” (perfectly).   “Dressed to the nines” (same definition as dressed to the teeth) also might be in the mix, but my guess is that the speaker was thinking teeth as tee and teeth are similar in sound.  Of course, it is possible that the person spoken about was dressed in a very stylish, perfect looking tee shirt, but doubtful.  Many thanks to Sam Edelmann for hearing this one and passing it on.

... shirt / Funny Formal Bachelor Party, Wedding, Prom, or Funeral Tux Tee


Let’s roll up our hands and all get together

Howard Fineman on the tv show “Hardball” said a few days ago that Congress’s attitude will not be “let’s roll up our hands and let’s all get together” on various issues.  This is an amusing mixture of several thoughts, including “roll up our sleeves” (prepare for hard work), “get your hands dirty” (involve yourself in all parts of a job), and “joining hands” (working together), the latter sort of a “kumbaya” approach to working.  Rolling up one’s hands is similar to the Master’s wonderful malaphor, “Let’s roll up our elbows and get to work!” (see posting dated 7/30/12).  Many thanks to “my ol’ pal” for spotting this one and sending it in!


Wrapping down another Christmas

This is a congruent conflation of “wrapping up” and “winding down”, both meaning to bring to an end.  Also wrapping gifts comes to mind.   Merry Christmas everyone!

Pink Floral Gift Wrap

Pink Floral Gift Wrap (Photo credit: Premier Packaging)

 


JFK was a duck in a barrel

Picture of President Kennedy in the limousine ...

Picture of President Kennedy in the limousine in Dallas, Texas, on Main Street, minutes before the assassination. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This phrase mixes “sitting duck” (someone vulnerable to an attack)  and “shooting fish in a barrel” (ridiculously easy).  A big thanks to Michael Ameel for hearing this one on a radio program recently about the Kennedy assassination.  An expert on the show indicated that JFK was an easy target, and blurted out this malaphor.   It is similar to the 1/16/13 entry, “It’s like shooting ducks in a barrel”.


I’ve got nothing to hide but the truth

Perhaps this malaphor should be categorized as a “freudian slip malaphor”, as it was uttered by a person under oath.   It combines the phrase “I have nothing to hide” and the end of the witness oath in which one swears to tell the truth, the whole truth and “nothing but the truth.”  It might also apply to politicians these days.  Thanks to John Costello for sending this beauty in!


He dug himself into a corner

This congruent conflation mixes the phrases “paint oneself in a corner” and “dig yourself into a hole”, both meaning an action that puts a person in a difficult situation.  Kudos to Eric Marsh for sending this one in.  He could not recall where he heard this one, but it could be referring to either the Republicans strategy of shutting down the government or President Obama’s statement that people can keep their existing health care coverage.  Take your pick.


Count your losses

fried green tomatoes

fried green tomatoes (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This beauty comes from Sarah Hodges:  “My husband and I were discussing the coming frost and my still-green
tomatoes
. He told me to “count my losses” and just pick them green.”    This is a mash up of “cut your losses” (do something to stop further losses) and I believe “count your blessings” (grateful for any small benefit, particularly in a difficult situation).  Hey, a green tomato is better than no tomato, right?


She’s going to kick some dust off the tires

CNN studio

CNN studio (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hillary Clinton that is.   This malaphor was spoken by CNN political reporter Peter Hamby when discussing the Hillary campaign speech in the Virginia governor‘s race.  It is a mash up of “kick the tires” (to test something) and I think “when the dust settles” (waiting for things to calm down), although “bite the dust” (to die) might be in the mix as well.   Certainly tires cause lots of dust so hence the confusion.  A big thanks to Steve Grieme for hearing this one and sending it in.


It’s working like a glove

This is a mix of the phrases “fits like a glove” (fits very well) and “works like a charm” (works just the way you intended).  Both phrases indicate things that are exactly right, so hence the confusion.  Also charm and glove are five letter words.   A big shout out to Tim Kunzler who uttered this beauty, and Marsha Roberts for ratting him out! 🙂

The Japanese Power Glove with receivers

The Japanese Power Glove with receivers (Photo credit: Wikipedia)