I was going to shoot from the gut
Posted: April 26, 2015 Filed under: ACTION, shoot | Tags: expressions, gut reaction, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, shoot from the hip, words 2 CommentsThis gem was said in reaction to helping a family friend, and the speaker wanted to be as spontaneous as possible. It is a blend of two phrases, “shoot from the hip”, and “a gut reaction”, both relating to doing or saying something quickly, or immediately responding. Of course, shooting from the gut also occurs after too much partying. A big thank you to Nate Brogin for uttering this one and passing it on!
That money was pissed out the window
Posted: April 24, 2015 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: congruent conflations, expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, out the window, pissed away, words Leave a commentThis is a congruent conflation of “pissed away” and “thrown out the window”, both meaning something wasted or gone. The context was some friends discussing wasted money. A big thanks to Andy Wakshul for hearing this one and sending it in. As he said, “You wouldn’t want to walk past that window when they were spending money.” True dat.
It was like pulling blood out of a stone
Posted: April 23, 2015 Filed under: ACTION, pull, stone, THINGS | Tags: congruent conflation, expressions, getting blood from a stone, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, pulling teeth, words Leave a commentThis is a perfect congruent conflation. It mixes “getting blood out of (or from) a stone” and “like pulling teeth”, both phrases meaning to do something with great difficulty. The speaker was finding a particular essay difficult to write and remarked that writing it was like pulling blood out of a stone. A big thanks to Red C. for sending this one in from the U.K.
He who hesitates doesn’t get the early worm
Posted: April 22, 2015 Filed under: ANIMALS, bird, worms | Tags: early bird catches the worm, expressions, he who hesitates is lost, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, mixed idioms, words Leave a commentFollowers may recall a recent post from Marykathryn, who was described as “The Norma Crosby of Malaphors”, and who uttered the classic “do you think I would paint myself in a corner and throw away the key?” She now has sent another classic, spoken out of exasperation. Her husband apparently is a slow and cautious driver. He was trying to make a right hand turn onto a busy road and missed at least three chances that Norma Crosby perceived. So, she calmly said to him, “You know Danny, he who hesitates doesn’t get the early worm.” This is a conflation of “he who hesitates is lost” (people should act decisively) and “the early bird catches the worm” (the one who arrives first has the best chance for success). It is somewhat congruent as both proverbs relate to acting quickly to achieve success. Trivia tidbit – The Early Worm Gets the Bird was the name of a Merrie Melodies 1940s cartoon by the great Tex Avery. A big thank you to Marykathryn for sending this one in!
They gave us an opportunity to learn by fire
Posted: April 21, 2015 Filed under: fire, THINGS | Tags: baptism by fire, expressions, humor, language, learn by example, malaphor, malaphors, words Leave a commentThe (un)Civil Professor of Malaphors, Martin Pietrucha, strikes again with this beauty overheard at a conference. It is a perfect mash up of “learn by example” (educated by watching someone or something) and “baptism by fire” (a first experience of something, usually difficult). “Under fire” (criticized) might also be in the mix, although I think the shared word here is “by”.
Do you think I would paint myself in a corner and throw away the key?
Posted: April 20, 2015 Filed under: ACTION, throw | Tags: expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, paint oneself in a corner, throw away the key, words Leave a commentThis is not a mix or conflation but rather a combination of two idioms, resulting in a very good malaphor. The speaker states that she has a habit of mixing expressions and her husband calls her the Norm Crosby of malapropisms. Actually this one is a malaphor and not a malaprop, so perhaps she is the Norma Crosby of Malaphors? In any event, she said this one to her husband when he was questioning her decision on a particular case. She said, “How stupid do you think I am? Do you think I would paint myself in a corner and throw the key away?” That ended the argument because he was laughing so hard. The malaphor is a combination of “paint oneself in a corner” (get into a difficulty from which one can’t extricate oneself) and “lock someone up door and throw away the key” (incarcerate indefinitely). Thanks to MaryKathryn for unintentionally uttering this one and sending it in!
This provided me with a real springstone to learn this new position
Posted: April 19, 2015 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Bruce Springsteen, expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, springboard, stepping stone, words Leave a commentThis gem was heard by the (un)Civil Professor of Malaphors, Martin Pietrucha. This is a congruent conflation of “springboard” and “stepping stone”, both describing something that launches a career or activity. The word “springstone” reminded Martin of an old 80s EP record, Bruce Springstone: Live at Bedrock, which has a couple of songs on it done by the fictional Bruce Springstone who mashes up Springsteen and the Flintstones. Great listening if you have never heard it:
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I can’t keep my eyes awake
Posted: April 16, 2015 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, humor, keep your eyes open, language, malaphor, malaphors, peeled, stay awake, words 2 CommentsThe Mistress of Malaphors, Naomi David, strikes again with this gem uttered in a sleep deprived state. This is a combo of “keep one’s eyes open” (watchful and observant) and “wide awake” (fully alert) or “stay awake”. The picture below demonstrates the fine art of keeping one’s eyes awake. Keep ’em coming, Naomi! Thanks to Katie Hatfield for sending this one in!
I can’t put all my chickens in one basket
Posted: April 11, 2015 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: chicken, chicken basket, don't count your chickens before they hatch, eggs in one basket, expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, mixed idioms, words 2 CommentsWhich came first: the chicken or the egg? Seems like a difficult question given the amount of malaphors posted on this site involving barnyard animals and their offspring ( e.g., all your eggs lined up, too many eggs spoil the soup, and don’t count your chickens before they come home to roost, to name just a few). This beauty is a mash up of “don’t put all your eggs in one basket” (don’t make everything dependent on one thing) and “don’t count your chickens before they hatch” (don’t expect something before it happens). The speaker may have also been hungry and thinking of a chicken basket. Yum. Chicken in a basket used to be a pub favorite in England. Thanks to Jody Compton for hearing this one uttered by the wonderful actress Lara Hayhurst Compton!
Let’s not open up that can of bees
Posted: April 10, 2015 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: can of worms, expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, Robyn Hitchcock, stirring up a hornet's nest, The Soft Boys, words Leave a commentThis gem was heard at a meeting. It might be a mix of “opening up a can of worms” (getting into a set of difficult problems) and “stirring up a bees’ (or hornet’s) nest (create a lot of problems). I think opening up a can of beer might also be in this one, as opening up a can usually leads to a beer, and bee is just one letter shy. It’s also the title of a 1970s record by The Soft Boys. The Soft Boys were fronted by the great Robyn Hitchcock, as those who have any memory left from the 70s will recall. A big thanks to Michael Ameel for hearing this one and sending it in!
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