I’m not the sharpest tack in the drawer

The speaker was not feeling well and mentioned to someone about her mental acuity for the day.  This is an incongruent conflation (opposite meanings) of “not the sharpest knife in the drawer” (not very smart) and “sharp as a tack” (intelligent and quick thinking).  As everyone knows, there are many expressions out there describing the dull witted individual, and these expressions are often mixed up.  I have posted several of these mashups, including “not the brightest tool in the shed”,  https://malaphors.com/2013/06/24/not-the-brightest-tool-in-the-shed/,  “not the sharpest bulb in the shed”, https://malaphors.com/2017/08/03/not-the-sharpest-bulb-in-the-shed/, and “not the brightest knife in the drawer”, https://malaphors.com/2018/02/14/hes-not-the-brightest-knife-in-the-drawer/,  to name just a few.  A big thanks to Yvonne Stam for admitting she uttered this one and realizing it was a malaphor.


Giuliani blew his lid on that

This one was uttered by Lev Parnas, Rudy Giuliani’s assistant in the Rachel Maddow interview.  Here it is:

Lev was describing Giuliani’s reaction to hearing Ukranian President Zelensky’s decision not to announce an investifation specifically mentioning Joe Biden’s name.  It is a nice congruent conflation of ” “flipped his lid” and “blew his top/stack”, both meaning to become extremely angry or mad.   A huge thanks to Mike Kovacs for hearing this one and sending it in.


I’m not a poor loser

Yours truly uttered this one in a conversation about a current losing streak in trivia.  It is a congruent conflation of “sore loser” and “poor sport”, both describing a person who reacts negatively in a competition.  “Poor” and “sore” are similar sounding words, contributing to the mashup.  A big thanks to Elaine Hatfield for calling me out on this one.


You hit it right on the point

This one was uttered by Andy Brenner (National Alliance Securities) on CNBC, referring to a comment made by Rick Santelli.  It is a congruent conflation of “hit the nail on the head” and “on point”. both meaning to be exactly right, accurate, or perfect.  Nails have points so the mental hiccup occurred with that visual, presumably.  A big thanks to big brother John Hatfield for hearing this one and sending it in.  #RickSantelli #CNBC


People could be throwing risk to the wind

Jeremy Siegel, professor of finance at the University of Pennsylvania’s Wharton School of Business, expressed what he perceives as one of the biggest market risks in 2020, in an interview with Barron’s Group’s Market Brief, which aired on Monday. Here’s the whole sentence: “Actually, one of the dangers is that people could be throwing risk to the wind and this thing could be a runaway.” And here’s the source: https://www.marketwatch.com/story/man-who-called-dow-20000-says-one-of-the-biggest-stock-market-dangers-in-2020-is-people-could-be-throwing-risk-to-the-wind-2020-01-06.  This is a nice mashup of “throwing caution to the wind” (abandon one’s cautiousness in order to take a risk) and “taking (or running) a risk” (do something with a high probability of a negative outcome).  A big thanks to Barry Eigen for spotting this one and sending it in.  #JeremySiegel


That ought to hit the ticket

This was said, referring to something that should be successful.  It is a congruent conflation of “hit the mark” and “punch (one’s) ticket”, both meaning an action that leads to success (the latter to a promotion usually).  Hit the ticket has a nice ring to it.  A big thanks to Martin Pietrucha for texting this one and realizing it was a malaphor.


I know the material off the back of my hand

A daughter was telling her father about a recent test.  This is a mashup of “know it like the back of my hand” (extremely familiar with something) and “off the top of my head” (from memory without careful consideration).  Either this is a malaphor or maybe she actually had the materials written on her hand?  A big thanks to John Kooser for hearing this one.


A lot of Senators have reserved their fire

Jonathan Allen,  NBC News National Reporter, uttered this one on the Rachel Maddow Show.  He was talking about Republicans who might vote for rule changes in the upcoming impeachment trial of Trump.  This is a congruent conflation of “hold your fire” and “reserve judgment”, both meaning to postpone one’s criticism or commentary.  A big thanks to Frank King for hearing this one and passing it on.

You put your finger on the nail

2020 has started off on the right foot, malaphor wise.   On New Year’s Day, Christiane Amanpour said this beauty on CNN’s “New Day”.   Let’s go to the transcript:

http://www.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/2001/01/nday.04.html

It is a congruent conflation of “put your finger on it” and hit the nail on the head” (and “nailed it”), all meaning to describe a situation or problem exactly.  The speaker might have been thinking of fingernails when she uttered this one.  A big thanks to Ruth Dilts for nailing this one. @camanpour @NewDay


2019 Malaphor of the Year!

The countdown is over. It’s now time to reveal this year’s Malaphor of the Year.  But before I unveil this masterpiece, here are the winners of past years:

2015 – I have a pulse to the ground (Trumpaphor when he was on the campaign trail)

2016 – Let’s give them a round of hand! (submitted by Martin Pietrucha)

2017 – Welcome to my shoes (submitted by Steve Kovacs)

2018 – Whatever turns your boat (submitted by John Kooser)

This year’s winner combines an old and a new phrase, and just has a nice ring to it.  It was submitted last January by John Fischer.  Happy New Year!

My old car shit the bucket

Maggie Acker uttered this beauty when talking about her car that stopped running.  It is a congruent conflation of “kicked the bucket” and “shit the bed”, both idioms referring to something or someone that died or failed.  “Shit the bed” is a relatively new idiom (I found it in the Wiktionary – https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/shit_the_bed ).  It usually refers to something that breaks and can’t be repaired, like a cell phone.  Interestingly, in the U.K, it means to express surprise.  The mental mix up probably also was caused by the similar sounding words “kick” and “shit”.  A big, big thanks to John Fischer who heard this one and passed it on.