It’s as clear as a bone this morning

That was the weather report from local channel KDKA in Pittsburgh yesterday.  This is a mash up of “as dry as a bone” (extremely dry) and “clear as a bell” (very clear).  The weatherman was discussing a very clear and dry (little humidity) day and managed to describe both in one nice malaphor!  I think this should be in our standard lexicon to describe those beautiful clear, dry days, don’t you?  Hats off to Bill Shaffer who heard this beauty.

clear-bone


Some are riding the fence

This well-crafted mixed idiom appeared in the Washington Post.  The author, Callum Borchers, was discussing the issue of where Republicans who are seeking office stand on supporting Donald Trump.  “In future elections, Republicans seeking office will have to answer an important question: Where did you stand on Donald Trump?  Some seem acutely aware of this looming litmus test and are riding the fence.”

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/2016/08/28/a-lot-of-conservative-pundits-have-hitched-their-stars-to-donald-trump-what-if-he-loses/

This is a mash up of “sitting on the fence” (not taking sides in a dispute) and “riding it out” (continue working through something unpleasant or dangerous).  The author might also have been thinking of “riding the pine” (in sports, to remain sitting on the bench), as it involves sitting.  In researching this curious malaphor, I found that the idiom actually is used in St. Maarten.  On that beautiful island, the airport is situated right off the beach. Tourists hold onto a fence as the planes take off and land just feet above them, hence the expression “riding the fence.”

A tip of the hat to frequent malaphor contributor John Costello for spotting this one and sending it on!

Don’t ride the fence any longer: Buy the new malaphor book, He Smokes Like a Fish and other Malaphors, available NOW on Amazon! Click here: http://www.amazon.com/dp/0692652205


Hillary Clinton is in the process of refudiating everything that Mr. Trump says

This nice word blend malaphor was uttered by Sean Jackson, chairman of the Florida Black Republican Caucus and Trump supporter, on MSNBC’s Hardball.  Mr. Jackson stated, “Hillary Clinton is in the process of refudiating everything that Mr. Trump says by trying to make him out to be the bigot.” See http://www.msnbc.com/transcripts/hardball/2016-08-26

This is a mash up of “repudiating” (rejecting the validity or authority) and “refuting” (proving or saying that something is not true).   Word blend malaphors are an interesting subset of idiom blend malaphors.  There are quite a few posted on this website.  A shout out to Sam Edelmann who heard this one and passed it on!

If you liked this malaphor from the political world, you will want to get the book “He Smokes Like a Fish and other Malaphors”, available on Amazon!  There is a whole chapter devoted to mash ups from politics.

sean-jackson


I’m going to move out and fly the nest

This one seems appropriate for this time of year when kids are leaving for college.   That’s exactly what led to this nice malaphor uttered by a smart and talented young lady leaving for college.  It is a conflation of “fly the coop” (to escape or to get away) and “leave the nest” (to leave your parents’ house and live independently).  Both phrases involve leaving from somewhere, and coops are where chickens live and have nests, hence the confusion of coops and nests.  A big thanks to Marianne Julian for hearing this one from her daughter and passing it on!

Want a quick read while the kids are away at school?  Try my malaphor book, “He Smokes Like a Fish and other Malaphors”, available on Amazon!

fly-the-nest


He is getting paid under the pocket

This malaphor is a mash up of “getting paid under the table” (money paid secretly and illegally) and perhaps “out of pocket” (lacking money) because it refers to money.  However, there might be other idioms at play here.  “Lining one’s own pockets” might be in the mix, as it means making money for oneself in a greedy or dishonest fashion.  Certainly money under the table is taken dishonestly.  “Money burns a hole in one’s pocket” could also be in the speaker’s mind, as it refers to someone who spends money as soon as it is earned.   Then there is “pocket money” (cash for incidental expenses) again referring to finances.  Actually, there are a lot of phrases involving pockets that refer to money.  The speaker might also have been thinking of a game of pool, which involves a table and pockets.  And that gets me to the phrase “pocket pool”, which I will refrain from defining as this is a G rated website (at least sometimes).    Kudos to Vicki Ameel-Kovacs for hearing this one and sending it in!

Did you enjoy this one and my explanation?  If so you will love my book, He Smokes Like a Fish and other Malaphors, now available on Amazon at http://www.amazon.com/dp/0692652205 or CreateSpace at www.createspace.com/5793567.  It’s only 6.99 and makes a trip to the bathroom even more enjoyable.


Can someone help us without going through all these hoops and whistles?

It’s hard to keep track these days of all those bells, hoops, whistles, and hurdles.  This gem was written in an email expressing frustration.   It is a mash up of “jumping through hoops” (having to do extra things in order to do something you want) and “bells and whistles” (fancy add-ons or gadgets).  Both phrases refer to “extra things” which I think is the cause of the conflation.  Also, perhaps the writer had an image of a dog jumping through a hoop, and being trained by a whistle?  A tip of the hat to Paula Fow Atchison, who saw this one and passed it on.

dog-through-hoop


I am free as a bell

With a gala postponed, her calendar was suddenly empty.  When her friend asked if she was available on a certain date, the speaker uttered this nice malaphor.  This is a conflation of “free as a bird” (completely free to do anything without any worries) and “clear as a bell” (very clear).  The similar sounding and looking words “bell” and “bird” no doubt caused the confusion.  A shout out to Susan Ivison for saying this one and passing it on!

If this one left you ringing with laughter, check out my book on malaphors:  “He Smokes Like a Fish and other Malaphors”, available on Amazon NOW at http://www.amazon.com/dp/0692652205!


Rusty is cowarding in the bathroom

Linda Bernstein, loyal malaphor follower, related this one from the Fourth of July. Fireworks were being set off all around, and Rusty the dog hid away in the interior bathroom to get away from the loud noises.    Her grandson Nick then exclaimed that “Rusty is cowarding in the bathroom”.    This is a nice word blend of cowering and coward.   Cowards do often cower, and the words sound similar, so the mix up is a perfect blend.    As many of you know, most malaphors are idiom blends but once in awhile two words are blended together to make a nice word blend malaphor.  These are very different than portmanteaus, as I have explained in previous posts.  A hat tip to Linda Bernstein for sending this beauty in!


He’s a man without an island

Two buddies at dinner were discussing a young major-league baseball player who was being sent down to the AAA team and refused to report to minor league city as a protest for being demoted.  Considering that the player now had no team to play for now and that the team was going to drop him as a result, he was referred to as “a man without an island”.   This is a nice mash up of “man without a country” (expatriate or exile) and  “no man is an island” (human beings necessarily depend on one another).   A big thanks from the malaphor skipper to my little buddy Mike Kovacs for hearing this one and passing it on!

gilligan


I’m on top of the moon!

This one comes straight from the recent Olympics, courtesy of CBS news.  After Usain Bolt won yet another gold medal, a spectator was interviewed and exclaimed “I’m on top of the moon.”  This is a congruent conflation of “on top of the world” and “over the moon”, both meaning to be extremely excited and happy.  All he needed to add was “Ma.”  My guess is that if Neil Armstrong knew about malaphors, he would have said this beauty instead of that “one small step” crap.  A big thanks to Sam Edelmann, whose keen hawk ears heard this one and passed it on.
Want to really feel on top of the moon?  Then read He Smokes Like a Fish and other Malaphors, available on Amazon now!!
usain bolt