You still need boots on the pavement to gather the facts
Posted: July 7, 2013 Filed under: boots, pavement | Tags: blended idioms, boots, boots on the ground, expressions, humor, language, malaphors, mixed idioms, pavement, pounding the pavement, words Leave a commentThis malaphor was uttered by Carl Hiassen while being interviewed on Orlando’s local public radio station, WMFE. He was referring to the fact that even though many persons are now getting their news information from the internet instead of print newspapers, “you still need boots on the pavement to gather the facts.” This is a nice mash of “boots on the ground” (troops in place) and “pounding the pavement”.(walking the streets, particularly in looking for employment). A big thanks to Tom Justice for hearing this one!
Not the brightest tool in the shed
Posted: June 24, 2013 Filed under: bulb, shed, tool | Tags: blended idioms, bulb, conflations, humor, language, malaphors, mixed idioms, sharpest tool in the shed, shed, tool, words 2 CommentsThis is a mash up of “not the sharpest tool in the shed” and “not the brightest bulb in the chandelier” (or “not the brightest”), both idioms describing someone lacking in intelligence. Of course it had to be me who uttered this one to my wife who promptly pointed out the mix-up. It reminded me once again that I really am not the brightest tool in the shed.
I don’t want to toot my own hat
Posted: June 17, 2013 Filed under: CLOTHING, hat, horns, THINGS, toot | Tags: blended idioms, expressions, hat, horn, humor, Jean Quan, language, malaphors, mixed idioms, toot, toot your own horn, words Leave a commentThis malaphor was spoken by Jean Quan, the mayor of Oakland, and appeared in the October 2012 issue of San Francisco Magazine. She meant to say “toot my own horn” (brag), and I think mixed that up with “take my hat off” (pay respect to someone or brag on them), but it could be just a mix up of the visual at a birthday party with party hats and horns. “Feather in one’s cap” also comes to mind, as well as “tip my hand”. Any other suggestions out there would be welcome. A tip of the toque to Mike Kovacs for spotting this one.
I’ve seen the gamut
Posted: June 12, 2013 Filed under: gamut, run | Tags: blended idioms, expressions, humor, language, malaphors, mixed idioms, run the gamutd, words 1 CommentThis is a mixture of “run the gamut” and “seen it all”, both meaning to cover a wide range. This was heard at a legal conference where the speaker was referring to being involved in a wide range of cases and experiencing a lot. Thanks to John Costello for sending in this subtle but common gem.
Not to beat a broken record, but….
Posted: June 5, 2013 Filed under: beat, horse, record | Tags: beat a dead horse, blended idioms, broken record, conflations, horse, humor, language, malaphors, mixed idioms, record, words Leave a commentThis is a conflation of “beat a dead horse” and “sound like a broken record’, both meaning to do or say the same thing over and over again. The best malaphors are the ones mixing similar meaning phrases, and this is a good example. Kudos to Kevin Hatfield for uttering this unintentional masterpiece, and to Justin Taylor for recognizing it.
Right from the bat
Posted: May 23, 2013 Filed under: bat, THINGS | Tags: bat, blended idioms, expressions, humor, language, malaphors, mixed idioms, off the bat, right from the start, words Leave a commentThis congruent conflation mixes up “right from the start” and “right off the bat”, both meaning to do something immediately. A big thanks to Jake Holdcroft who heard this one spoken by a sportscaster during a Pittsburgh Penguins game intermission. See a similar malaphor – “right out of the bat” , posted October 27, 2012.
It’s locked in stone
Posted: May 20, 2013 Filed under: lock, stone | Tags: blended idioms, carved in stone, expressions, humor, language, lock, malaphors, mixed idioms, stone, words Leave a commentThis is a mash up of “locked in” and “written (or carved) in stone”, both meaning something permanent or not subject to change.
He really sold him under the bus
Posted: May 16, 2013 Filed under: bus, river | Tags: blended idioms, bus, expressions, humor, language, malaphors, mixed idioms, river, sold him up the river, threw him under the bus, words 1 CommentHave I found the new “master”? Actress Cristin Milioti said the following to People magazine:
“The other day I was chatting with my boyfriend,” she told Theater Mania, “and I said to him, ‘He really sold him under the bus.’ And he said, ‘I think you meant “threw him under the bus,” or “sold him up the river.” ‘ … It’s a constant problem. On my first date, my boyfriend asked me if I wanted to eat a la carte, and I said that I would prefer to stay inside! It’s really embarrassing.”
http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20700130,00.html?xid=rss-fullcontent
Cristin, do NOT be embarrassed by this wonderful gift you have received. On the contrary, continue to utter your wonderful malaphors so I can share them with the world. “To err is human; to malaphor, divine.”

Look who’s calling the kettle black
Posted: May 13, 2013 Filed under: black, kettle | Tags: black, blended idioms, congruent conflation, expressions, humor, kettle, language, malaphors, mixed idioms, pot, talk, words Leave a commentThis is a congruent conflation of “look who’s talking” and “that’s the pot calling the kettle black”, both referring to pointing out hypocritical behavior. The best and most common malaphors are mixtures of phrases that have the same or similar meaning.
You’ve got a chip up your ass
Posted: May 9, 2013 Filed under: ass, chip, stick | Tags: blended idioms, chip, chip on your shoulder, expressions, malaphors, mixed idioms, stick, stick up your ass, words 1 CommentI won’t reveal the source, but this is a mash up of “you’ve got a chip on your shoulder” (bad attitude) and “you’ve got a stick up your ass” (up tight). It also could describe the aftermath of gorging on a bag of Cape Cod potato chips in your underwear (never done that, just sayin’).
Recent Comments