I don’t harbor any luggage
Posted: March 14, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: excess baggage, expressions, harbor a grudge, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, mixed idioms, words 3 CommentsPretty whacky, but it was said by the Rochester NY school board President. “‘I don’t harbor any luggage from our battle over mayoral control,’ White said, noting he and Duffy have known one another for years.” This is a mash up of “harbor (or hold) a grudge” (to have persistent ill feelings toward another) and “excess (or a lot of) baggage” (a personal history or traumatic experience that has become burdensome). This is an interesting malaphor as the word luggage does not appear in any of the mixed idioms. Baggage and luggage are synonymous and also sound alike, so this is where the mix up occurred. Also “grudge” and “luggage” have similar sounds so the brain might have tried to pluck “grudge” from the swirl of words and instead picked “baggage”. A big thank you to John Costello for reading this one and passing it on.
Even a blind squirrel finds a nut twice a day
Posted: March 13, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: even a blind squirrel finds a nut once in awhile, even a broken clock is right twice a day, expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, words 2 CommentsThis congruent conflation was uttered by a former colleague in a training session. He mixed the sayings “even a blind squirrel finds a nut once in awhile” and “even a broken clock is right twice a day”, both meaning someone who is misguided can still be correct by luck or by chance. Both idioms start with “even a” which probably created the mash up. A big thanks to Tim Stueve for hearing this one and passing it on!
He’s sharp as a whip
Posted: March 11, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, sharp as a tack, smart as a whip, words Leave a commentThis malaphor was heard on “Hardball” with Chris Matthews. Political pundit Charles Cook was describing former Louisiana governor Edwin Edwards, now elderly, whom he saw recently. This is a congruent conflation of “smart as a whip” and “sharp as a tack”, both meaning to be very intelligent. Both idioms contain the same number of words, and “sharp” and “smart” have similar sounds. I can see where these metaphor can be easily mixed. A big shout out to “my ol’ pal” Beatrice Zablocki for hearing this one and passing it on!
He’s not the sharpest light bulb in the pack
Posted: March 4, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, not the brightest light bulb in the pack, not the sharpest tool in the shed, words 1 CommentWhat’s with light bulbs and tools being confused? A familiar mash up, this time the congruent conflation is “not the sharpest tool in the shed” and “not the brightest light bulb in the pack”, both describing someone who is not very intelligent. The various sayings describing a dimwit are similar sounding and involve something in a unit or package that is unique, hence the confusion. I have posted other variations on this theme – see https://malaphors.com/2015/12/07/youre-not-the-brightest-toolbox-in-the-shed/ and https://malaphors.com/2013/06/24/not-the-brightest-tool-in-the-shed/.
I call the above “idiom overload” when there are just too many sayings swirling around in the head that have the same meaning. Another example of idiom overload is describing the obvious: “is the Pope Catholic?”. “Does a bear shit in the woods?” etc. These get mixed up regularly. A big thanks to Gary Kelly for hearing this one and passing it on!
We don’t want to get caught with our pants off
Posted: March 1, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: caught off guard, caught with our pants down, congruent conflation, expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, mixed idioms, words Leave a commentMarykathryn strikes again! In preparing for a trial, she and her husband were discussing strategy and who was going to do what. She told him they had better really study the transcript from the Deposition and be prepared to catch the witness in any lies. He agreed. She then uttered, “Well after all, we do not want to get caught with our pants off.” This is a great congruent conflation of “caught off guard” and “caught with our pants down”, both meaning to be taken by surprise. This is an amusing mash up, for many reasons. First, it uses the word “off” in the wrong place. Adding to the confusion is the word “caught” found in both phrases. “Pants off” and “pants down” achieve the same purpose, so I can see why the speaker mixed up her idioms. Another shout out to Marykathryn Kopec for providing a great malaphor!
She’s got a new project on the fire
Posted: February 26, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, humor, irons in the fire, language, malaphor, malaphors, on the back burner, on the front burner, words Leave a commentIt didn’t carry any water with the Judge
Posted: February 22, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Adam Sandler, Aquarius, carry someone's water, carry weight with, expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, words 3 CommentsThis was heard on NPR’s Morning Edition. The reporter was describing the argument on the motion to dismiss the criminal charges in Pennsylvania by Bill Cosby’s lawyers as follows: “it didn’t carry any water with the judge.” This is a mashup of “carry weight with” (be influential) and “carry (someone’s) water” (do someone’s bidding or to be subservient to someone). The word carry is used in the same phrases contributing to the mix up. Weight and water both begin with W and have similar sounds. Also, the visual of a water carrier (Aquarius or Adam Sandler?) might have “sprung” up in the speaker’s mind. A big thanks to multiple malaphor contributor Yvonne Stam for hearing this one! She has ears like a hawk.
He bent over hoops for me
Posted: February 19, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: bend over backwards, congruent conflation, humor, idioms, jump through hoops, language, malaphor, malaphors, words Leave a commentNow that’s impressive! This ditty was overheard at a benefits hearing where the claimant was referring to someone who was assisting her. It is a congruent conflation of “jump through hoops” and “bend over backwards”, both meaning to do everything possible to please someone or accomplish something. Bending over hoops is probably the ultimate in pleasing someone. The mix up is caused, I think, by the action words bend and jump, and by the similar meanings of the phrases. A shout out to Sam Edelmann who heard this one and passed it along.
You hit the nail on the coffin
Posted: February 17, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: another nail in the coffin, expressions, final nail in the coffin, hit the nail on the head, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, words 2 CommentsThis jumble involves the word nail and perhaps vampires? It is a mash up of “hit the nail on the head” (to get exactly right) and “the final nail in the coffin” (an event that ultimately leads to the failure of a situation or event that has already begun to fail). Also in the mix is probably “another nail in the coffin” (something that will harm or destroy someone – e.g., cigarette). Certainly the common word “nail” is the culprit here, but also the phrases conjure up the image of hitting a nail on something. For me, the image of the wooden stake (nail?) being driven in the heart of a vampire might be adding to the mix-up. A big thank you to Lou Holtzman, who heard this from a co-worker and immediately send it to Malaphor Central. That was the right thing to do, Lou; otherwise you would have forgotten it, as the best malaphors are fleeting thoughts.
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