We’ll be buttoning down the hatches
Posted: September 25, 2017 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: batten down the hatches, button up, expressions, humor, hurricane Irma, language, malaphor, malaphors, Weather Channel, words 1 CommentMayor Randall Henderson, Jr. Of Fort Myers, FL uttered this one on The Weather Channel as the city was bracing for hurricane Irma. It is a nice mix up of “batten down the hatches” (to prepare for a challenging situation) and “button up” (to close something, usually a space, securely). One might argue that this is just a malaprop, confusing batten with button. However, as Malaphor King, I determine that it is a malaphor. The speaker might have been confusing up with down, and he was referring to the city needing to secure itself for the impending storm, hence the idea of buttoning up something. A big thanks to Steve Kovacs for hearing this one and sending it in.
It’s dead as a cucumber
Posted: September 23, 2017 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Chris Matthews, cool as a cucumber, dead as a door nail, expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, Trump, wordplay, words Leave a commentChris Matthews from MSNBC was referring to the Graham-Cassidy Health Bill when he uttered this beauty. He immediately realized his mistake and then said “dead as a door nail” but it was too late. The malaphor is in the books. It is a mashup of “dead as a door nail” (undoubtedly dead) and “cool as a cucumber” (extremely calm and in control of your emotions). Certainly when you are dead you are pretty cool temperature-wise. Perhaps this is what Mr. Matthews was thinking. I’m glad cucumbers are dead. I still remember live tomatoes in the movie “Attack of the Killer Tomatoes.” A big thanks to “my ol’ pal” Beatrice Zablocki for hearing this one and passing it on quickly.
Liked this one? Order my book “He Smokes Like a Fish and other Malaphors” for more. Available on Amazon. Click on http://www.amazon.com/dp/0692652205
Don’t count your eggs before you put the basket down
Posted: September 18, 2017 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: don't count your chickens before they hatch, don't put all your eggs in one basket, expressions, humor, malaphor, malaphors, words 1 CommentThis sage piece of advice was given by the contributor’s ex. It is a nice mashup of “don’t count your chickens before they hatch” (don’t make plans based on future events that might not happen) and “don’t put all your eggs in one basket” (don’t focus all your attention one thing or area). Both phrases start with “don’t” and both involve hens (chickens and eggs) so there is bound to be confusion. Apparently after saying this he rationalized the phrase by noting some eggs may fall out or break as you’re putting the basket down. This is true. Thanks to Zozie for sharing this one!
You walk that balance
Posted: September 15, 2017 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: balance, expressions, humor, malaphor, malaphors, Neil Huntington, Pittsburgh Pirates, walk a fine line, words Leave a commentPittsburgh Pirates General Manager Neil Huntington on his pregame show was asked how he can juggle playing to win vs giving inexperienced players a chance to play. He answered, “You walk that balance.” This is a combo of “walk that fine (or thin) line” (balance two competing ideas or groups) and “balance (something) against (something else)”, meaning to compare two things, typically one positive and one negative. in order to make a decision). This is a subtle but excellent conflation, as the two ideas involve competing ideas. Also, the speaker may have been thinking of gym class, walking the balance beam in gymnastics class. A shout out to Bob Marchinetti for hearing this one.
That went over like a lead brick
Posted: September 14, 2017 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, hit me like a ton of bricks, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, went over like a lead balloon, words Leave a commentThis was overheard at a meeting. It’s a nice mashup of the phrases “went over like a lead balloon” (to fail completely or go over badly) and I think “it hit me like a ton of bricks” (surprised or shocked). “Drop a brick” (to announce a surprising bit of news) might also be in the mix. And yes, lead bricks are manufactured – see http://ultraray.com/products/lead-bricks?utm_source=bing&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=Ultraray&utm_term=lead%20bricks&utm_content=Lead%20Bricks
A big thank you to Jenny Hensley who dropped this one on me!
He was a sitting deer
Posted: September 12, 2017 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: deer in the headlights, expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, Pittsburgh Panthers, sitting duck, words Leave a commentThis one was uttered on the radio by the color commentator for the Pittsburgh Panthers football team. He was describing a Youngstown receiver who was standing still. It is a nice mashup of “sitting duck” (someone who is vulnerable to an easy attack) and “deer in the headlights” (of a paralyzed or frozen manner due to shock or bewilderment). Deers and ducks are often confused, right? Pittsburgh is deer hunter territory, so the speaker may have been thinking of upcoming deer season and an easy target. A big thanks to Mike Ameel for hearing this one and passing it on!
They sold me down the creek without a paddle
Posted: September 5, 2017 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, sold down the river, up a creek without a paddle, words Leave a commentThe contributor does not recall where she heard this one, but it’s certainly worthy of a post. This is a mashup of “they sold me down the river” (betray) and “up a creek without a paddle” (having difficulty or being in a difficult position). Creeks and rivers seem to be the culprit here. Not sure what the speaker intended here, as this is an incongruent conflation (mixing of two phrases with different meanings). I posted an earlier malaphor that is similar and is a congruent conflation (mix of two phrases with the same or similar meaning): “Up a tree without a paddle”. https://malaphors.com/2012/09/26/up-a-tree-without-a-paddle/
Interestingly, the expression “sold down the river” dates from the mid- 1800s, and alludes to slaves being sold down the Mississippi River to work as laborers on cotton plantations. Its figurative use dates from the late 1800s.
A big thanks to Jennifer Diello for hearing this one and passing it on.
The world is going to shit in a handcart
Posted: September 3, 2017 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, going to hell in a handbasket, going to shit, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, Trump, words 3 CommentsThis colorful malaphor was uttered by someone referring to the Trump presidency. It is a nice congruent conflation of “gone to shit” and “going to hell in a handbasket (or handcart)” both meaning a person or system is in a bad state and getting worse. This malaphor is very similar to a previous one posted, “the project is going to pot in a handbasket” (9/15/02). https://malaphors.com/2012/09/15/the-project-is-going-to-pot-in-a-handbasket/ A big thanks to Kerry Reynolds for hearing this one and passing it on.
The White House is lying its teeth off
Posted: September 1, 2017 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Daily Beast, expressions, humor, language, lying through your teeth, lying your ass off, malaphor, malaphors, MSNBC, Rachel Maddow Show, words Leave a commentThis was heard on the Rachel Maddow Show from Astajuan Subasang of the Daily Beast, who was talking about Gorka leaving the Trump Administration: “…the White House is lying its teeth off.” This is a nice mashup of “lying through your teeth” (telling someone something that you know is completely false) and “lying your ass off” (lie continually). I suppose if you can lie your ass off it is not hard to think you can do the same with your teeth. A big thanks to Frank King who heard this one and passed it on!
I’ll throw them out; they’re on their last knees
Posted: August 30, 2017 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, on its knees, on its last legs, words 2 CommentsWe do seem to mix body parts in phrases, don’t we? This one was uttered when doing some spring cleaning. It is a mix of “on its knees” (in a weakened or desperate state) and “on its last legs” (about to stop working). And make sure you throw out those jeans with holes in the knees! A big thanks to Kerry Reynolds who heard this one and passed it on!
Malaphors 
Recent Comments