He was a sitting deer
Posted: September 12, 2017 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: deer in the headlights, expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, Pittsburgh Panthers, sitting duck, words Leave a commentThis one was uttered on the radio by the color commentator for the Pittsburgh Panthers football team. He was describing a Youngstown receiver who was standing still. It is a nice mashup of “sitting duck” (someone who is vulnerable to an easy attack) and “deer in the headlights” (of a paralyzed or frozen manner due to shock or bewilderment). Deers and ducks are often confused, right? Pittsburgh is deer hunter territory, so the speaker may have been thinking of upcoming deer season and an easy target. A big thanks to Mike Ameel for hearing this one and passing it on!
They sold me down the creek without a paddle
Posted: September 5, 2017 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, sold down the river, up a creek without a paddle, words Leave a commentThe contributor does not recall where she heard this one, but it’s certainly worthy of a post. This is a mashup of “they sold me down the river” (betray) and “up a creek without a paddle” (having difficulty or being in a difficult position). Creeks and rivers seem to be the culprit here. Not sure what the speaker intended here, as this is an incongruent conflation (mixing of two phrases with different meanings). I posted an earlier malaphor that is similar and is a congruent conflation (mix of two phrases with the same or similar meaning): “Up a tree without a paddle”. https://malaphors.com/2012/09/26/up-a-tree-without-a-paddle/
Interestingly, the expression “sold down the river” dates from the mid- 1800s, and alludes to slaves being sold down the Mississippi River to work as laborers on cotton plantations. Its figurative use dates from the late 1800s.
A big thanks to Jennifer Diello for hearing this one and passing it on.
The world is going to shit in a handcart
Posted: September 3, 2017 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, going to hell in a handbasket, going to shit, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, Trump, words 3 CommentsThis colorful malaphor was uttered by someone referring to the Trump presidency. It is a nice congruent conflation of “gone to shit” and “going to hell in a handbasket (or handcart)” both meaning a person or system is in a bad state and getting worse. This malaphor is very similar to a previous one posted, “the project is going to pot in a handbasket” (9/15/02). https://malaphors.com/2012/09/15/the-project-is-going-to-pot-in-a-handbasket/ A big thanks to Kerry Reynolds for hearing this one and passing it on.
The White House is lying its teeth off
Posted: September 1, 2017 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Daily Beast, expressions, humor, language, lying through your teeth, lying your ass off, malaphor, malaphors, MSNBC, Rachel Maddow Show, words Leave a commentThis was heard on the Rachel Maddow Show from Astajuan Subasang of the Daily Beast, who was talking about Gorka leaving the Trump Administration: “…the White House is lying its teeth off.” This is a nice mashup of “lying through your teeth” (telling someone something that you know is completely false) and “lying your ass off” (lie continually). I suppose if you can lie your ass off it is not hard to think you can do the same with your teeth. A big thanks to Frank King who heard this one and passed it on!
I’ll throw them out; they’re on their last knees
Posted: August 30, 2017 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, on its knees, on its last legs, words 2 CommentsWe do seem to mix body parts in phrases, don’t we? This one was uttered when doing some spring cleaning. It is a mix of “on its knees” (in a weakened or desperate state) and “on its last legs” (about to stop working). And make sure you throw out those jeans with holes in the knees! A big thanks to Kerry Reynolds who heard this one and passed it on!
There are two coins to every story
Posted: August 28, 2017 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, two sides of the same coin, two sides to every story, words Leave a commentI did not know that. This is a nice mashup of “there are two sides to every story” (there are valid reasons for holding opposing opinions) and “two sides of the same coin” (different but closely related features of one idea). Obviously “two sides” share each idiom, causing the confusion. A big thanks to Curious Steph for hearing this one and sending it in. As she said, “the sides got left out, coining a new story!”. Check out Steph’s blog at curioussteph.com.
Shit or get out of the kitchen!
Posted: August 26, 2017 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, get out of the kitchen, humor, if you can't stand the heat, language, malaphor, malaphors, shit or get off the pot, words 1 CommentInstant malaphor classic. It certainly is an interesting choice. This was overheard in a grocery store line (where else?). It is a mash up of “shit or get off the pot” (do something or get out of the way) and “if you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen” (if the pressures of some situation are too much to handle for you, you should leave that situation). “Get off” and “get out” might be the culprits here. A huge thank you to Art Spencer for hearing this one and passing it along.
Like this one? Check out more in my book “He Smokes Like a Fish and other Malaphors”, available on Amazon for a mere 6.99. You can definitely get out of the kitchen for this bathroom reading gem.
My boss is breathing down my throat
Posted: August 22, 2017 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: breathing down my neck, expressions, humor, jump down someone's throat, language, malaphor, malaphors, words Leave a commentThis was overheard in a conversation. It is a mash up of “breathing down my neck” (closely monitor someone) and “Jump down someone’s throat” (strongly disagree or criticize someone) , with the common word “down” perhaps being the culprit for the conflation. Throats and necks are also situated in the same location so the speaker may have their anatomical parts mixed up. “At each other’s throats” (said of two people who are noticeable angry with each other). might also be in the mix. Certainly this boss closely monitors a little too closely, don’t you think? A shout out to Emily Klingel for hearing this one and passing it on!
Crazy as a three dollar bill
Posted: August 19, 2017 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Chuck Todd, crazy as a loon, expressions, humor, J.C. Watts, language, malaphor, malaphors, MSNBC, phony as a three dollar bill, Trump, words Leave a commentThis one was uttered by J.C. Watts on the MTP (Meet the Press) Daily show on MSNBC. It is a nice mash up of “crazy as a loon” (insane) and “phony (or queer) as a three dollar bill” (bogus). http://www.zajilspeed.com/2017/08/african-american-republicans-tried-to.html
I suppose a three dollar bill is pretty crazy, but those loons definitely are the craziest. Of course, pileated woodpeckers sound daffy as well. A big thanks to Chief Malaphor Hunter (CMH) Mike Kovacs for hearing this one and immediately recording it.
We’re starting from scratch one
Posted: August 12, 2017 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: back to square one, expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, spreading activation, starting from scratch, words Leave a commentThis was uttered while making a second attempt at lugging a couch down a set of stairs. It’s a congruent conflation of “back to square one” and “starting from scratch” both meaning a starting place or at the beginning. These phrases seem to be a continual source of confusion. For example, I’ve posted “back to square zero” https://malaphors.com/2017/03/24/were-back-to-square-zero/ and “starting from ground one” https://malaphors.com/2012/11/07/starting-from-ground-one/. Both confuse the many phrases that describe a new beginning or starting over. While a square is certainly not a zero, the mind might be mixing them. One and zero are both numbers, and scratch and square are both similar in sound. A tip of the hat to John Kooser for muttering this one and passing it on!
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