You need to get your ass together

This is a mash up of “get your act/shit together” (get organized) and “get off your ass” (stop loafing and get to work).  Both idioms direct someone to get moving, invoking a congruent conflation.  Also ass and act are three letter words that have a similar sound.  Finally, the lower half of the body is at work here in both phrases.  Many thanks to Robyn Pietrucha for blurting this one out and passing it along!

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He just wanted to cover his neck

This is a mash up of “cover his butt (ass)” (make excuses or otherwise take action to avoid being blamed) and “don’t stick your neck out” (avoid risk).  This malaphor was said by a person describing his physician and the excessive treatment given.  I think it also applies to Congress lately…. A tip of the hat to JoErin O’Leary for sending this one in!


You’ve got a chip up your ass

I won’t reveal the source, but this is a mash up of  “you’ve got a chip on your shoulder” (bad attitude) and “you’ve got a stick up your ass” (up tight).  It also could describe the aftermath of gorging on a bag of Cape Cod potato chips in your underwear (never done that, just sayin’).