Some people live a long time even though they smoke like a haystack
Posted: August 31, 2019 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, humor, malaphor, needle in a haystack, smokes like a chimney, words Leave a commentThis one was uttered by Joe Starkey, a local sports radio commentator. It is a mashup of “smokes like a chimney” (smokes continually) and “needle in a haystack” (something that is very difficult to locate). My guess is that the speaker was thinking of “smokestack” and “haystack” bubbled to the surface. Also, haystacks give off a lot of smoke when burned. This one reminds me of the title of my malaphor book, “He Smokes Like a Fish and other Malaphors”, available on Amazon for a mere $7.99! A big thanks to John Kooser for hearing this one.
The President is having to deal with a den of vipers
Posted: August 28, 2019 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: den of iniquity, den of thieves, expressions, humor, malaphor, malaphors, nest of vipers, walking into the lions' den, words Leave a commentThis one was uttered by an evangelical Trump supporter. It is a congruent conflation of “a nest of vipers” and “a den of thieves”, both meaning a group of individuals suspected of underhanded dealings. “Den of iniquity” (a lot of immoral things happen there) might be in the mix, but I doubt it. “Waliking into the lions’ den” (place yourself in a dangerous situation) certainly is in play given the context and its Biblical roots. Here is the article where the malaphor is found: https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2019/08/14/evangelicals-view-trump-their-protector-will-they-stand-by-him/?wpisrc=nl_rainbow&wpmm=1
A big thanks to Barry Eigen for spotting this one!
I’m going to hang low at home today
Posted: August 26, 2019 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, feeling low, hang out, humor, language, lay low, malaphors, words Leave a commentThe speaker was not feeling well and uttered this nice mixup. It is a conflation of “hang out” (to engage in some some frivolous time wasting) and “lay low” (to be hidden or inconspicuous). “Feeling low” (feeling ill or sad) is probably also in the mix, considering the context. A big thanks to David Barnes for hearing this one and passing it on.
It’s not number one on the burner
Posted: August 21, 2019 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, humor, malaphor, malaphors, not number one on the list, not on the front burner, Trump, words Leave a commentThe Malaphorer in Chief, Donald Trump, uttered this beauty when he was discussing his idea to purchase Greenland. “It’s not number one on the burner, I can tell you that.” This is a congruent conflation of “not number one on the list” and “not on the front burner”, both meaning not a high priority. https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/kudlow-says-white-house-is-looking-at-trying-to-buy-greenland/2019/08/18/ab367b6c-c1bb-11e9-b5e4-54aa56d5b7ce_story.html.
This one was heard by several loyal malaphor followers, including Barry Eigen, Donna Calvert, and Frank King. This Trump malaphor is not the first. Check my book out, “He Smokes Like a Fish and other Malaphors” (available on Amazon) for more mashups from him. There are also many more on this blog. Search “Trump”.
They put me through hoops and ladders
Posted: August 19, 2019 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Chutes and Ladders, expressions, humor, jump through hoops, language, malaphors, put me through the ringer, words Leave a comment
He flows with the wind
Posted: August 16, 2019 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: blows with the wind, expressions, goes with the flow, malaphor, Max Rose, Trump, words Leave a commentThis was uttered by Congressman Max Rose (D-NY) on MSNBC’s Morning Joe show. Rose was talking about efforts to pass gun legislation and he said, referring to Trump, “this President, I believe, has no inner core beliefs. He flows with the wind.” This is a congruent conflation of “goes with the flow” and “blows with the wind”, both meaning to act according to prevailing circumstances rather than a consistent plan. “Blow” rhymes with “flow” which could have contributed to the mashup. A shout out to Mike Kovacs for hearing this one and sending it in. Picture suggested by Mike!
He’s walking on thin water
Posted: August 14, 2019 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: deep water, expressions, humor, malaphor, malaphors, walk on water, walking on thin ice, words 1 CommentThe speaker was talking about someone who needed to be careful. This is a mashup of “walking on thin ice” (to proceed with caution or great care) and I think “in deep water” (an overwheming situation) because of the context. However, “walk on water” (do something extraordinary or impossible) certainly should not be ruled out, as it is scrambled in the malaphor. A shout out to David Stephens who heard this one. David said that he recently slipped on a wet floor and broke his toe so this malaphor really resonated with him.
Did you like this malaphor? Catch ’em all in my book, “He Smokes Like a Fish and other Malaphors”, available on Amazon for a cheap 7.99 It’s a perfect addition to your bathroom library.
Impeachment is on a slow burner
Posted: August 12, 2019 Filed under: Uncategorized 1 CommentThis was uttered by political pundit Eleanor Clift on MSNBC. It is a mashup of “put (something) on the back burner” (to hold off on something or to postpone something) and “slow boil” (to do something gradually). Also in the mix is “slow burn” (slowly increasing anger). A big thanks again to Frank King, the guy who has ears like a hawk.
bottom of the pack
Posted: August 3, 2019 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: back of the pack, bottom of the barrel, expressions, humor, idioms, Joy Reid, language, malaphor, words 1 CommentJoy Reid on MSNBC was discussing the Democratic debate and the attacks from those candidates with the least to lose, referring to them as “those polling at the bottom of the pack”. This is a mashup of “back of the pack” (last ones) and “bottom of the barrel” (least desirable). I suppose this malaphor fits if you are referring to playing cards, or when you have been binge swiping on Tinder and have run out of people – see Urban Dictionary https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=bottom%20of%20the%20pack
A shout out to Frank King, a malaphor spotting regular. Good ear, Frank!
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