I want to get the elephant out of the room

This was uttered in a general session meeting at a conference.  The speaker was trying to raise an issue that was well-known to all but was avoided in discussion.  I believe it is a mashup of “the elephant in the room” (a serious problem that everyone is aware of but choose not to mention) and “out in the open” (expose something for public knowledge).  The beauty of this malaphor is that it contains idioms that are opposites: one exposing something that is hidden and the other keeping something hidden that should be exposed.  “Out on the table” might also be in the mix.
As any loyal malaphors.com follower knows, idioms involving elephants are frequently mixed.  Type in “elephant” and see the many posts.  There is also a chapter in my book, “He Smokes Like a Fish and other Malaphors” (Amazon) devoted to elephants.  A big thanks to John Costello for hearing this one and sharing it.  Also a big thanks to Cheryl Rosato for her “elephant in the room” drawing and for illustrating the malaphor book!

The last thing we need to do is monkey this up

Ron DeSantis, the Republican candidate for governor of Florida, uttered this one on Fox when asked about his Democrat opponent, Andrew Gillum:  “The last thing we need to do is to monkey this up by trying to embrace a socialist agenda with huge tax increases and bankrupting the state.”  https://www.cnn.com/2018/08/29/politics/ron-desantis-andrew-gillum-attack/index.html

https://www.politico.com/story/2018/08/29/ron-desantis-andrew-gillum-monkey-florida-elections-801685

Putting aside the controversy swirling around this utterance, I believe it is a malaphor, as the phrase “monkey this up” does not exist.  Instead, it is a mash up of “monkey around” (waste time or procrastinate) and “muck (it) up” (to ruin or mess something up).  Muck and monkey have similar sounds, perhaps contributing to this mix up.  A partial shout out to Mike Kovacs who deconstructed this with me today. @RepDeSantis @AndrewGillum

 


He can drink anybody under the bus

This was overheard at the Hillstone Restaurant, Winter Park FL. A very drunk lady was talking to her friend.  It is a mashup of “drink someone under the table” (to drink more alcohol than someone else) and “throw (someone) under the bus” (to exploit someone’s trust for one’s own purpose).  My guess is that the speaker was thinking of a bus boy, someone who cleans tables at a restaurant.  This is the connection between bus and table.  Also, “under” is in both expressions, no doubt contributing to the mental mix up.  A big thanks to Tom Justice for hearing this one and sending it in!

If you liked this beauty you’ll love my book on malaphors, “He Smokes Like a Fish and other malaphors”, available on Amazon. On sale right now for $6.99!!  https://www.amazon.com/dp/0692652205


They don’t want to count their chickens before they roost

Zerlina Maxwell on MSNBC’s “Live with Katie Tur” uttered this beauty when she was talking about Democrats avoiding calls for impeaching Trump.  This is a barnyard mashup of “don’t count your chickens before they hatch” (don’t make future plans before they happen) and “chickens come home to roost” (you have to face the consequences of your mistakes).  “Chickens” of course are the culprit here, contributing to the mental yolk.  These  fowl phrases seem to get mixed up a lot  – see “Never count your eggs before they hatch (July 9, 2012 post) , and “Might the roosters be guarding the henhouse?” (August 2, 2014 post).  I was eggcited when several people laid this one on me.  First was the ubiquitous Mike Kovacs, followed quickly by James Kozlowski and Bob Maxwell.  Malaphor spotters are everywhere it seems.

 


They would throw him to the fishes

Representative Steve Cohen (D – TN) was talking on MSNBC about the New York Times report that White House counsel Don McGahn has been cooperating with the Mueller investigation team for the past year.  Cohen was speculating that McGahn felt at risk of Trump using him as a fall guy in the obstruction of justice probe, and so uttered this beauty.  It is a mashup of “thrown to the wolves” (to sacrifice someone in order to protect others) and “swimming (or sleeping) with the fishes” (a gangster cliche meaning to be murdered).  Both idioms refer to a person who gets hurt; hence, the mix up.  Cohen may also have been thinking about the mafia way of doing business and the White House way of doing business.  A big thanks to chief malaphor hunter Mike Kovacs for hearing this one and sending it in.


