No malaphor today: A quarter of a million views milestone met
Posted: July 19, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized 6 CommentsA brief timeout from posting malaphors to announce that the website has passed the 250,000 views mark! This really is the piece de la resistance. Many thanks to my loyal followers and contributors. May you mix your metaphors on a regular basis!
They need to get their act in order
Posted: July 17, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: congruent conflation, expressions, get your act together, get your house in order, humor, language, malaphor, words Leave a commentYours truly blurted this one out to my wife who immediately said “malaphor” and wrote it down. It’s a congruent conflation of “get your act together” and “put your house in order”, both meaning to get organized. “Together” and “in order” have the same number of letters and sound similar, probably contributing to the mash up. This is a timely malaphor considering the upcoming general election.
I should thank my lucky chickens
Posted: July 15, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: chines zodiac, don't count your chickens before they hatch, earth chickens, expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, thank my lucky stars, words Leave a commentThis one seems to be a mash up of “thank my lucky stars” (to be thankful for one’s luck) and “don’t count your chickens before they hatch” (don’t make plans based on future events that might not happen). My guess is that the speaker might have been thinking of her childhood, having Chicken with Stars soup on a cold winter day or in bed sick with a fever. Or perhaps she was thinking of the Chinese zodiac and the earth chicken (1909, 1969, 2029), which are lucky with money. On the other hand, perhaps she had a lucky chicken! In any event, when she said it she had to send it to me immediately as she knew it must have been a mixed up phrase. A big thanks to Jillian Strayhorn for uttering this one and sending it in!
Feeling lucky? Buy the malaphor book, He Smokes Like a Fish and other Malaphors, authored by yours truly and available now on Amazon for a measly $6.99! Get it by clicking http://www.amazon.com/dp/0692652205
You can’t teach a caged bird to sing
Posted: July 13, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a commentThis is a blend of “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks” (can’t get people to change their habits or acquire a new skill) and “I know why the caged bird sings”, the title of the wonderful 1969 Maya Angelou autobiography. While the latter perhaps is not literally a cliche or idiom, I think this still constitutes as a malaphor. By the way, caged birds can be taught to sing, just as old dogs can learn new tricks. A shout out to Eric Soller for blurting this one out and Jen Soller for sending it in!
She won’t cross that path
Posted: July 11, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: cross that line, down that path, expressions, Howard Stern Show, humor, Jim Breuer, language, malaphor, malaphors, mixed idioms, words Leave a commentComedian Jim Breuer, during his interview on The Howard Stern Show, was talking about his daughter and her reluctance to do a certain thing. He said, “she won’t cross that path.” This is a conflation of “cross the line” (to change from being acceptable to unacceptable) and “go down that path (or road)” (to do a particular thing). Although not in context, the speaker may have been also thinking of “cross paths (with someone)” (meet someone by chance). A big thanks to Vicki Ameel Kovacs, a regular malaphor contributor and loyal follower!
The Howard Stern Show is a goldmine for malaphors, as noted in my book He Smokes Like A Fish and other Malaphors, available on Amazon for a mere 6.99! Check it out! Howard would be proud.
It’s no shirt off my back
Posted: July 8, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, puns, shirt off my back, skin off my back, skin off my nose, words Leave a commentA loyal malaphor follower and contributor, Josh Berry uttered this mixed idiom, attempting to say no skin off my back. It is a mash up of “no skin off my back (or nose)” (not offended or adversely affected by something), and “I’d give the shirt off my back” (give anything that is asked for, no matter the sacrifice). The words “off my back” seem to be the culprit here, appearing in both idioms. “By the skin of my teeth” also seems to be mixed up, based on an internet search, resulting in “it’s no skin off my teeth”. Anyone out there ever said that? I will give my shirt off my back to Josh for saying this one and sending it in (the shirt is a Penguins Stanley Cup champion shirt, however)!
Did you like this malaphor? Have you uttered mental hiccups before? Check out THE book on malaphors – He Smokes Like a Fish and other Malaphors, written by yours truly and priced cheap! Find it on Amazon at http://www.amazon.com/dp/0692652205
He dropped it like a lead potato
Posted: July 6, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: dropped like a hot potato, expressions, go over like a lead balloon, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, mixed idioms, words Leave a commentThis gem was uttered at school by a teacher discussing an administrative initiative. It is a mash up of “go over like a lead balloon” (to fail completely) and “dropped (someone or something) like a hot potato” (disassociate instantly). This malaphor might be describing both phrases together to illustrate staying away from a failure. Maybe the speaker is from Long Island, where residues of arsenic and lead were found in potatoes. http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/004565359400410V
A big thanks to Ann Lynn for hearing this one and sending it in!
I’m going to take a wild stab in the dark
Posted: July 5, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, shot in the dark, take a stab, wild guess, words Leave a commentA double malaphor? This beauty was said on a British show called “Tipping Point.” A contestant said “I’m going to take a wild stab in the dark.” This is a triple conflation of “wild guess”, “take (or make) a stab”, and “a shot in the dark”, all meaning a guess with very little assurance of its accuracy. Barry Eigen, who heard this, suggested that this was a double malaphor. I did post “wild stab” (https://malaphors.com/2013/11/07/just-a-wild-stab/) in 2013, but this one does add “in the dark”, creating a double malaphor. “A stab in the dark” is an accepted phrase, but adding the word “wild” to it makes it a juicy malaphor. A big thanks to Barry Eigen for hearing his one in London town and passing it on!
Hold your horses on
Posted: June 29, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: congruent conflation, expressions, hold your horses, humor, keep your britches on, language, malaphor, malaphors, mixed idioms, words Leave a commentThis is another “maraphor”. The speaker uttered this mix up, and then said, “I mean, keep your britches on.” This is a congruent conflation of “hold your horses” and “keep your britches (or pants) on”, both meaning to restrain yourself. Britches, or breeches, are pants used in riding horses so I can see where the speaker was confused. She probably visualized someone with breeches riding a horse. A big shout out to Marianne Julian who heard this and passed it on!
She hasn’t lost a beat
Posted: June 27, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, have not lost a step, have not missed a beat, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, words Leave a commentReferring to an elderly relative, this mix up was uttered by my wife and when she said it she immediately said, “write that down”. The best malaphors do go in one ear and out the other, and this one is no exception. Subtle, it is a mash up of “haven’t lost a step” (have not slowed down) and “not missed (or skipped) a beat” (no pause). Steps and beats go together so this one is a logical malaphor. Also, musicians sometimes lose the beat so the phrase is a real one in the musical world. A big thanks to Elaine Hatfield for blurting this one out!
You won’t lose a beat when you have a copy of He Smokes Like a Fish and other Malaphors available on Amazon for a cheap $6.99!
Malaphors 
Recent Comments