It’s as clear as a bone this morning

That was the weather report from local channel KDKA in Pittsburgh yesterday.  This is a mash up of “as dry as a bone” (extremely dry) and “clear as a bell” (very clear).  The weatherman was discussing a very clear and dry (little humidity) day and managed to describe both in one nice malaphor!  I think this should be in our standard lexicon to describe those beautiful clear, dry days, don’t you?  Hats off to Bill Shaffer who heard this beauty.


I am free as a bell

With a gala postponed, her calendar was suddenly empty.  When her friend asked if she was available on a certain date, the speaker uttered this nice malaphor.  This is a conflation of “free as a bird” (completely free to do anything without any worries) and “clear as a bell” (very clear).  The similar sounding and looking words “bell” and “bird” no doubt caused the confusion.  A shout out to Susan Ivison for saying this one and passing it on!

If this one left you ringing with laughter, check out my book on malaphors:  “He Smokes Like a Fish and other Malaphors”, available on Amazon NOW at!