Take no quarter

This nice, subtle malaphor was uttered by Harry Litman, former US Attorney, on the MSNBC show Deadline: White House.  Mr. Litman was talking about the Southern District of New York and its toughness on criminal activity, specifically referring to Michael Cohen’s possible involvement in criminal actions.  It is a congruent conflation of “take no prisoners” and “give no quarter”, both meaning to show no mercy or compromise in pursuing one’s objectives.  “Taking” and “giving” often get mixed up, it seems, as it is difficult sometimes to understand why one word is used and not the other.  For example, the expression “I need to take a piss (or dump)” makes no sense to me as one is really “giving a piss (or dump)”, right?  Conversely, the phrase “I don’t give a hoot (shit)” about something makes more sense if you “don’t take a hoot (shit)”.  Word rant of the day.  A big thanks to “my ol’ pal” Beatrice Zablocki for giving a hoot about malaphors and spotting this one.


In case you can’t quite pin the nail on the head

This is from a video about a person describing a mental health condition to his doctor. The speaker said, “It’s helpful to get a recording in case you can’t quite pin the nail on the head.”  This is a mashup of “pin it down” (to establish or determine something concretely) and “hit the nail on the head” (to do exactly the right thing).  As the submitter said, certainly the game “pin the tail on the donkey” was probably on the speaker’s mind.  A big thanks to Jake A. Phillips for sending this one in!

 


Michael Cohen is in hot soup

This subtle malaphor was found at Slate.com.  Here is the full quote: “That might seem like a pretty shaky defense, even if Cohen really used his home equity line to get the funds as he claims, but it turns out to be no defense at all. Cohen should be in hot soup either way.” https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2018/03/if-michael-cohen-is-telling-the-truth-about-his-stormy-daniels-payment-he-can-be-disbarred.html

“In hot soup” is a congruent conflation of “in hot water” and “in the soup”, both meaning to be in trouble.  Perhaps this conflation means the person in question is REALLY in trouble.  The mix stems from the liquids “water” and “soup”.   Soup can be served hot or cold, but in this case it is scorching hot.  A tip of the hat to Barry Eigen for spotting this gem.

You will not be in hot soup purchasing THE book on malaphors, “He Smokes Like a Fish and other Malaphors”, available on Amazon today for a cheap $6.99.  Check it out at https://www.amazon.com/dp/0692652205


It’s tough when there’s bone in the matter

This was a response to someone who was griping about a situation she didn’t like, even as she recognized the pettiness of her complaint.   It is a mash of “bone to pick” (grounds for a complaint or dispute) and “truth in (of) the matter” (used when you want to show you are being honest).  Perhaps the speaker was thinking about the marrow in the bone, the “matter” inside the bone.  A big thanks to curioussteph for uttering this one, realizing it was a malaphor, and sending it in.

If you want to get to the matter of malaphors, look no further than my book “He Smokes Like a Fish and other Malaphors”, available on Amazon at https://www.amazon.com/dp/0692652205.  No bones to pick there!


So many horses are throwing their hats into the ring right now

Interesting visual.  This malaphor was seen on Golf.com.  It is a mix of “throw one’s hat in the ring” (indicate one is going to be a candidate) and I think “no horse in this race” (not invested or affected in the outcome of something).  This is a true incongruent conflation, as the idioms have opposite meanings.  “Workhorse” (a person who works tirelessly) may also have been in the mix as the writer was talking about professional golfers who are true workhorses.  The writer may also have been thinking of horses in a circus going around a ring.  A shout out to Larry Mason who spotted this one and sent it in.


It’s going to be a rocky ride

This was uttered by Andrea Mitchell on her MSNBC show,  Andrea Mitchell Reports.  It is a congruent conflation of “rocky road” and “bumpy ride”, both describing a difficult period of time.  This is a particularly fun one, as there is a homonym mash up included – “road” and “rode”.  A tip of the hat to Vicki Kovacs for hearing this one and sending it in.


Elvis and Costello

A father and daughter were watching clips of the old Jack Benny Show.  The daughter remarked that she liked “Elvis and Costello” better.  This is a mashup of the singer Elvis Costello and the comedy duo Abbott and Costello.  Is it a malaphor?  It certainly is a mix of two items, albeit not idioms.  I declare, as Malaphor King, that it is one, and a really funny one at that.  Who’s on First?  Peace, Love, and Understanding.  A shout out to John Kooser for hearing this one and sending it in.


Even-headed

On the MSNBC show The Beat with Ari Melber, Sen. Richard Blumenthal (D – CT) decried the loss of H.R. McMaster by saying that there are now “fewer even-headed, mature individuals in this administration”.  This is a mashup of “even-handed” (impartial or equitable)  and “level (or calm)-headed” (calm and practical).  This is almost a perfect malaphor.  The words “even” and “level” both relate to equity, and “hand” and “head” are body parts and similar sounding words.  Was this perhaps a Freudian slip, with the speaker thinking that the current Trump administration has some “odd heads” in it?  A shout out to “my ol’ pal” Beatrice Zablocki for hearing this one and sending it in!

Does the Pope shit in the woods?

When asked if he wanted another beer, the speaker uttered the above response.  It is often said intentionally, as in the movie The Big Lebowski.  The Dude responds with this line when Jackie Treehorn offers him another White Russian.  It is a congruent conflation of “does a bear shit in the woods?” and “is the Pope Catholic?”, both expressions that describe the obvious.  There are many expressions in this vein, and I call that “idiom overload”,  when there are just too many sayings swirling around in the head that have the same meaning.  Another example of idiom overload is the many expressions describing one who is not very intelligent (e.g., “not the sharpest tool in the shed”, “not the brightest bulb in the chandelier”, etc).  Many thanks to Erin Powers for hearing this one and sending it in.