It’s cold as hell outside
Posted: May 24, 2014 Filed under: hell | Tags: blended idioms, cold as shit, expressions, hot as hell, humor, it will be a cold day in hell, language, malaphor, malaphors, mixed idioms, oxymorons, phrases, words Leave a commentThis is a jumble of several phrases, including “hot as hell”, “cold as shit”, and “it will be a cold day in hell when…” (unlikely event). This oxymoron malaphor is fairly common, considering the above expressions and the mixing of temperatures in the brain. Thanks to Sid Sher for sending this in and admitting he said it!
You had to figure out what you were going to do on a dime’s notice
Posted: May 20, 2014 Filed under: dime | Tags: blended idioms, cnn, congruent conflations, expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, mixed idioms, on a moment's notice, prepared to turn on a dime, words 7 CommentsSteve Grieme, one of the best malaphor spotters around, heard a beauty on CNN last week. A guy was videotaping some of the raging wildfires in Southern California. In response to a reporter’s question about people fleeing from their homes, he said, “Fight of flight. You had to figure out what you were going to do on a dimes notice”. This is a congruent conflation of “moment’s notice” and “be prepared to turn on a dime”, both meaning to act quickly. Thanks Steve!
http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/1405/17/cnr.03.html
It’s not an air shut case
Posted: May 17, 2014 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: air-tight case, blended idioms, congruent conflations, expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, mixed idioms, open-and-shut case, words Leave a commentThis wonderful mix up was heard at a training seminar. The instructor was indicating that discrimination lawsuits are not always straightforward and then proceeded to combine “air-tight case” and “open-and-shut case”, both meaning straightforward situations without complications. The speaker may also have been thinking of air lock doors that seal out air completely, found in airplane exit doors. This is a great example of a congruent conflation, mixing two closely defined phrases. A big shout out to Bill Shaffer for sending this one in to Malaphor HQ!
We are going to keep this one in the back of our pocket
Posted: May 10, 2014 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: back of our mind, blended idioms, in my back pocket, malaphor, malaphors, mixed idiom, property brothers 6 CommentsThis was spoken by one of the Property Brothers (Drew Scott), referring to a house that was a “maybe”. I believe this is a mash up of “”in the back of my mind” and “put it in my back pocket”, both meaning to keep an idea to use later. This one is subtle but nevertheless a nice mixed idiom. Hats off to Yvonne Stam for hearing this one!
Let’s float a carrot
Posted: May 3, 2014 Filed under: carrot, float | Tags: blended idioms, dangle a carrot, expressions, float an offer, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, mixed idioms, words Leave a commentThis was heard on a conference call in reference to a price proposal that would be presented to a customer. It is a mash up of “float an offer or idea” (present something informally to see if people are interested) and “dangle a carrot” (encourage someone with an incentive). By the way, carrots do float (I think). This beauty was heard by my chief roving malaphor reporter Mike Kovacs. Of course I thank him profusely.
You’re being such a team sport
Posted: April 28, 2014 Filed under: player, team | Tags: blended idioms, congrunet conflation, expressions, good sport, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, mixed idioms, take one for the team, team player, words Leave a commentThis odd sounding congruent conflation is a mash up of “good sport” and “team player”, both meaning to get along well in a group. There may be a sprinkle of “taking one for the team” (sacrifice yourself for the good of the group) as it was uttered to someone in high heels trying to keep up with her friends. A big thanks to Naomi David for saying and sharing this one. She is quickly becoming the female version of “the master”.
And I’ve only jumped through the first one of these hurdles
Posted: April 25, 2014 Filed under: ACTION, hoops, hurdles, jump, THINGS | Tags: blended idioms, Bradley manning, Chelsea Manning, clear a hurdle, expressions, humor, jump through hoops, language, malaphor, malaphors, mixed idioms, words Leave a commentThis malaphor is similar to my posting of August 5, 2013 but bears repeating. This is a wonderful mix of “jump through hoops” (do everything possible to please or obey someone) and “clear a hurdle” (overcome an obstacle). The confusion lies with hoops and hurdles, things you jump through and jump over. It was spoken by Chelsea Manning (formerly Bradley Manning) on announcing her name change. Here is the context:
“Unfortunately, the trans* community faces three major obstacles to living a normal life in America: identity documentation, gender segregated institutions, and access to healthcare. And I’ve only just jumped through the first one of these hurdles.”
http://www.chelseamanning.org/featured/chelsea-mannings-statement-on-her-legal-name-change
Many thanks to Guy Patterson for spotting this malaphor!

Take a left
Posted: April 19, 2014 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: blended idioms, expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, mixed idioms, spinning, take a break, words Leave a commentI heard this one in spinning class today. The instructor was telling the class to lighten up after a vigorous climb. It is a mash up of “take a break” (relax) and “turn to the left” (ease the tension of the bike). This nice malaphor combines the instructor’s two thoughts in one! Oh, and it was a great class.
She should face the piper
Posted: April 14, 2014 Filed under: music, piper | Tags: blended idioms, expressions, face the music, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, mixed idioms, pay the piper, Tim Hardaway, words 1 CommentThis is a wonderful congruent conflation of “face the music” and “pay the piper”, both meaning to accept the sometimes unpleasant results of an action. I saw this in a website called “Expertlaw”:
“Our 13 year old was caught stealing a necklace retailing for $4.50. We are so shocked and disappointed by her actions. In addition, we are unsure what to do or what to expect in terms of prosecution, etc. We feel she should face the “piper” but we hope that it is tempered or that the punishment will fit the crime. We have taken personal action but have no idea what we should/could expect from the Michigan courts. Can you provide some idea? Thanks”
http://www.expertlaw.com/forums/showthread.php?t=10572
There also is a quote attributed to the basketball player Tim Hardaway – “I was always taught if you do something, face the piper. Try to make it right.” So let’s go do something today and face the piper!
You knew that you struck lightning
Posted: April 7, 2014 Filed under: gold, lightning | Tags: 1968 Democratic Convention, blended idioms, Dan Rather, expressions, howard stern, humor, language, lightning strikes, malaphor, malaphors, mixed idioms, struck gold, words Leave a commentThis is a nice mash up of “lightning strikes” and “struck gold”, the latter meaning to hit it big. This gem was heard on the Howard Stern show this morning during an interview with Dan Rather. Stern asked Rather about the 1968 Democratic Convention where he was physically assaulted on camera. Rather continued to report on the story despite the assault. Stern said to Rather, “you knew that you struck lightning.” Rather then repeated the malaphor as he continued discussing the incident. A big thanks to Mike Kovacs for spotting this one!
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