He’s open game
Posted: August 5, 2017 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: 93.7 the Fan, expressions, fair game, humor, Josh Miller, language, malaphor, malaphors, open season, words Leave a commentThis perfectly formed malaphor was uttered by Josh Miller on the radio show The Fan on 93.7 in Pittsburgh (Miller was a former punter for the Pittsburgh Steelers and is now a sports commentator). Miller was discussing the crazy antics of a fan at a baseball game and the nasty comments directed at him. “Open game” is a mashup of “open season” (a period of time when everyone is criticizing someone or something) and “fair game” (something or someone who is considered permissible to attack). The speaker may have had deer season on his mind, thinking of open season on game? A big shout out to John Kooser who heard this one and sent it in!
It’s all water in the bucket
Posted: August 3, 2017 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: drop in the bucket, expressions, humor, malaphor, malaphors, water under the bridge, words Leave a commentThis was heard at a meeting. When the speaker was asked what he meant by that phrase, he said it was similar to the idea conveyed by the phrase “Every penny adds up””. However, it appears to be a malaphor, mixing “water under the bridge” (a prior issue that is now resolved) and “It’s a drop in the bucket” (a very small or unimportant amount). A tip of the hat to Raffi Tashjian for hearing this one and sending it in.
Not the sharpest bulb in the shed
Posted: August 3, 2017 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, not the brightest light bulb in the pack, not the sharpest tool in the shed, words 4 CommentsIn our continuing series of confused phrases describing not so intelligent people, Darleen DiGirolamo brings us this one from the website Lucid Nation. It’s a mash up of “not the sharpest tool in the shed” and “not the brightest bulb in the pack (or chandelier)”, both describing a slow-witted or dull person. There are lots of descriptions of slow-witted folk, and so they are bound to get mixed up in true malaphor fashion. Here are a few examples previously posted on this site:
“He wasn’t the brightest bulb in the basket”
“He’s not the sharpest light bulb in the pack”
You’re not the brightest toolbox in the shed”
“not the brightest tool in the shed”
A big thanks to Darleen DiGirolamo for spotting this one! @lucidnation
That’s the icing on the iceberg
Posted: August 1, 2017 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, humor, icing on the cake, language, malaphor, malaphors, tip of the iceberg, words Leave a commentFlipping through the AM stations, Paul Kaufman heard this gem. It is a nice mashup of “tip of the iceberg” (small portion of something much larger and complex that cannot yet be seen or understood) and “icing on the cake” (an extra enhancement). In this age of a heating planet, we could stand to have some more icing on our icebergs. Thanks to Paul Kaufman for hearing this one and sharing it!
I don’t want to go over the things Bob touched about
Posted: July 31, 2017 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, humor, malaphor, malaphors, talked about, touched on, words Leave a commentA speaker at a meeting blurted out this one. It is a nice mix of “touched on” and “talked about”. Those pesky prepositions confuse us, don’t they? A tip of the toque to the Professor of Malaphors, Martin Pietrucha for hearing this one and sending it in.
It blew me off of my feet
Posted: July 29, 2017 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: congruent conflation, Good Bones, HGTV, humor, it blew me away, it knocked me off my feet, language, malaphor, malaphors, wordplay, words Leave a commentThis very well-formed malaphor was uttered on the HGTV show, Good Bones. “I really didn’t know what to expect. It blew me off of my feet.” It is a congruent conflation (the best kind of malaphors, in my opinion) of “knocked me off my feet” and “it blew me away”, both meaning to cause someone great pleasure or surprise. Certainly a strong wind might blow one off one’s feet, but they stand a better chance of staying put if they have “good bones”. A tip of the hat to David Stephens for hearing this one and sending it in!
He’s a square shooter
Posted: July 28, 2017 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, fair and square, humor, John McCain, language, malaphor, malaphors, straight shooter, words Leave a commentThis was uttered by Mark Shields on the NPR News Hour, referring to John McCain. It is a congruent conflation of “straight shooter” and “fair and square”, describing a person who plays by the rules and is honest and trustworthy. Interestingly, a “square john” is someone who obeys the rules – http://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/square+john
Here’s to John McCain, a true American hero and certainly square shooter.
Tears were rolling down my eyes
Posted: July 26, 2017 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, eyes filled with tears, malaphor, malaphors, tears were rolling down my cheeks, words Leave a commentThis mix up is a combo of “tears were rolling down my cheeks” (excessive laughter) and “my eyes were filled with tears” (very sad). This is yet another body part mashup, a very common theme in malaphors. The mind is visualizing the face, and reaches for the wrong body part. A big thanks to Martin Pietrucha for blurting this one and sending it in!
It’s as easy as cake
Posted: July 24, 2017 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: a piece of cake, cakewalk, congruent conflation, easy as pie, expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, words Leave a commentThis is a perfect congruent conflation of “easy as pie” and “it’s a piece of cake”, both meaning a very easy task or accomplishment. Cakes and pies seem to be easily muddled in one’s mind, as can be seen in earlier posts containing pies and cakes (see, e.g, https://malaphors.com/2013/01/01/its-as-easy-as-falling-off-a-piece-of-cake/ and https://malaphors.com/2016/08/10/the-man-is-a-nut-cake/). “It’s a cakewalk” might also be in the mix, again meaning something easy. A tip of the hat to John Kooser for uttering this one and immediately sending it in! (malaphor rule #1 is write it down immediately after hearing or saying the malaphor as you will quickly forget it).
They waited until the eleventh minute
Posted: July 23, 2017 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: at the eleventh hour, at the last minute, congruent conflation, expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, words Leave a commentI promise you I don’t make these up. This was uttered in an administrative law judge hearing by the judge, exasperated by counsel’s not submitting evidence until the day of the hearing. It is a nice congruent conflation of “at the eleventh hour” and “at the last minute”, both meaning doing something at the last possible moment or opportunity. Confusing hours and minutes can be common when you are dealing with cases all day, and a massive docket. Or perhaps the judge is just a little particular. A shout out to Sam Edelmann who heard this one and passed it on!
Don’t wait until the eleventh minute to get my malaphor book, “He Smokes Like a Fish and other Malaphors”, available on Amazon right now! You will want to read it from front to cover.
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