Not the brightest tool in the shed

Posted: June 24, 2013 | Author: | Filed under: bulb, shed, tool | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

This is a mash up of “not the sharpest tool in the shed” and “not the brightest bulb in the chandelier” (or “not the brightest”), both idioms describing someone lacking in intelligence.   Of course it had to be me who uttered this one to my wife who promptly pointed out the mix-up.  It reminded me once again that I really am not the brightest tool in the shed.

I don’t want to toot my own hat

Posted: June 17, 2013 | Author: | Filed under: CLOTHING, hat, horns, THINGS, toot | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment
English: Photo of Mayor Jean Quan from her 201...

English: Photo of Mayor Jean Quan from her 2010 Campaign (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This malaphor was spoken by Jean Quan, the mayor of Oakland, and appeared in the October 2012 issue of San Francisco Magazine.  She meant to say “toot my own horn” (brag), and I think mixed that up with “take my hat off” (pay respect to someone or brag on them), but it could be just a mix up of the visual at a birthday party with party hats and horns.  “Feather in one’s cap” also comes to mind, as well as “tip my hand”.   Any other suggestions out there would be welcome.  A tip of the toque to Mike Kovacs for spotting this one.

I’ve seen the gamut

Posted: June 12, 2013 | Author: | Filed under: gamut, run | Tags: , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

This is a mixture of “run the gamut” and “seen it all”, both meaning to cover a wide range.  This was heard at a legal conference where the speaker was referring to being involved in a wide range of cases and experiencing a lot.  Thanks to John Costello for sending in this subtle but common gem.

That was a mind changing experience

Posted: June 10, 2013 | Author: | Filed under: mind | Tags: , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

This is a mash up of “life changing” and “mind blowing”, both referring to powerful experiences.  Big thanks to Elly Pietrucha for sending this one in to Malaphor Central.

Not to beat a broken record, but….

Posted: June 5, 2013 | Author: | Filed under: beat, horse, record | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

This is a conflation of “beat a dead horse” and “sound like a broken record’, both meaning to do or say the same thing over and over again.  The best malaphors are the ones mixing similar meaning phrases, and this is a good example.  Kudos to Kevin Hatfield for uttering this unintentional masterpiece, and to Justin Taylor for recognizing it.

I finally got the monkey off my shoulders

Posted: June 3, 2013 | Author: | Filed under: back, monkey, shoulders | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment
The former logo of Mike and Mike in the Mornin...

The former logo of Mike and Mike in the Morning until May 4, 2007. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This is a mash up of “monkey off my back” and “a weight off my shoulders”, both meaning to get rid of a big problem.  Kudos to Mike Browning who heard this gem on the Mike & Mike talk show last week.   Tony Kanaan was talking about finally
winning the Indy 500, and said that the victory finally got “the monkey
off my shoulders.”  Malaphors occur frequently when there are two similar meaning idioms referring to body parts, particularly in close proximity.