How many cracks at the apple is this guy going to get?

This one was overheard in a conversation between a lawyer and the judge in a court proceeding.   This is a nice congruent conflation of “a second bite of the apple” and “cracks at the bat”, both meaning additional opportunities.  “Take a crack at (something)” (an attempt) is probably also in the mix.  Perhaps the speaker was thinking of William Tell or maybe a pinata party.  Kudos to Matin Pietrucha who heard this one and sent it in.


A little bit of a tightrope that the Democrats have to run

This mashup was uttered by Frank Thorp V on MSNBC last Saturday.  It is a conflation of “walk a tightrope” (be in a situation where one must be extremely cautious) and “run the gauntlet” (enduring a series of problems, threats, or criticisms).  “Running” and “walking” might have led to the speaker’s confusion, or perhaps in the end the Democrats really had to run across that tightrope!  A big thanks to Frank King who heard this one and ran it in.

We’ve never sought to depose every witness under the face of the sun

Adam Schiff, House Manager in the Trump Impeachment Trial, uttered this in response to the President’s counsel’s comment that witnesses would be endless and that the trial could drag on until the next election.  Here is the context and the quote:

Taking up additional witnesses “could be done very quickly, effectively, we’ve never sought to depose every witness under the face of the sun,” Schiff later added, noting that a select four witnesses have been specified by House managers as “particularly appropriate and relevant” to their case.

https://www.ntd.com/impeachment-trial-live-updates-final-day-of-qa-before-vote-on-witnesses_429541.html

This is a terrific congruent conflation of ” everything under the sun” and “on the face of the earth”, both meaning all things in existence, or everything one can reasonably imagine.  The speaker apparently was thinking of the earth and the sun at the same time.  A big thanks to Bruce Ryan for hearing this one and sending it in.  Bruce has the ears of a hawk.


It was a lock cinch

Brian Williams on MSNBC, the Malaphor Network, uttered this one when he was discussing the Trump impeachment.  It is a congruent conflation of “a lock” and “a lead-pipe cinch or cinch”, both meaning a certainty or a task certain to be accomplished.  Maybe a lock cinch is a certain certainty?  A big thanks to Frank King who heard this one and sent it in.

He was taken to the carpet

Senator Mike Braun, Republican from Indiana, uttered this one on Meet the Press yesterday.  He was talking about Trump and the effect impeachment will have on him.  It is a mashup of “called on the carpet” (to reprimand someone) and “taken to the cleaners” (to swindle someone or to soundly defeat someone).  My guess is that the Senator was thinking of carpet cleaning.  He also may have been thinking of the idiom “taken to the mat”(to confront or argue with someone), given mats and carpets are both floor coverings.  A big thanks to Elaine Hatfield and Mike Kovacs who heard this one and sent it in.


This is not coming out of whole cloth

Willie Geist on MSNBC’s Morning Joe said this one, discussing Lev Parnas’ statements to Rachel Maddow.  It is a nice congruent conflation of “coming out of left field” and ” made out of whole cloth”, both meaning something utterly false or fictional.  “Out of” is in both phrases, contributing to the mixup.  A tip of the hat to Donna Calvert who heard this one and immediately contacted Malaphor Central.


I’m not the sharpest tack in the drawer

The speaker was not feeling well and mentioned to someone about her mental acuity for the day.  This is an incongruent conflation (opposite meanings) of “not the sharpest knife in the drawer” (not very smart) and “sharp as a tack” (intelligent and quick thinking).  As everyone knows, there are many expressions out there describing the dull witted individual, and these expressions are often mixed up.  I have posted several of these mashups, including “not the brightest tool in the shed”,  https://malaphors.com/2013/06/24/not-the-brightest-tool-in-the-shed/,  “not the sharpest bulb in the shed”, https://malaphors.com/2017/08/03/not-the-sharpest-bulb-in-the-shed/, and “not the brightest knife in the drawer”, https://malaphors.com/2018/02/14/hes-not-the-brightest-knife-in-the-drawer/,  to name just a few.  A big thanks to Yvonne Stam for admitting she uttered this one and realizing it was a malaphor.


Giuliani blew his lid on that

This one was uttered by Lev Parnas, Rudy Giuliani’s assistant in the Rachel Maddow interview.  Here it is:

Lev was describing Giuliani’s reaction to hearing Ukranian President Zelensky’s decision not to announce an investifation specifically mentioning Joe Biden’s name.  It is a nice congruent conflation of ” “flipped his lid” and “blew his top/stack”, both meaning to become extremely angry or mad.   A huge thanks to Mike Kovacs for hearing this one and sending it in.


I’m not a poor loser

Yours truly uttered this one in a conversation about a current losing streak in trivia.  It is a congruent conflation of “sore loser” and “poor sport”, both describing a person who reacts negatively in a competition.  “Poor” and “sore” are similar sounding words, contributing to the mashup.  A big thanks to Elaine Hatfield for calling me out on this one.


You hit it right on the point

This one was uttered by Andy Brenner (National Alliance Securities) on CNBC, referring to a comment made by Rick Santelli.  It is a congruent conflation of “hit the nail on the head” and “on point”. both meaning to be exactly right, accurate, or perfect.  Nails have points so the mental hiccup occurred with that visual, presumably.  A big thanks to big brother John Hatfield for hearing this one and sending it in.  #RickSantelli #CNBC