My mother could dance you under the table
Posted: January 31, 2019 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: dance up a storm, drink you under the table, humor, language, malaphor, wordplay 2 CommentsThis one was heard at a retirement party for an organist/choirmaster. In recounting her history, the organist talked about how her mother had a great sense of rhythm, which she inherited. This is a mashup of “dance up a storm” (dance with intensity) and “drink you under the table” (to be able to drink more alcohol than someone else). Drinking and dancing both start with the letter “d” and both actions are often both associated together, hence the mix up.
The phrase appears in the Urban Dictionary with a decidedly different definition. https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Danced%20Her%20Under%20The%20Table. A tip of the hat to Barry Eigen, who heard this one and submitted it to Malaphor Central.
Starting to make a turn back?
Posted: January 30, 2019 Filed under: WORD BLENDS | Tags: humor, language, malaphor, Trump, wordplay, words Leave a commentThis is a word blend of “”turnaround” ( a complete change in opinion or method) and “comeback” (a return to popularity). As I have noted before in previous posts, malaphors can be word blends or idiom blends. The word blend seems to be a less common phenomenon.
I wish I could read between the tea lines
Posted: January 24, 2019 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Art Rooney II, expressions, humor, idiom, idioms, language, malaphor, read between the lines, reading the tea leaves, WDVE, words Leave a commentThis was heard in a morning radio show (WDVE) interview with the Pittsburgh Steelers’ owner, Art Rooney II. Mr. Rooney was talking about the wide receiver, Antonio Brown, and what will happen to him in the future. This is a nice conflation of “reading the tea leaves” (predicting on little bits of information) and “reading between the lines” (perceiving an obscure or unexpressed meaning). Both idioms pertain to perceiving or predicting, and both contain the word “reading”. “Lines” and “leaves” are also similar sounding words. This is similar to my prior posted malaphor, “read between the tea leaves” :
A shout out to Mike Ameel for hearing this one and sending it in.
I can’t put my tongue on it
Posted: January 21, 2019 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: can't put my finger on it, expressions, humor, idioms, language, malaphor, on the tip of my tongue, words Leave a commentA girl was asked what gift she wanted for Christmas. She couldn’t remember the name of the toy, and uttered this congruent conflation of “can’t put my finger on it” and “on the tip of my tongue”, both meaning something one can’t quite recall. Fingers have tips so perhaps that is what led to the speaker’s confusion. Or maybe she had watched too many reruns of the movie “A Christmas Story”. A big thanks to Hannah Evanuik for overhearing this one!
My old car shit the bucket
Posted: January 18, 2019 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: malaphor, expressions, words, idioms, wordplay, language, humor, shit the bed, kicked the bucket Leave a commentMaggie Acker uttered this beauty when talking about her car that stopped running. It is a congruent conflation of “kicked the bucket” and “shit the bed”, both idioms referring to something or someone that died or failed. “Shit the bed” is a relatively new idiom (I found it in the Wiktionary – https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/shit_the_bed ). It usually refers to something that breaks and can’t be repaired, like a cell phone. Interestingly, in the U.K, it means to express surprise. The mental mix up probably also was caused by the similar sounding words “kick” and “shit”. A big, big thanks to John Fischer who heard this one and passed it on.
Negotiating with Trump is like trying to talk to Jello
Posted: January 11, 2019 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: cnn, humor, idioms, language, malaphor, nail jello to the wall, Richard Blumenthal, talking to a wall, Trump, wordplay, words Leave a commentSenator Richard Blumenthal (D-CT) uttered this gem on CNN January 4, 2019. The context is regarding the recent Government shutdown over Trump’s proposed wall. This is a conflation of “like talking to a wall” (a futile conversation because the other party is not listening) and “like nailing Jello to a wall” (a futile attempt at something). Both idioms contain the word “wall” (appropriate in context, right?) and both concern something that is futile (a conversation or an attempt). A hat tip to Tom Justice for hearing this one!
The guardrails are coming off
Posted: January 9, 2019 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: cnn, expressions, humor, language, malaphor, off the rails, Trump, wheels are coming off, wordplay, words 2 CommentsA rose is a rose by any other name
Posted: January 4, 2019 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, Gertrude Stein, Hardball, humor, language, literature, malaphor, MSNBC, Shakespeare, words Leave a commentThis is a nice literary malaphor, uttered on the MSNBC show Hard Ball . It is a congruent conflation of Shakespeare’s “A rose by any other name” and Gertrude Stein’s sentence “a rose is a rose is a rose”, both interpreted as meaning things are what they are. A big thanks to Mike Kovacs for hearing this conflation of two famous lines in literature.
Trump is hunkering in
Posted: December 31, 2018 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: digging in, Elise Jordan, expressions, humor, hunkering down, language, malaphor, malaphors, MSNBC, Trump, wordplay, words Leave a commentThis was uttered by Elise Jordan on MSNBC, as she was describing Trump alone in the White House. It is a congruent conflation of “digging in” and “hunkering down”, both meaning to get started in working on something or alternatively to seek refuge in a particular place. A big thanks to Frank King for catching this one.
Whatever turns your boat
Posted: December 15, 2018 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: books, humor, language, malaphor, whatever floats your boat, whatever turns you on, wordplay Leave a commentOverheard at a WalMart at midnight: two women were talking about another woman’s unusual outfit and one of them uttered this classic malaphor. It is a congruent conflation of “whatever floats your boat” and “whatever turns you on”, both meaning whatever makes you happy. The phrases both begin with “whatever”, and with boats capsizing, you can see where the confusion arises. A big thanks to John Kooser who heard this one while doing some midnight shopping.
If you enjoyed this one, and are thinking about how to fill that Christmas stocking, why not get the malaphor book, “He Smokes Like a Fish and other Malaphors”? It’s available on Amazon for a cheap 7.99. Makes a great addition to any bathroom.






Recent Comments