I’m not one to wave the drum for feminism too often
Posted: May 4, 2015 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: beat the drum, expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, mixed idioms, wave the flag, words Leave a commentIn the course of discussing workplace politics, the speaker uttered this gem. It is a perfect congruent conflation of “wave the flag” and “beat the drum”, both meaning to promote or support someone or something. Question for the day: if a drum is waved, will anyone hear it? A tip of the hat to Laura for sending this one in!
I worked my butt to the bone
Posted: May 1, 2015 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, humor, Judge Judy, language, malaphor, malaphors, mixed idioms, words, worked my butt off, worked my fingers to the bone 2 CommentsI’ve heard “bad to the bone”, but “butt to the bone”? This hilarious, alliterative malaphor was uttered on a radio commercial promo for an upcoming Judge Judy show. It is a congruent conflation of “worked my butt off” and “worked my fingers to the bone”, both meaning to work extremely hard. Perhaps this should now be an expression used by workout trainers. A big thank you to Steve Grieme who heard this one and passed it on!
I know that area like the back of my neck
Posted: April 28, 2015 Filed under: BODY PARTS, hand, neck | Tags: back of my hand, expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, neck of the woods, words 1 CommentIn context, this seems to be a mash up of “(to know something) like the back of my hand” (to know a place very well) and “neck of the woods” (a region or locale in the country). The speaker was going to a party north of the city. When someone asked him if he knew how to get where it was being held, he said “Well, I know that area like the back of my neck”. Interesting thing is that he had never been in the area, but he had GPS. Of course, he might have been thinking that it was a “pain in the neck” to visit an area unfamiliar to him, or that neck and back are similar looking and sounding words, but who knows what lurks in the mind? Body parts, particularly the hands, are for some reason the source of many malaphors. I have posted several, including “I don’t know it off the top of my hand”, “I have it on the tip of my hand”, and the ever popular “we’ve got our hands cut out for us”. A big thanks to Joseph Newcomer for sending this one in!
I was going to shoot from the gut
Posted: April 26, 2015 Filed under: ACTION, shoot | Tags: expressions, gut reaction, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, shoot from the hip, words 2 CommentsThis gem was said in reaction to helping a family friend, and the speaker wanted to be as spontaneous as possible. It is a blend of two phrases, “shoot from the hip”, and “a gut reaction”, both relating to doing or saying something quickly, or immediately responding. Of course, shooting from the gut also occurs after too much partying. A big thank you to Nate Brogin for uttering this one and passing it on!
That money was pissed out the window
Posted: April 24, 2015 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: congruent conflations, expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, out the window, pissed away, words Leave a commentThis is a congruent conflation of “pissed away” and “thrown out the window”, both meaning something wasted or gone. The context was some friends discussing wasted money. A big thanks to Andy Wakshul for hearing this one and sending it in. As he said, “You wouldn’t want to walk past that window when they were spending money.” True dat.
It was like pulling blood out of a stone
Posted: April 23, 2015 Filed under: ACTION, pull, stone, THINGS | Tags: congruent conflation, expressions, getting blood from a stone, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, pulling teeth, words Leave a commentThis is a perfect congruent conflation. It mixes “getting blood out of (or from) a stone” and “like pulling teeth”, both phrases meaning to do something with great difficulty. The speaker was finding a particular essay difficult to write and remarked that writing it was like pulling blood out of a stone. A big thanks to Red C. for sending this one in from the U.K.
He who hesitates doesn’t get the early worm
Posted: April 22, 2015 Filed under: ANIMALS, bird, worms | Tags: early bird catches the worm, expressions, he who hesitates is lost, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, mixed idioms, words Leave a commentFollowers may recall a recent post from Marykathryn, who was described as “The Norma Crosby of Malaphors”, and who uttered the classic “do you think I would paint myself in a corner and throw away the key?” She now has sent another classic, spoken out of exasperation. Her husband apparently is a slow and cautious driver. He was trying to make a right hand turn onto a busy road and missed at least three chances that Norma Crosby perceived. So, she calmly said to him, “You know Danny, he who hesitates doesn’t get the early worm.” This is a conflation of “he who hesitates is lost” (people should act decisively) and “the early bird catches the worm” (the one who arrives first has the best chance for success). It is somewhat congruent as both proverbs relate to acting quickly to achieve success. Trivia tidbit – The Early Worm Gets the Bird was the name of a Merrie Melodies 1940s cartoon by the great Tex Avery. A big thank you to Marykathryn for sending this one in!
They gave us an opportunity to learn by fire
Posted: April 21, 2015 Filed under: fire, THINGS | Tags: baptism by fire, expressions, humor, language, learn by example, malaphor, malaphors, words Leave a commentThe (un)Civil Professor of Malaphors, Martin Pietrucha, strikes again with this beauty overheard at a conference. It is a perfect mash up of “learn by example” (educated by watching someone or something) and “baptism by fire” (a first experience of something, usually difficult). “Under fire” (criticized) might also be in the mix, although I think the shared word here is “by”.
Do you think I would paint myself in a corner and throw away the key?
Posted: April 20, 2015 Filed under: ACTION, throw | Tags: expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, paint oneself in a corner, throw away the key, words Leave a commentThis is not a mix or conflation but rather a combination of two idioms, resulting in a very good malaphor. The speaker states that she has a habit of mixing expressions and her husband calls her the Norm Crosby of malapropisms. Actually this one is a malaphor and not a malaprop, so perhaps she is the Norma Crosby of Malaphors? In any event, she said this one to her husband when he was questioning her decision on a particular case. She said, “How stupid do you think I am? Do you think I would paint myself in a corner and throw the key away?” That ended the argument because he was laughing so hard. The malaphor is a combination of “paint oneself in a corner” (get into a difficulty from which one can’t extricate oneself) and “lock someone up door and throw away the key” (incarcerate indefinitely). Thanks to MaryKathryn for unintentionally uttering this one and sending it in!
This provided me with a real springstone to learn this new position
Posted: April 19, 2015 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Bruce Springsteen, expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, springboard, stepping stone, words Leave a commentThis gem was heard by the (un)Civil Professor of Malaphors, Martin Pietrucha. This is a congruent conflation of “springboard” and “stepping stone”, both describing something that launches a career or activity. The word “springstone” reminded Martin of an old 80s EP record, Bruce Springstone: Live at Bedrock, which has a couple of songs on it done by the fictional Bruce Springstone who mashes up Springsteen and the Flintstones. Great listening if you have never heard it:
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