Can someone help us without going through all these hoops and whistles?

Posted: September 11, 2016 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

It’s hard to keep track these days of all those bells, hoops, whistles, and hurdles.  This gem was written in an email expressing frustration.   It is a mash up of “jumping through hoops” (having to do extra things in order to do something you want) and “bells and whistles” (fancy add-ons or gadgets).  Both phrases refer to “extra things” which I think is the cause of the conflation.  Also, perhaps the writer had an image of a dog jumping through a hoop, and being trained by a whistle?  A tip of the hat to Paula Fow Atchison, who saw this one and passed it on.

dog-through-hoop

I am free as a bell

Posted: September 9, 2016 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

With a gala postponed, her calendar was suddenly empty.  When her friend asked if she was available on a certain date, the speaker uttered this nice malaphor.  This is a conflation of “free as a bird” (completely free to do anything without any worries) and “clear as a bell” (very clear).  The similar sounding and looking words “bell” and “bird” no doubt caused the confusion.  A shout out to Susan Ivison for saying this one and passing it on!

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Rusty is cowarding in the bathroom

Posted: September 6, 2016 | Author: | Filed under: WORD BLENDS | Tags: , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Linda Bernstein, loyal malaphor follower, related this one from the Fourth of July. Fireworks were being set off all around, and Rusty the dog hid away in the interior bathroom to get away from the loud noises.    Her grandson Nick then exclaimed that “Rusty is cowarding in the bathroom”.    This is a nice word blend of cowering and coward.   Cowards do often cower, and the words sound similar, so the mix up is a perfect blend.    As many of you know, most malaphors are idiom blends but once in awhile two words are blended together to make a nice word blend malaphor.  These are very different than portmanteaus, as I have explained in previous posts.  A hat tip to Linda Bernstein for sending this beauty in!

He’s a man without an island

Posted: September 5, 2016 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Two buddies at dinner were discussing a young major-league baseball player who was being sent down to the AAA team and refused to report to minor league city as a protest for being demoted.  Considering that the player now had no team to play for now and that the team was going to drop him as a result, he was referred to as “a man without an island”.   This is a nice mash up of “man without a country” (expatriate or exile) and  “no man is an island” (human beings necessarily depend on one another).   A big thanks from the malaphor skipper to my little buddy Mike Kovacs for hearing this one and passing it on!

gilligan

I’m on top of the moon!

Posted: September 3, 2016 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment
This one comes straight from the recent Olympics, courtesy of CBS news.  After Usain Bolt won yet another gold medal, a spectator was interviewed and exclaimed “I’m on top of the moon.”  This is a congruent conflation of “on top of the world” and “over the moon”, both meaning to be extremely excited and happy.  All he needed to add was “Ma.”  My guess is that if Neil Armstrong knew about malaphors, he would have said this beauty instead of that “one small step” crap.  A big thanks to Sam Edelmann, whose keen hawk ears heard this one and passed it on.
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usain bolt

We’re treading on dangerous waters here

Posted: September 2, 2016 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

This was said in a pretrial conference in response to an unusual procedural request from the opposition.  It is a nice mash up of “on dangerous (shaky) ground” (a proposal on an unstable or questionable foundation), “treading lightly (or carefully)” (cautious), and “venturing in uncharted waters” (going into unfamiliar or unclear situations).   The latter seems particularly in the speaker’s mind considering the context.  This malaphor is very similar to a recent one I posted: “I’m treading in uncharted waters”.  https://malaphors.com/2016/08/03/im-treading-in-uncharted-waters/

A tip of the gavel to Tom Justice who heard this one and passed it on!

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Students going there are going to have a huge foot up on everybody else

Posted: August 31, 2016 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment
This was stated in a marketing podcast.  It is a nice mash up of “getting a leg up on someone”  (an advantage over someone) and possibly “putting a best foot forward” (giving it your best).  However, Marcia Johnston, who spotted this one, also mentioned that “the phrasing might imply ‘having people underfoot’, although that meaning is more to do with other people creating a nuisance than with having an advantage over people.”  She also thought the concept of people you meet (step on?) while climbing the ladder of success might be in the mental mix.  I think “getting off on the right foot” (to begin something that is likely to succeed) may also be in play here, as it is consistent with the message the speaker is trying to convey.  In any event, feet and legs get tangled up in this one for sure!  A big thanks to Marcia for sending this one on and for her deconstructing insight.
Put your best finger forward and go to Amazon to get my book on malaphors, He Smokes Like a Fish and other Malaphors!  You will be glad you did.  Just go to http://www.amazon.com/dp/0692652205.

Don’t get your panties in an uproar

Posted: August 29, 2016 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Sage advice, and a nice mash up of “don’t get your bowels in an uproar” (don’t get excited) and “don’t get your panties (knickers) in a twist (bunch)” (don’t get upset over a trivial matter).  Both idioms are very close in meaning, and both involve the lower extremity area (panties and bowels).  They also both have the words “don’t get” and “in a”, adding to the confusion.   This one is very close to a malaphor I posted in January 2015,  “don’t get your panties in a ringer”, written by Todd Christie, brother of Chris Christie, in a Facebook comment, reacting to people commenting on the Governor celebrating the Dallas Cowboys playoff win with Jerry Jones in his box suite.  See https://malaphors.com/2015/01/10/dont-get-your-panties-in-a-ringer/.  And of course this one is similar to one of my all time favorites posted in 2012 – “don’t get your nose in an uproar”.  https://malaphors.com/2012/08/31/dont-get-your-nose-in-an-uproar/

A big thanks to Donna Cosentino for writing this one on a Facebook comment and Rachel Schwemmer for spotting it!

Clinton is selling them down the tubes

Posted: August 28, 2016 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

During an interview with Anderson Cooper this week, Donald Trump responded to a question from Anderson on why he called Hillary Clinton a bigot.  Referring to African Americans, Trump said that Clinton is “selling them down the tubes.”  This is a mash up of “selling them down the river” (harming or disappointing people who trusted you) and “going down the tubes” (to become much worse).  “Down” is the culprit here, as it appears in both idioms.  Also, I suspect the image of tubing down the river might have floated in Donald’s mind.

For the first time, I received a malaphor spotting from two people, both who are loyal malaphor watchers and followers, Mike Kovacs and Sally Adler.   A yuuuge thanks to Mike and Sally for hearing this timely mixed idiom and sending it in!

If you liked this one from the political world, I have a whole chapter of malaphors uttered by politicians in my new book, “He Smokes Like a Fish and other Malaphors”, available on Amazon now!!

trump

He threw caution out the window

Posted: August 26, 2016 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

When this gem was uttered by her husband, Susan Edwards, a loyal malaphor follower, immediately contacted Malaphor Central (me) to report it.  This is a mash up of “throw caution to the wind” (to take a risk) and “out the window” (gone or wasted).  The hiccup here is obviously the words “wind” and “window”.  The prepositions “to” and “out”, both indicating movement, also were mixed up.  Perhaps this could be a new cliche, meaning someone who is extremely reckless and/or daring?   A big thanks to Bob Edwards for uttering this one and Susan Edwards for hearing it and passing it on!

Throw caution out the window and pick up a copy of my new book on malaphors, “He Smokes Like a Fish and other Malaphors”!  It’s available on Amazon at http://www.amazon.com/dp/0692652205.

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