Keep your fingers wet

Husband and wife are discussing plans after she retires.  He says that since she knows a lot of people she should keep her fingers wet.  This is a nice mash up of “get (one’s) feet wet” (start a new activity or job) and “have a finger in the pie” (to be involved in something).  “Finger on the pulse” (continuing to monitor something) may also be in the mix, as the discussion concerned continuing to stay in touch.  I think “pie” is probably the one, though, as putting fingers in a pie does make them wet.  A big thanks to Barbara Artuso for hearing this one and passing it on!


I’m getting a little punch-happy

This one was said at the end of a long day of meetings.  It’s a nice word blend congruent conflation of “punch-drunk” and “slap-happy”, both meaning to be dazed or giddy.  I really like this one, as it also can describe being drunk, as in drinking too much punch at a party.  Certainly a few artillery punches will make one very happy…. for awhile.   A shout out to Nate Shand for hearing this one and passing it on!


It’s for all the bananas

This was spoken by my sister-in-law recently.  It is a nice mash up of “for all the marbles” (all the winnings or rewards) and “go bananas” (to go mildly crazy).  My guess is that she was also thinking of “lost (one’s) marbles”, also meaning to go crazy.  So the thought process went something like this, perhaps:  marbles → crazy → bananas.   Then again, a “top banana” is also the winner so maybe that was in the mix as well?  Whatever the deconstruction, it is an excellent malaphor and hats off to Mercy Mamalis for uttering it!

banana


Republicans are on the horns of a bull in a china shop

This malaphor was written by Michael Gerson in a Washington Post column.  https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/the-best-fortnight-in-a-decade-for-conservatives-uh-oh/2017/02/06/93e2f1aa-ec9a-11e6-9973-c5efb7ccfb0d_story.html?utm_term=.fe5334ede362

It is a nice mash up of “on the horns of a dilemma” (unable to decide between two things because either could bring bad results) and “bull in a china shop” (clumsily destructive).  Mr. Gerson was discussing how Republicans are in a difficult situation, where if they criticize Trump, they could receive massive retaliation.  While malaphors are usually unintentional slip ups, this one clearly was not.  A big thanks to Sam Edelmann for seeing this one and passing it on!

michael-gerson


I like to put another feather in our bag of tricks

This little ditty was heard on the Discovery Channel’s “Fire in the Hole”, episode entitled “Pressure Cooker”.  It was spoken by Matt Barnett, CEO of Texplo Explosives.  This is a mash up of “feather in our cap”  (achievement) and “pull out of my bag of tricks” (one’s stock of resources and stratagems).  Perhaps the speaker was thinking of those doves flying out of a magician’s hat and feathers flying?  A big thanks to Alan Richardson who heard and submitted this one.

fire-in-the-hole


I was painted into a wall

This is a nice congruent conflation of “painted into a corner” and “back against the wall”, both describing being in a hard-pressed situation.  A wall mural painting might also have crept into the recesses of the speaker’s mind.  Who knows? Many thanks to Elly Pietrucha who mistakenly uttered this one and passed it on!


That was your hip reaction

An employee recalled a decision his employer had made and uttered this nice mash up of “shooting from the hip” (to react quickly without thinking of the consequences) and “gut reaction” (a reaction to a situation based on feelings rather than a logical analysis). Both phrases involve an instinctual reaction rather than a carefully thought out one.  Also gut and hip are three letter words, and are anatomical words as well, perhaps adding to the confusion.  Then again, maybe the employer is just a real “hip” guy and reacts in an informed or in the know way?  Thanks to Steve Grieme, Super Malaphor Hunter, for hearing this one and sharing it!

If you had a hip reaction to this post, you might want to read the book on malaphors, “He Smokes Like a Fish and other Malaphors”, available on Amazon.  http://www.amazon.com/dp/0692652205  It’s a real page burner!


We didn’t want to just jam them out in a fire hose

This is another beauty from Sean Spicer, Trump’s Press Secretary.  At a news conference in response to a question about why President Trump has not undertaken all of the “day one” actions he had promised, Spicer replied that the administration did not want to “just jam them out in a fire hose.”

There is the dialogue: “Why not pursue all those on Day One, as he promised in a contract with the voters?”  Spicer said the Trump administration doesn’t want to “just jam them out in a fire hose.” https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/a-sheepish-sean-spicer-shows-a-trump-white-house-with-some-capacity-for-shame/2017/01/23/9d9729bc-e1bb-11e6-a547-5fb9411d332c_story.html?utm_term=.2eb7c89ac076

This is a mash up of “jam (something) down (someone’s) throat” (to compel someone to accept something) and  “drinking from a fire hose” (to be inundated by more of something than one is capable of handling).  A big thanks to David Barnes for catching this one and sending it in!

sean-spicer-1

 


She’s making money left and hand

This was overheard in a conversation.  It is a mash up of “left and right” (everywhere) and “hand over fist” (for money to be exchanged very rapidly).  Seems like the left brain might not know what the right brain is doing.  A shout out to Sam Edelmann for hearing this one  and passing it on!


To say Joe is excited is an under exaggeration

On the Discovery Channel’s Yukon Men, Stan describes the excitement of son, Joey, about goose hunting: “To say Joe is excited is an under-exaggeration.”  This is a nice word blend malaphor of “understatement”, “overstatement’, and “over exaggeration”.  The latter is frowned on by some linguists as being redundant, but my research indicates it is a legitimate idiom, meaning wildly or excessively exaggerating.  The recent kerfuffle on the audience numbers at the recent US inauguration is perhaps a good example.  A big thanks to Nate Brogin for hearing this one and sending it in!

yukon-men