Facebook is the 10,000 pound canary in the coal mine

Tom Merritt of APR’s Marketplace on NPR Morning Edition, Daily Tech News uttered this one.  One of the criteria for a malaphor is that it is unintentionally said; a mental mishap so to speak.  However, I have made an exception with this one as it is very clever.  It appears Mr. Merritt was saying this intentionally, as he was talking about Facebook policing its advertising, and whether the latest transparency move was significant. They don’t want to talk about it; they’re being forced to talk about it. We don’t have a clear way of knowing whether our privacy is being protected..

It is a mashup of “canary in a coal mine” (early warning of possible adverse conditions or danger), “the 800 pound gorilla” (a person or group so powerful it does not need to heed to the rules) and “the elephant in the room” (a problem that everyone is aware but choose to ignore and not mention).  Elephants, gorillas, and canaries all in one phrase!  A huge thanks to Sally Adler for hearing this one and passing it on!


The President calls the ball

This delightful malaphor was uttered by Secretary of State Pompeo during a Senate hearing.  He was responding to a number of comments regarding the President’s rhetoric being inconsistent with what his subordinates are actually doing.  Here is the context:
“You basically have two different foreign policies in the United States, you have the foreign policy of the Trump administration and you have the foreign policy of President Trump himself,” historian Max Boot told CNN’s Brooke Baldwin on Thursday.
“What the President says and does is ultimately more important that what people underneath him are doing,” he continued. “They are not getting a unity of purpose and they are not getting a consistent message out because the President is completely at odds with his own government.”
Administration officials dismiss such commentary, either denying there is a gap between the President and his subordinates or insisting that he alone sets administration policy.
Pompeo faced repeated variations of this question during a fiery Senate Foreign Relations Committee hearing last month.
The President calls the ball. His statements are in fact policy,” Pompeo said. “This President runs this government. His statements are in fact US policy.”  https://www.cnn.com/2018/08/03/politics/russia-election-interference-white-house-response-trump/index.html
This is a congruent conflation of “calls the shots” and “has the ball”, both meaning to be in command to make decisions.  “Calls the play” might also be in the mix.  My guess is that the speaker was also thinking of the idiom “calls the strikes and balls”, again meaning to make the decisions (like an umpire in baseball).  A shout out to Vicki Ameel-Kovacs for hearing this one on MSNBC and sharing it.

I’m just waiting for the next ball to drop

This was uttered in an interview.  It is a mash up of “wait for the other shoe to drop” (wait for the next seemingly unavoidable thing to happen” and “drop the ball” (make a mistake).  The speaker may have been thinking of the New Year’s Eve ball in Times Square, and waiting for it to drop to usher in the new year.  Or perhaps the Road Runner cartoon where the anvil eventually drop on his head.  “Drop” is the culprit here, appearing in both idioms.  This malaphor seems very appropriate these days in the U.S.  A big thanks to Sam Edelmann who heard this one and dropped it on me.


Now we get into the heat of the meat

Stephen Colbert, in his 7/25/18 monologue, uttered this one when discussing the Cohen tape on the Trump payoff of the McDougall matter.  Here’s the link to the video:

https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x6q7km5

It is a mashup of “in the heat of the moment” (doing something without thinking) and “the meat of the matter” (the most important or essential element of an issue or problem).  “Heart of the matter” (same definition as “meat of the matter”) might also be in play, as “heart” and “heat” are similar in sound and looks.  A big thanks to Sam Edelmann for hearing this one and sending it in.


I set the die that day

Sean Spicer​, during an interview with the BBC, regretted his poor performance in discussing the size of the Trump inauguration crowd ​on his first day as Press Secretary.  he then uttered this classic.  It is a mashup of “set the tone” (establish the manner in which something will be conducted) and “the die is cast” (a course of action is finalized).  My guess is that the speaker was thinking of die casting, the process used to produce metal parts.  Given the amount of lies from Mr. Spicer’s boss’s lips in the past two years, I think he definitely set the die.

“My Ol’ Pal” has a slightly different take.  She says: “When Julius Caesar crossed the Rubicon, he was said to have stated “The die is cast,” meaning that he had decided the fate of Rome. Perhaps Sean Spicer was thinking that he had determined the future of the administration’s falsifications with his pronouncement about the size of the crowd at the inauguration.”  Indeed.  For the quote, see 3:55 mark at:   https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p06fkvhp

A big thanks to David Barnes for hearing this one and sending it in.