trillion dollar deficits as long as the eye can see

This subtle mashup was uttered by Jim VandeHei, CEO of Axios, on the Morning Joe show.  It is a conflation of “as far as the eye can see” (extending to the farthest possible point) and “as long as” (considering the fact as).  A big thanks to Frank King, frequent malaphor contributor, for hearing this one.


I’m sweating like a stuck pig

Who hasn’t said this malaphor before?  I know I am guilty.  It is a conflation of “sweating like a pig” (to sweat profusely) and “bleeding (or squealing) like a stuck pig” (to make a loud shrill sound).  I suppose a stuck pig sweats a lot, so perhaps this one should be accepted, but bleeding or squealing seems to be associated with a stuck pig, unless you’re the poor guy in Deliverance.  The submitter of this nice malaphor thought perhaps the proper simile was “sweat like a hog”, but I think he just had Vinnie Barbarino and the rest of the gang from Kotter’s remedial class on his mind.  “The Sweathogs” was the delightful name appropriated to that lovable gang at James Buchanan High School.  A big thanks to Steve Messinger who unintentionally uttered this very popular malaphor.


I need to clear my chest

This one was heard on the TLC t.v. show, “My 600 lb. Life”.  In context, it is a congruent conflation of “clear the air” and “get it off my chest”, both meaning to discuss or otherwise confront a troubling situation.   Certainly weighing 600 pounds could be a troubling situation.  Of course, taken literally, one may want to try a steam shower or an inhaler for really nasty chest congestion.   A big thank you to regular malaphor contributor Mike Kovacs!


She needs to pull a trick out of her hat

This was uttered by the play by play commentator for the women’s cross country skiing race at this year’s Winter Olympics. It is a nice mash up of “trick up her sleeve” (secret advantage) and “pull a rabbit out of her hat” (to do something surprising or seemingly impossible).  Both idioms concern the element of surprise, and both involve tricks or magic.  A big thanks to Jake Holdcroft for hearing this one and passing it on!


Not to beat a dead dog, but….

During the Johns Hopkins/Loyola lacrosse game, the sports commentator was not wanting to repeat an earlier observation but did anyhow and prefaced the remark with this malaphor.  It is a mash up of “don’t beat a dead horse” (don’t wasted time repeating or saying something that has already been attempted or said) and “let sleeping dogs lie” (leave something alone that may cause trouble).  Dogs and horses, and sleeping and dying  seem to get confused a lot.  Another example of this is “let dead dogs sleep”, one of my earliest malaphors, posted in January 2013.  https://malaphors.com/2013/01/02/let-dead-dogs-sleep/  A big thanks to Jim Kozlowski for hearing this one and passing it on!

Not to beat a dead dog, but if you haven’t read my book on malaphors, “He Smokes Like a Fish and other Malaphors”, you need to!  It’s available on Amazon.  Just click on this link:  https://www.amazon.com/dp/0692652205.  They’re flying like hotcakes!

 

 


By the nick of their teeth

This is a nice congruent conflation of “in the nick of time” and “by the skin of their teeth” (just barely).  “Skin” and “nick” are both four letter words with a “k” and an “n”.  Kudos to Curioussteph for uttering this one unintentionally and sending it in.

 


To add salt to injury

This mixup was found in the following newspaper:
https://www.channelnewsasia.com/news/singapore/commentary-what-can-a-chief-commuter-engagement-officer-do-to-9928296

It is a congruent conflation of  “to rub salt in the wound’ and “to add insult to injury”, both meaning to deliberately make someone’s misfortune or unhappiness worse.  “Wound” and “injury” are similar meaning words, probably creating the mental mashup.  Now if the writer had written “add-in salt to injury” that would be an eggcorn.  An eggcorn is a similar sounding phrase spelled differently.   Because of the similar sounding words, this is a very common malaphor, with over 2,300,000 hits, according to Google.  A big thanks to Eve for spotting this one.


They make you jump through too much red tape

The speaker was referring to insurance companies.  This is a nice mix of “jump through hoops” (to complete or face many challenges to achieve something) and “red tape” (bureaucratic rules that are overly strict or tedious).  Both expressions refer to a series of challenges or events, contributing to the confusion.  “Cutting through red tape” is what the speaker really wants.  A big thanks to John Kooser for uttering this one and sending it in.


I couldn’t pass it down

Josh Taylor, weekend host of @937TheFan, a sports show in Pittsburgh, uttered this gem when discussing an opportunity that he didn’t think he had time for.  It is a blend of “pass it up” (skip or ignore)  and “turn it down” (to reject something).  The directions “up” and “down” in the idioms no doubt caused the confusion.  I have a hard time knowing what’s up and what’s down these days myself.  A big thanks to John Kooser who spotted this one!

Something you really can’t pass down is my malaphor book, “He Smokes Like a Fish and other Malaphors”, now on Amazon for a cheap 6.99.  Here is the link to non-stop hilarity: https://www.amazon.com/dp/0692652205


He’s not the brightest knife in the drawer

This was spoken by a radio host describing a politician.  It is a congruent conflation of “not the sharpest knife in the drawer” and “not the brightest bulb in the chandelier”, both describing someone who is not very intelligent.  Other similar idioms include “he’s one fry short of a Happy Meal”, “the elevator doesn’t go to the top floor”, and my personal favorite, “somewhere there’s a village missing its idiot”.

This malaphor is similar to several other postings on the same theme including “not the brightest tool in the shed”.  https://malaphors.com/2013/06/24/not-the-brightest-tool-in-the-shed/, and “not the sharpest bulb in the shed”, https://malaphors.com/2017/08/03/not-the-sharpest-bulb-in-the-shed/.   Thanks to Verbatim for sending this one in!