You’re gunning your wheels
Posted: April 22, 2017 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, gunning an engine, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, spinning your wheels, words Leave a commentThis was uttered by the submitter’s wife. It is a mashup of “spinning your wheels” (use a lot of effort but not getting anything done) and “gunning your engine” (to race an engine). My guess is that the speaker was thinking of spinning wheels which led to cars which led to gunning an engine. Many thanks to Sam Edelmann who heard this and passed it along!
I would not trust that with a barge pole
Posted: April 21, 2017 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Dave and Phil, expressions, Golf with Friends, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, words, would not touch him with a barge pole, would not trust him if I could throw him Leave a commentThis malaphor was uttered in the You Tube video “Two Sandy Balls”. You can hear the mixed idiom at about 14:05 in the video. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xIKPD0l7HYA
It is a nice mashup of “wouldn’t touch that with a barge pole” (do not want to become involved with something or someone in any way) and “would not trust him as far as I could throw him” (don’t trust someone at all). “Trust” and “touch” are similar sounds and are the source of the confusion here, I think. Interestingly, the idiom “would not touch someone with a barge pole” is an idiom heard in the U.K. or in Australia. In the U.S, that expression is “wouldn’t touch him with a ten foot pole”. Barge poles were used to push barges, and were ordinarily about ten feet long. A big thanks to Albie Winter for hearing this one and passing it along!
If you liked this malaphor you will LOVE the book, “He Smokes Like a Fish and other Malaphors”, available on Amazon (UK and Australia as well!).
It’s better than a kick in the eye with a stick
Posted: April 19, 2017 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick, expressions, humor, kick in the pants, kick up the ass, language, malaphor, malaphors, words Leave a commentThis tortured saying scrambles “a kick in the pants (or kick up the ass/arse)” (to do or say something to motivate someone who is lazy) and “better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick” (better than nothing). Kick and stick rhyme, creating the confusion. Also poke and kick are similar assaults on the body. A big thanks to Ezz for hearing this from a colleague who apparently utters unintentional idiom blends on a frequent basis. Keep ’em coming, Ezz!
He may have sealed his death warrant
Posted: April 17, 2017 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, Roman Reigns, sealed his fate, signed his own death warrant, The Undertaker, words, WWE Raw Leave a commentThis classic was heard on WWE Raw the other night. Roman Reigns speared the Undertaker. The announcer, sensing that the ‘Taker was mad, said Reigns may have “sealed his death warrant.” This is a mashup of “sealed his fate” (determining finally the fate of someone) and “signed his own death warrant” (to cause one’s own destruction). I suppose death warrants are signed, sealed, and delivered, and maybe the speaker had that on his mind. A big thanks to John Kooser for hearing this one and sending it on!
The investigation has really hit the rails
Posted: April 14, 2017 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, hit the fan, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, off the rails, words 4 CommentsThis mix up, concerning the investigation of Russia’s involvement in the US presidential election, was heard on NPR. It’s a mashup of “off the rails” (in a state of disorder or chaos) and “hit the fan” (become a scandal). Not sure which idiom the speaker intended, as both could fit in context. Perhaps the speaker had a mental image of the hobo catching a ride on a train and “hitting the rails”. A tip of the toque to JoErin Mahokey for hearing this one and passing it on!
P.S. Yvonne Stam, frequent contributor, added this additional explanation: “I would offer ‘hit the wall’ (reach a point of exhaustion) and ‘hit a wall’ (unable to make further progress) as well.” Agreed! Thanks Yvonne!
No President has a batting average of 100 percent
Posted: April 13, 2017 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: batting a thousand, expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, Pirate Gold, words 1 CommentDavid Axelrod on CNN was responding to a comment that President Obama was not always correct and made the comment, “No president has a batting average of 100 percent.” This is a congruent conflation of “batting a thousand” and “right 100 percent of the time”, both meaning to be right all the time. The submitter of this malaphor, Bob Marchinetti, noted that batting averages are not expressed this way. Bob would know, as he is an expert on baseball. Check out his great book, “Pirate Gold: The 1960 Season” available on Amazon. Here is the link: https://www.amazon.com/Pirate-Gold-Season-Bob-Marchinetti/dp/1628383275. A big thanks to Bob for hearing this one and sending it in!
Hand his hat on a platter
Posted: April 11, 2017 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, hand him his head on a platter, hat in hand, have your hat handed to you, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, words 1 CommentThis is a mashup of “hand him his head on a platter” (angry with someone and want him punished) and “have your hat handed to you” (asked to leave or to be fired from your job). The mix is caused by the words “hat” and “head”, and the word “hand” used in both idioms. “Hat in hand” (with humility) might also have been in the speaker’s mind. A lot of alliteration here. A big thanks to Jon Polk from @ClichesGoneWild for tweeting this one and sending it to me as well!
Patience comes to those who wait
Posted: April 7, 2017 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, WBNG, words 3 CommentsHuh? Good to know. This not so wise malaphor is thanks to Michael Schwartz on WBNG 12 News in Binghamton NY. It is a mashup of “good things come to those who wait” (if you are patient you will get what you want) and “patience is a virtue” (it is good to be patient). A big thanks to Nancy for hearing this one and sending it in!
Trump is not going to throw Paul Ryan over the bus
Posted: April 5, 2017 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: cnn, Donald Trump, expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, over a cliff, overboard, Paul Ryan, throw him under the bus, words 3 CommentsOver/under is the culprit here. This was heard by a Republican pundit speaking on CNN. It is a nice mashup of “go over the cliff” (taking a drastic step) and “throw (someone) under the bus” (exploit someone’s trust for one’s own gain or purpose). “Throw (someone) overboard” (get rid of excess baggage) might also be in the mix, as well as “over the edge” (excessive or out of control). Given the statures of the persons named, it might be possible. A big thanks to Ron McDonald for hearing this one and sending it in!
All I can do is not cry over sour milk
Posted: April 3, 2017 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Daniel Jacobs, don't cry over spilled milk, expressions, Gennady Golovkin, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, sour grapes, words Leave a commentThis great quote comes from boxer Daniel “The Miracle Man” Jacobs in his recent fight with Gennady “GGG” Golovkin. At the end of the fight, Jacobs discussed his loss, and said “all I can do is not cry over sour milk and continue to move forward.” Video clip is below. This is a mash up of “don’t cry over spilled milk” (don’t be upset over something that can’t be fixed) and “sour grapes”(disparaging what one cannot obtain). The speaker must have been thinking about that time he went to put milk on his cereal and the milk had turned sour, way beyond the expiration date. That has happened to me a few times, and yes I did cry.
Speaking of the idiom “sour grapes”, it comes from the Greek writer Aesop’s famous fable about a fox that cannot reach some grapes on a high vine and announces that they are sour. In English the fable was first recorded in William Caxton’s 1484 translation, “The fox said these raisins be sour.” A tip of the hat to Mike Ameel for hearing this one and passing it on, and to Susan Ameel for properly deconstructing the malaphor!
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