Some people live a long time even though they smoke like a haystack

This one was uttered by Joe Starkey, a local sports radio commentator.  It is a mashup of “smokes like a chimney” (smokes continually) and “needle in a haystack” (something that is very difficult to locate).  My guess is that the speaker was thinking of “smokestack” and “haystack” bubbled to the surface.  Also, haystacks give off a lot of smoke when burned.  This one reminds me of the title of my malaphor book, “He Smokes Like a Fish and other Malaphors”, available on Amazon for a mere $7.99!  A big thanks to John Kooser for hearing this one.